The crappy, holiday season
by Healy10
Summary: Stan and Kyle face changes in their perceptions of what their relationship is when new and old love triangles form due to misunderstandings and growing up. This takes place from October-January therefor going into each holiday. Just as our minds and body's change over time so can our relationships. Style with some K2 and Craig related scenarios. Fluff in beginning then Slash.
1. The beginning of new problems

In the 7 years in the hometown of our 4 favorite 8 year olds, little to nothing has changed. South Park still seems to have some mysterious magnetism that attracts the strange, awkward and downright freaky into the town. Once when the boys were 11 an infestation of murderous fairies were found behind the McCormic residence that plotted to take over the world; after that misadventure Kenny decided not only to keep his hood down but "come out" as bi-sexual (both Stan and Kyle thought that was no different than usual and Cartman flipped out and brought on a homo- vs. straight people war 2 days later to make Kenny choose). 3 months after that the town decided to host another country music festival which somehow brought out Big Foot in the process who was discovered to be none other than Billy Ray Cyrus. Once when they were 14 the boys discovered the only art museum in South Park contained undiscovered pieces from Michelangelo, Dali, Beardsley and Monet and the town had to decide what to do with them (this was one of the only big fights between Kyle and Stan when Stan said they should be sold to an art collector and Kyle said they should be kept on display at the museum). Another fantastic time was when they were 15 and Kyle's dad decided to open liquor store and Kyle, against his will and to his annoyance, became the most popular kid in town until Cartman burned down the store in a fit of jealous rage (only to be disappointed when their insurance check came and the family upgraded their house).

The one thing that could be counted on is that if there was a strange mystery or problem the makeshift Scooby gang would be on the case. Multiple times the boys had found murderers, stopped people (and Cartman) from committing National treason, once kept the apocalypse from happening for another 100 years (which made the boys very happy, knowing that they'd be dead before that happened), and saved the world from intergalactic terror twice. Now, if a problem occurred in the town that required police attention, police officers would often go to the boys for tips, clues and help. Stan wondered if this was meant as a sort of calling, that naturally the boys had some dynamic pull in balancing people's lives for the better. Kyle knew that it was just because every adult in the town was just too stupid and South Park was a natural cesspool of weird.

One of the bigger, lesser changes was the boys themselves. They grew up, not very mature-wise but at least physically. Stan had grown into a tall (complete 6 feet) and handsome young man with somber features, thin hair and a casual attitude. He grew very naturally, toppling inches easily through the years so it was no surprise that he was the tallest one in the group. He was very athletic, not from natural talent but just a growing desire to push his body. He found that by doing so he wouldn't have to think of things that became too serious or confusing and he could focus on his next move, possibly his last move. He was on both the football and soccer team and during the winter he ran cross country with the special track division, his athelitisim showed through how muscular and quick he was. He still cared deeply for animals and was still making up his mind whether to study veterinarian skills or regular doctor studies. He found than in addition to pushing his body he liked studying it and learning how it works. Of course he had those incredibly awful boughts of emotional turmoil and sometimes became Goth but only for about a week when he'd cap back on his poof ball hat and he, Kyle and the others would pretend as if nothing happened.

Kyle also changed gradually but not to the same extent as Stan. Kyle was the shortest of the group (5 ft. 7 and ½ inches) and also didn't have the same definition as Stan did. Kyle was lean, muscular in a very subtle way, and, to Cartman's demise, strong. Like Stan he enjoyed sports but he only played basketball and only as a hobby, he didn't enjoy the mindlessness of physical activity nor the feeling of how hot he gets after practicing too long, but he did enjoy the sense of community when on a team. To Kyle's further embarrassment although his hair fell down instead of gather at the top of his head it was now an even more wild mess of frizzy red curls that even the best product (that he refused to use under the grounds it's humiliating) could not contain the mess. To compensate he graduated to a larger version of his Ushanka and wore day and night, summer and winter, even during gym, basketball practice and while dressing out. In fact, the only time Kyle could be counted on not wearing the fuzzy, green hat was when he was showering and he avoided all mirrors while doing so. Kyle had exceeded his own academic standards, he and Wendy were the top students in all of South Park and in Middle Town; the 2 of the playfully competed with each other as neither cared whether one or the other was smarter but it was an exciting challenge for the 2 of them. Both Kyle and Wendy were on the Scholastic Bowl together and in the Honor's Society but Kyle is also in the Mathlets (which EVERYONE gives him shit about). Kyle enjoyed physics and psychology along with astronomy and politics which he and his father fought over constantly even though they usually agreed with each other. To the groups astonishment Kyle began taking his religion a little more seriously and began watching what he ate not only in accordance to his Kosher standard but also as a way to support Stan through his many out breaks of "did you know such-and-such harms the body in this way". Kyle would and will always blame Stan for his skinny-girl like-sized body even though it really was more of a lack of an appetite.

Kenny seemed to be somewhere in the middle of "he's not too strange" to "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY" in his persona. Kenny had grown to be 5ft. 10in. and was seen as very lanky due to his poor diet but also very strong and very quick, he outran Stan in cross country and was the fastest in track (he claims this is due to his need to be quick to get away with his famous 'can't arrest what you can't catch' routine with department store owners in Denver). His blond hair grew to just below his shoulders but was cut nicely (hairdressing was his mother's undiscovered talent) and even though his clothes were either too big or small or never appropriate for the weather he seemed to know how to dress himself up well to the point he looked good. He never really retired his orange parka but switched it out for an orange hoodie he "won" at a department sale in Denver. Kenny attracted many friends and admirers due to his happy go lucky attitude (something he must have adopted from dying and coming back so many times that he decides to live in every moment) and charming smile. But he eventually drives many of them away due to his VERY perverted behavior. In Kenny's words: "Life's too short to just live. You gotta jump on each band wagon and ride it till it's out of steam then do it again 'cause God's a bitch and you can't expect any favors from him." Of course this was said after confessing that he slept with the entire 10 sibling cast of the Circ du Sole travelling band wagon after dying and coming back to tell the story of how he and Mark Twain pulled pranks on Sudan Husain in Hell. Kenny enjoyed singing in the school choir, enjoyed getting free meals and one of his favorite pass times was making passes at Stan and Kyle.

Cartman may have changed the most though. Even though his attitude hadn't changed even slightly for the better (in fact everyone believes, while Kyle knows, it has gotten worse) Cartman has become just a bit more intelligent and a lot more clever over the past few years. In fact he nearly convinced the governor to support a bill to make high school girls have mandatory abortions if they became pregnant which Kyle and Stan fought and won against after getting the Tea Party involved (in which the party didn't leave South Park for an entire year in which more conservative assholes came up and more problems were created due to fundamentalism and other bullshit). Cartman had grown to be . 9in., something he bragged about to Kyle and cursed Kenny to ("GOD DAMMIT KEENY, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO BEAT ME BY ONE, FUCKING INCH!") Other than that Cartman's real change was that his weight seemed to sit on his body slightly better than before. Even though he didn't have a double chin and he seems stronger and slightly faster than when he was a kid he still had a very round face and was fairly large; thus he was still eligible to be called "Fat ass". Although he is smart, Cartman's nowhere near as smart as Kyle or even Kenny and took mainly academic classes where he did have trouble; but he did come out as fairly bright but mostly as very charismatic and charming. Even though he was some form of evil and had absolutely no empathy or a shred of decency Cartman knew and had an incredible talent for manipulating others. The only real reason that Stan, Kyle and Kenny could call Cartman a friend was out of a faint sense of fear and also a natural curiosity and fondness of Cartman's both psychotic rants and people skills. Though one thing really never did change; Cartman loved harassing Kyle but now enjoyed harassing Clyde and Butters as well. Although Kyle seemed to be his personal favorite.

All in all the gang seemed to be more than content with their lives. Kenny had a part-time job at Shakey's Pizza where the boys frequently visited him (Cartman and Stan doing most of the eating as Kyle sat there and either did homework or talked to Kenny/ fought off his advances) and Stan was in an animal's rights activists group that both Cartman and Kenny gave him shit about constantly. Wendy had continued to be Stan's on-and-off again girlfriend but she kept a very friendly and supportive role in the gang's life. Her and Kyle seemed to have become pretty good friends along with Bebe who had come out as a very smart young lady (not as smart as Wendy but pretty damn clever) and both girls easily fought against Kenny's advancements as well. Craig seemed to develop into a pseudo-emo dick to Kyle but seemed to be fairly close to Stan, probably because he and Stan were on the football team together. Butters became more proactive in the group's lives, especially Kenny and Cartman's, he was nearly in every one of Cartman's get rich quick schemes and if the 4 needed backup they'd call him for help. The rest fit in as good friends and nice background. Clyde worked at the movie theater and preferred Kyle over the bunch, Tweek worked in his parents coffee shop and had constant delusions and fits of paranoia, Token and Stan played football together and the 2 hung out every now and then, Pip took trips back to Europe occasionally and enjoyed Kenny's company, and the Goth kids seemed to be always near when Stan was in a shitty mood. But the Goth kids weren't so bad; they even made interesting conversation after they spouted a bunch of bull shit.

Now 16, the gang had found that their nitch since pre-school was perfect for high school. They were, in essence, the perfect fit of personalities and friends. Maybe though the real factor to this is that the town, unlike the children of the town, hasn't changed at all. The high school building (South Park High School, because once when all the dead presidents came back as zombies to the town they said they didn't want a single thing named after them or they'll kill each and every one of them slowly and painfully) was essentially the elementary school building just with 2 floors and slightly bigger. And due to layoffs and staff shortages Mr. Garrison, Chef, and Mr. Mackey came to teach at the high school where Stan and Kyle suspected that if they weren't careful everything in the town would begin to follow them around no matter where they moved to. But other than that, school was no less enjoyable than it is and multiple partners.

Other than that, I'd say South Park has settled into a sort of calm that makes everyone want to breath the fresh, unnatural mountain air that's always cold and always (except 1 week in summer) has snow in its breath. Maybe that's why the boys are thrown a problem that none of them are just ready to handle…

· *

"For the last, fucking time Cartman: There's no such thing as the 'Secret Society of Jewish Lords' and I'm not a part of it so shut the fuck up about it!"

Stan walks peacefully up to the bus stop to see Kyle screaming his lungs off and his face slightly red at Cartman who has just insinuated Kyle is naturally evil and an unholy creature because he's Jewish. Yep, this seems about right.

Due to budget cuts and the fact there's a shortage of people who can drive without purposely aiming to maim one another, the boys have used the same bus stop with the same bus driver each and every year for school. Stan has been working on getting a car these past few months and has almost saved up enough to pay for half with his parents and then would use it to drive the gang to school and support Kenny's trips to Denver instead of him sneaking away his dad's car when he's drunk during the day as he has been doing.

"Hey Kenny," Stan says as he casually walks up to Kenny while Cartman and Kyle fight.

"Shut up you God damn Jew!" Cartman screams while pointing an incriminating finger. "I know you and your people are all plotting to use your Jewish mysticism crap to trick us all into being your slaves and playthings and you're just mad that I'm smart enough to figure it out!"

"Hey Stan," Kenny says with smile. "Did you do that chemistry homework? It was too brutal dude; we burned it to make dinner last night."

"You racist fuck Cartman!" Kyle retorts as he seems to be gaining momentum. "You're the one trying to trick everyone into believing the crap you spew! If Stan and I hadn't told everyone the truth they'd still believe that the reason we take home updates was so that the parents and demons could speak in secret codes to mind control us!"

"Yeah I did it," Stan said as he scratched the back of his head, feeling where the boys had discovered years ago the government's early attempt at mind reading with computer chips and he removed them all by hand. "Yeah, it was fucking harsh dude. I almost chucked it out at the homeless guy who's been staring at our house the past few days and- move dude, Kyle pushed Cartman and he's coming at us in full force."

Kenny fell backwards into the snow (knowing full and well that if he fell forwards into the street he would get run over by a car immediately) and Stan did the same as Cartman fell hard onto the side walk.

"God damn Jew!" Cartman yelled back at Kyle. Cartman didn't always fight back, it wasn't at all fear of getting beaten' up (especially when it came to Kyle) but more to the fact that he either didn't feel like it or wanted to get back at them another way. The later was the type in this case.

"Fuck you, Fat ass," Kyle said and the turned to Stan and Kenny, resuming a natural look and stance. "Hey Stan. Hey Kenny."

This was also quite natural. Although Kyle had extreme mood fluctuations he could put on a calm face when the thing was over. That and that whenever he saw Stan it was a little hard for him to stay angry at something that happened on a regular basis.

"Hey Kyle," Stan smiled as he got up and took his regular position next to Kyle and creating a secure wall against Cartman, who had just picked himself up and began mumbling things about getting back at him. "Dude, did you see that special on USA about that crooked cop in New Orleans?"

"Oh yeah dude, of course! That guy was fucking sick! I mean, do they really just let anyone become a cop now a days?"

"Seems like it, you okay Cartman?" Stan wouldn't normally ask this but it looked like when Cartman fell he also landed a cut on his cheek. "You're kind of bleeding dude."

"Fucking shit!" Cartman shouts as he uncovers his hand and touches his face. He knows it's not from Kyle but just the fact that he's bleeding and it's now connected to Kyle pisses him off beyond belief.

"Aww," Kenny says as he takes his place at Kyle's right, throwing an arm around Kyle shoulder to bring him into a pseudo-hug. "Looks like my little Kylie here's got the skills to wup-ass on a daily basis!"

"Shut up Kenny," Kyle says while elbowing Kenny so he'd let go and stop hugging him. He's used to Kennys advances and knows that certain ones really are just to tease him. "And who're you calling 'little'!?"

"Dude, you seriously react to the 'little' comment more than to the 'my Kylie' comment?" Stan questions in mock disbelief. He knows one of the things that gets Kyle riled up is his height and that Kyle's short fuse at this will be easily diffused in a matter of seconds.

"That fucking pussy Jew didn't do this to me," Cartman screams while pointing back and forth between Kyle and his cut. "I got fucking cut while shaving this morning."

Cartman was more than a little proud of the fact that he was the first one out of the group to get facial hair followed by Stan and then Kenny. The only person who hasn't sprouted tuffs of uneven hair on his chin is Kyle whose own cheeks seemed soft and baby like with only a few, light freckles on his nose.

Cartman smiled at Kyle while he said this. "Oh wait, I forgot! Kahl can't shave 'cause he's a girly little bitch who probably doesn't even have his pubes yet!"

"Shut up fat ass," Kyle yelled while blushing. He was extremely embarrassed about not having any facial hair for the same reason he was afraid he wasn't growing properly. He had sprouted pubes, last year in late summer in which he praised the lord because he knew he'd have to shower in front of other guys that year. But mostly he was embarrassed about being called a girl. There had been several instances in Denver where college guys had hit on him thinking he was an easy, stupid girl from the back woods and Kenny and Stan had to pull him away because he nearly beat the living crap out of them. Now, Cartman knew the best ammo to use against Kyle.

"What's the matter Kahl," Cartman asks while smirking, bemused by the fact he's getting Kyle so riled up and red. "Are you on the rag again? God, Stan next time be sure to bring Kahl his tampons again. And chocolates, he needs lots of those."

"Goddamn it, Cartman!" Kyle was lunging for Cartman's throat but Kenny held him back by wrapping his arms around Kyle's waist and hoisting him up a few inches with Stan trying to block off Cartman. Stan knew that Kyle was a whole lot stronger, meaner and feistier than he looked and knew that when those certain buttons were pushed Kyle's nuclear reactor would not stop as easily as a regular one.

After a full 10 minutes of Stan talking Kyle down and threatening Cartman that if he didn't stop taunting him and wipe that smirk off his face that he'd let Kenny put Kyle down and he'd get out of his way. Once Kyle seemed sufficiently calmed down (as before he was completely red in the face, arms out strung and fists clenched while kicking his legs all around and spouting out a stream of curses) Kenny put him down on the ground. But he didn't let go of him. Instead Kenny opted to snuggle his head against Kyle's neck with a smile.

"God Kyle," Kenny breathed out in a flirtatious voice putting his face right to the side of Kyle's hat. "You are so fucking hot when you're that angry. Say, are you that feisty in bed too?"

"Kenny, cut that the fuck out before I break your nose again," Kyle says with a sigh, slightly tired from yelling this much in the morning. He had broken Kenny's nose once, the time he caught Kenny feeling him up while he was passed out in the library.

Just as Kenny sighed and let go of Kyle the bus came and they climbed aboard. There never were any assigned seats in the beginning, everyone just sat where they wanted to or like. But, as in every society, soon there came a silent code to how and where someone sat and at what times and places it was appropriate to change seats. Naturally Kyle sat next to Stan near the aisle because Stan like the window seat and Kyle was constantly turning his head backwards to either talk to Clyde, flip off Craig (or flip off Craig back), fight off Kenny or argue with Cartman. Cartman usually sat in the seat right across from them near the window and Kenny near the aisle (Kenny liked to sneak over to other seats and talk to/touch others playfully, like a game) and Butters and Tweak sat behind Stan and Kyle. Today was different.

"Woah dude," Stan said just as Kyle was about to sit down looking cautious yet warning.

"What," Kyle questioned while looking at Stan. "Is there something wrong with me sitting here?"

"Well, yeah dude. Wendy's sitting here when she gets here."

"What," Kyle thought inwardly and angry. Truth be told, he didn't think Stan and Wendy were dating again. They had broken up 2 weeks ago after a fight over a dumb movie and Wendy dumped him during lunch the next day (causing Stan to go Goth for 2 days and Kyle had to drag his ass back to reality before some weird, super popular book the Goth kids ate up came out). Kyle knew this sort of thing happened: they fight, then break up and in an undecided amount of time from anywhere between a week and a month they're back together again.

"Okay fine," Kyle sighed. He knew arguing on this point would have been pointless, Stan was dumbstruck when it came to love to the point he loved Wendy just to love Wendy but Kyle would never come out and say it for fear of breaking Stan's heart. "Where am I supposed to sit now then?"

"I don't know, dude," Stan said while quickly averting his eyes feeling guilty for not keeping Kyle in a constant loop. On the other hand he knew Kyle would throw a fit if he had heard sooner that he and Wendy were back together so this way kept him from getting freaked out at. At least he'd have to wait to go all full man-bitch mode on Stan when they were alone at school. "I think Craig's open."

"Craig!? You know I hate that guy! C'mon Stan, can't I just sit here until Wendy comes?"

"No way dude!"

"Why not?" Kyle looked a little bewildered at this. Stan had never objected out right for Kyle to be near him before Wendy, it was kind of frustrating.

"Because I want to make a good impression." This wasn't a whole lie. Wendy had complained last night that Kyle seemed to cling to Stan a little too much and that Stan liked it. Of course Wendy had explained it that she felt easily betrayed and like some sort of friend who was only talked to every now and then. "C'mon Kyle, it's not that bad."

"But I-"

"Sit down!" The crazy, old bitch of a bus lady cried with her menacing look. She seemed to have only gotten hoarser than anything in the past few years but Kyle was still terrified of her. She reminded him of an old movie he once snuck in to see when he was 7 with Cartman and Stan about an evil witch and she fit the image perfectly.

Kyle let out a little yelp and took the seat next to Craig who sat directly behind Cartman; no questions asked.

Craig just sorts of shift his gaze over from the window next to him to see Kyle (just getting over being shaken up by the bus lady that his eyes are still a little too wide) and grunts in displeasure.

"Move your ass," Craig says in his usual monotone, looking away and trying to ignore Kyle. Craig didn't even know why he didn't like Kyle, he just didn't. Perhaps it was Kyle's personality that he perceives to be some sort of "I'm-so-special" idea that must piss him off.

"Can't," Kyle said. Kyle was just about done with his terror and now felt annoyed that he was stuck beside Craig. Why or why couldn't he of found someone else with an empty seat?

"Then fucking go and get your boyfriend to take you back or something." Craig huffed this as if it was pure displeasure just to talk or be seen near Kyle.

"Ha!" Cartman laughed out after hearing this. "Thanks Craig, I'll have to remember that one for next time."

"Asshole," Kyle says, not making it clear whether it was to Craig or Cartman.

"You could always sit on my lap," Kenny smirked and as if to reinforce what he was saying he leaned back a bit and spread out his legs while patting one of them with his hand.

Stan couldn't help but laugh at this, especially when he saw Kyle's reaction which was to just slap himself in the face like he just got beaten by the world.

"Oh Hell no," Cartman responded. "I am not having that freaking faggy-jew sitting on his lovah boy's lap while I'm here!"

"Then you move," Kenny retorted, as if that could help. Stan was in a fit of giggles by this time and Kyle was glaring over at him.

"You ass hole," Kyle said to Stan while slightly cringing away from Kenny and leaning away from Craig.

"Hey, come on dude." Stan said as he finished up his giggling fit and wiped his eyes. "Be a super-best-friend and help a guy out in his love life!"

"What love life? You 2 aren't together long enough for you to actually do it!"

"I resent that remark!"

"Wait, you seriouslah haven't had sex with Wendy Testicleburger?" Cartman cracked up laughing his ass off and nearly crying. "Oh God! That's great!"

"Wendy Testeburger still may be innocent," Kenny bemused as he licked his lips. "Oooh, I would jump on that horse the second the chance was even hinted at. Literally."

"Kyle," Stan moaned in aggravation while dropping his head, completely embarrassed. "Dude, out of all the things you could have said… you had to aim straight for the balls…"

"Maybe even she sees how obviously gay you 2 are for each other," Craig says in his monotone, still looking away and acting like the world could fuck all to hell for all he care.

Cartman was cracking up to this and Kyle had turned around with an angry look that was more than a little red and told he was about to say something that he could regret.

"At least I'm not some passive-aggressive asshole who acts like everything in the world can be fixed by flipping it off," Kyle didn't really care if this meant anything. He needed it off his chest and for it to change the subject.

"Oh yeah," Craig said as he actually turned his head over to look at Kyle for the first time. "Here's something for ya."

Craig flipped off Kyle who just kept glaring at him. In Craig's mind he knew this did nothing, in fact he felt a little small for doing exactly what Kyle had said he would do. He felt he should have done something bigger, something more extreme, something that would wipe that seemingly ever persistent smirk that Craig knew Kyle hid every time he glared at him.

At that moment the bus swerved to a halting, motion and gravity pulling halt. Another thing that had changed with the bus driver: she had progressively gotten worse at stopping. Due to the weird forward motion that usually people react to by instinctually grabbing their seats, Kyle and Craig hadn't remembered to and Craig was violently shoved forward and back with Kyle's head first being shoved directly into Craig's chest and then down on Craig's lap with both of them groaning from motion sickness and pain.

Wendy walked up the isle to see Stan, taking in a heavy, deep breath from not plowing directly into the back of the seat in front of him, was sitting alone. "God I need a car," was all Stan could think in that exact moment.

"Hi Stan," Wendy said in her high, cheery voice. Wendy had grown into a very pretty young lady. She was about 5ft 6in and her long, ebony black hair was grown all the way down to the small of her back that emphasized her waspy waste. She still wore a pink bureau on her head but now it had multiple buttons for organizations, movements and people she supported. She now wore a lavender felt trench coat with the belt tied tight around her waist and yellow bell bottoms that covered her heeled boots. She topped this outfit off by using a baby green tote that said "Keep the Earth Healthy" that she converted to use as a make shift book bag. She looked down at Stan's empty seat. "Kyle's not sitting here today?"

"Nope," Stan said with a half-smile. He felt a little guilty but still happy to have Wendy near. "He's sitting with Craig and-WOAH!"

Stan turned his head to see Kyle in a very… compromising position. With Kyle's head in Craig's lap with his face facing his stomach and Craig's head back, still groaning….. Yeah, Stan did not expect to see THAT. And Stan's expression showed just that with him leaning forward and his eyes opened wide with his jab dangling just a little.

"Oh!" Wendy exclaimed after looking over and seeing the same thing. Only her view was a little less contorted as she could that even though Kyle's hat blocked a decent view of his face she could see he was just dizzy and a little shaken up rather than giving Craig head. "Ummm… I thought those 2 DIDN'T like each other?"

"Well… They seem to have made up to me." Stan was a little more freaked out than expected. He couldn't even find a way to laugh this off.

"Hey!" Kenny shouted as he hoisted himself up to look directly over his seat at Kyle and Craig. "No fair Kyle! Why does Craig get the benefits of your mouth before me!?"

By that time both Craig and Kyle had straightened up a little; Craig sat forward a little more and looked down to see Kyle, who had just begun to lean on his elbow that was on top of Craig's leg, look up and caught Craig's eyes. The 2 stared at each other shocked for a total of 3 seconds before Kyle shot up and walked over to the front where he crossed both his arms and decided to sit alone. Besides the howls of laughter coming from Cartman and wolf whistles from Kenny, Kyle was determined to block out all noises.

Wendy sat down and looked down at Kyle, talking to Stan about how poor Kyle was so embarrassed and that they should do something when they got to school. Stan nodded every now and then to make an appearance of conversation but was really trying to review how the whole fucking thing was just an accident. It wasn't Kyle's fault, it was that crazy-bitch bus driver and that fucking thing called gravity that fucks up everyone when it drops pianos on people. But for some reason he couldn't help but feel paranoid. When Stan looked over at Craig he noticed that Craig had crossed both his arms and leaned his head against the window but was blushing like crazy over his pissed off face.


	2. So, what do you wanna do?

One of the things Kyle would never understand about himself is that even though he resents his hair for being strands of merciless, red curling tentacles, was the fascination he had with playing with them when he was deep in thought. Almost unconsciously Kyle will slide his fingers under his hat and bring out a bright red, curled stand of hair and twist it around in between his fingers like he was braiding his own hair. More often than not he would catch himself doing this after seeing he had amassed a small gathering of red ringlets on one side of his face.

And that is where Kyle finds himself in AP World History (part 2) as he is taking his quiz and just before he finishes he finds a stray ringlet has travelled off his finger and gingerly bounced in front of his nose. Kyle seethed in silent anger over this. It was one thing to be constantly hiding the fact his hair would frizz out no matter how short he cut it but now he was adding to the problem by giving himself a perm? Kyle mentally kicked himself for his unconscious and very undignafying behavior.

Before he could hide his ringlets behind his ear a casually folded note landed gracefully on to his desk from behind him. On the front of it a K was printed in his strange squabbled yet neat handwriting. You could always tell it was Kenny's writing if it looked messy but it was still legible, like when a 5 year old neatly practicing writing his name over and over because he's so proud of himself. Of course Kyle huffs a little, this being a quiz and all and he's taking it un-Godly seriously as he dose each and every little thing, to toss a glance behind his shoulder over at Kenny who's diagonally across/behind from him. Kenny only made a little nudging gesture with his head over to Kyle saying: "Read the fucking note or I'll keep bugging you till the quiz is picked up".

Kyle sighed; knowing that in the end he would be defeated and covered in more notes with more and more cussing in them, possibly dirty writing and the end result with having to read it out loud. Once unfolding the intricately folded note (Kenny had a thing for origami) Kyle hid the paper under the desk and looked under to read it:

_You look so fuckable when you do that_.

Kyle, with a face of pure annoyance mixed with hate, crumbled the note in his hand and stuffed it into his pocket. He was determined to either throw it into the trash can or stuff it down Kenny's throat when he was through with his quiz. Kyle looked back to flip Kenny off who made a look of mock-hurt but then giggled when Kyle turned back to his quiz.

Kenny smiled at Kyle knowing the outcome of his action was really just to see if he could ease Kyle into a sense of let's-not-completely-stress-out-over-one-dumb-quiz that he knew was making him twist his hair around. Other than, yes, being attracted to his red haired friend Kenny genuinely cared about Kyle and did worry about how Kyle would stress out at the minor, really minor, details in life. But then again, if Kyle wasn't always so stressed and serious he wouldn't be the same high strung (and probably dynamite in bed) friend Kenny had known since Pre-school.

Kenny knows he'll pass this quiz. It was history for God's sake. If a person can't memorize a couple dates and tell the difference between the French and the English then they were probably dumb as shit. Kenny was a fairly bright young man, no incredible genius but he did turn out to be a very clever kid (which no one usually see's because it's hidden under all the perverse layers of Kenny's thoughts and actions). With that he had just sort of quickly done all the multiple choice and answered the short answer questions in 1-2 sentences. Kyle was writing a small essay, he knew, and it was only to be expected that Kenny was just too lazy to put in the effort to write more than the stated fact with minimum explanation. If he had to do any more work he probably would have added smart ass comments to his answers as well.

Being bored and in need of entertainment Kenny lets his eyes wander around the small classroom. One of the things everyone likes is that unlike the elementary school the high school is required to pump in extra heat so that the students didn't have to always wear their parkas or jackets. Of course most of the girls appreciated this due to the fact that they could now wear tank tops, halter tops and miniskirts that were school 'appropriate' and guys loved it for the eye candy. Kenny was currently wearing one of his favorite logo shirts that has a collection of almost every logo and tiny mascot for each restaurant in Las Vegas (which he swears when he gets there he'll eat in everyone or at least take a picture in front of like a stupid girl) with his orange hoodie over it and a pair of patched jeans that had to be repaired due to over use. He scanned over Kyle again: Kyle usually wore a light sweater over whatever long sleeved shirt he wore but today you could see the he was wearing a black and white stripped long sleeved shirt with the title of some indie-movie fest that Kyle was pinning to go to. It was cute that he liked that shit so much. From looking around Kenny could see the awesome cleavage shot of Bebe leaning over to look at quiz in her red, deep V-neck shirt. He caught several panty shots and 2 guys passing notes (cheats? On a quiz this easy?) to each other and then he caught a look at Craig. Craig had about 2 classes with Kenny and Kyle and he usually sat in the back either boredly playing with the tassels of his hat or reading some book under his desk when he was supposed to be listening. But today Kenny caught Craig, who sat in the very back, alternating his attention from his quiz to casting quick and embarrassed glances up at Kyle who sat in the front row.

Kenny could not help but smirk at this. Even if this could easily be blown over with the explanation of Craig just being freaked out about this morning or wondering if Kyle meant to do that on purpose, it was still entertaining as shit to watch. But Kenny got bored of it, seeing as all it really was just one guy who looked more confused about what he was actually doing and the other was just twisting his hair around while pondering which vocabulary term he should use next. Okay, Kenny had to admit that Kyle looked adorable when he played with his hair like that. Like, almost any girl looked adorable when they're just doing it without realizing it, but Kyle looked especially cute because it was only on one side of his face and he had to keep going under his hat like he was sneaking out secret codes and answers in the depths of his brain.

Everyone handed in their quiz and resumed the low chatter buzz and conversation they had in beginning. Kenny took this opportunity to go up and sit atop of Kyle's desk in an attempt to rile him out of his post-testing trance.

"I really mean it you know," Kenny said while looking down at Kyle who was staring blankly up at the white bored like he was emptying his brain. "I fucking wanted to take you right then and there while you were playing with yourself."

Kyle kicked one of the legs of the desk in order to jar Kenny and freak him out enough to hold on to the table for dear life. Kenny had a weird fear of earthquakes.

"Shut up you fucking creep," Kyle said while smirking, seeing a look of horror played out on Kenny's face. "And quick passing me notes like that! What if landed somewhere else and someone else read it?"

"Then I'd just fuck them instead." Kenny said very matter-o'-factly with a benevolent smile. It's not that Kenny was a slut… okay, maybe a little bit. But Kenny did enjoy people and wierding them out because he could always pull it off as some kind of joke.

Kyle rolled his eyes and looked away. "Dude, someday you're going to get sued for sexual harassment and I swear that even though you're one of my best friends, I won't go easy on you."

"Gee, thanks." Kenny says in a monotone with one of his looks usually reserved for 'I'm bored out of my mind' and 'yes, I'm listening to what you want to order you stupid fuck'. "I'm going to be so lost without my life-savings of $5 and that deflated blow pillow I call a bed. Maybe if we sold the house we could get me a nice suit from the J-Mart and the judge'll go easy on me."

Kyle cracked a smirk and hit Kenny on his shoulder.

"Well, you could always pay me back with your body." Kyle joked, getting into an almost playful mood now that Kenny had de-stressed him. Something that took a little time and always put Kyle in high spirits.

"Really!?" Kenny said quickly with bright eyes and a wide smile.

"God," Craig huffs as he over hears their conversation. For the record, it isn't that Craig doesn't have any friends, quite the contrary as he is a part of the football team and also the baseball team. Right now he was hanging around Rebeca, Heidi and a kid named John whose house is in the district closer to South Park than Little Town. "Can you be anymore of slut, Kyle?"

Craig always spoke in a monotone; it was like a bored drawl that he never got rid of. It may come from being both a little stand-off-ish and also a little shy when it comes to social situations. But he was pretty popular, more or less.

"Can you be any more of a dick, Craig?" Kyle questioned back, barely turning his head to look over at Craig. Craig and Kyle would never stoop to calling each other Tucker and Brofloskie. Mostly the reason behind it was to save the town from pitting the 2 of them in constant fights or add another layer of passive-aggressive hate to themselves.

Craig simply flipped Kyle off which twisted Kyle up inside a little. This morning may be the most embarrassing morning of his life, surpassing the time his mom followed him to school the entire day in 5th grade because there was terrorist threat to a high school in Middle Town. And honestly, all he knew was that Craig was continuing to call him a Fag and may be telling everyone Kyle had a crush on him.

At that moment the bell rang for classes to switch. Kyle began picking up his books and realized he had some sort of trash in his pocket. When he pulled out a crumbled piece of trash he figured he must have forgotten it in his jeans a few nights ago and just left them in there by accident. Just before leaving he saw Craig flip him off again (something Craig did to everyone but also whenever he felt like pissing someone off) and Kyle, deciding to be less passive-aggressive and more proactive, threw the wadded up piece of paper at Craig and left the room with Kenny.

Kyle left before seeing the piece of paper hit Craig in the forehead and land in his hand. It didn't hurt, but it sure as hell pissed Craig off that Kyle had actually tried to hurt him. Token and Heidi laughed as they left, joking about how the 2 of them were constantly between the line of ringing each other's necks or making out, when Craig saw that there looked like there was something written on the paper. He saw the letter 'K' which he supposed stood for 'Kyle' and then turned the paper over to read the message on the other side:

_You look so fuckable when you do that._

· *

"Dude," Stan called out over to Kyle as he saw Kyle waiting for Kenny at Kenny's locker. Kyle waved over at Stan as he approached them. "Hey, sorry that I basically ditched and left you with Wendy in the hall earlier. It was just… you know… weird."

Earlier that morning, after they got off the bus, Wendy had tracked down Kyle, who was hitting his head against the school bulletin board, and coaxed him into a sense of calm. I say 'sense' because at first all he did was groan and grumble until Wendy somehow persuaded that no one actually thought anything happened. And Stan was apologizing because he literally had just pointed to where Kyle was at and then walked directly to his first classroom, no stopping at his locker or to talk to anyone, and left Kyle with a supportive yet slightly over-bearing Wendy.

"Oh yeah, I bet that was weird for YOU. What with MY head being stuck in Craig's lap and all, and then Wendy trying to tell me that my perceived sexuality wasn't in danger." Kyle said this with a smile yet his eyes told that he was pissed off and he talked in grudging, sour tone. "Oh, and let's not forget the part when Wendy pulled Butters and Bebe over to try and 'console' me."

"Oh my God." Stan pinched the skin in between his eyes and looked down at the floor. Truthfully, he really was just doing this to keep Kyle from seeing the grin on his face. "She didn't-"

"She fucking did!" Kyle shouted, now in complaint mode rather than 'I'm-angry-as-piss' mode. "Butters looked like he was being interrogated and almost cried and Bebe just sat there and laughed at me!"

"Oh my God."

"And that's not even the worst part! I was almost late to class because she was actually trying to set me up with Bebe!"

"Oh my God…."

"I know! I mean, she wasn't saying it out right; she was more like hinting at it. But the entire time we were talking she would get Bebe and Butters to say something about how I'm like- WILL YOU STOP FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME YOU GIGANTIC ASSHOLE!"

It was at that time he noticed Stan was shaking with laughter and couldn't hold it in any longer. Stan was leaned over and laughing hard with Kyle seething in anger, his face hot and red from embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," Stan eventually managed to breathe out as he straightened up, still grinning ear to ear and a little red. "I'm sorry… I'm really… It's just, oh God, I just can't believe she actually tried setting you up with Bebe while saying nobody thinks you're gay!"

"I know," Kyle said begrudgingly, knowing Stan was really only laughing at the situation rather than making fun of him. He could just tell with Stan. "I'm mean, I don't mind the thought, I'm flattered actually. But seriously, you had to do it while asking her to agree with her that I'm not gay. I mean, yeah, it doesn't look at all like she's trying to be my cover or have someone else be. And God, she had to do it all in front of Butters…!"

"Yeah… We'll have to apologize to him and make sure he isn't too traumatized later."

"Him!? What about me!? You don't think I need some kind of therapy now!"

"Alright, alright, alright already!" Kenny shouted as he slammed his locker door shut. "As much as I love ogling you 2 and hearing about how Wendy demasculated Kyle, I've got a class to get to. Now get yer asses out of my way."

Kenny smirked as he passed them, thinking of just how amusing those 2 can be. Kyle and Stan, taking the hint that they also needed to get to class, walked over to the locker that they shared. Again, most of this was due to a shortage in lockers due to a recent homicidal HD TV attack that happened in South Park, but also because it worked to the best-friends advantage. Kyle always remembered the locker combination, meticulously organized things and kept a schedule on what classes where split between 2 days and which day they took those classes. Stan liked this because he constantly forgot his combination, constantly used to lose stuff in the locker, pile trash and leave in the locker and would constantly which classes he had for which day.

"Can't you ever remember the combination," Kyle questioned as he bent down to open the locker. Somehow he wasn't that mad anymore; probably from having Stan hear him out and then Kenny brush it off like it was nothing. "I mean, what would you do if I didn't show up to school?"

"That would never happen Mr. Perfect Attendance," Stan bemused as he leaned back against the lockers. This really was the best option, since Kyle was already shorter he usually handed Stan whatever he needed and did so fast while reorganizing in accordance to what they would need next time they stopped here.

"Oh yeah? What if I was bed ridden with some sort of deadly disease?"

"Then I'm sure you'd still cart your ass here just so you could infect Cartman."

Kyle snorted in agreement. School was important to him and his mother made sure he was at the bus stop and at school on time each morning if he didn't wake up early enough. In fact he had to promise his mother that he was perfectly fine getting ready on his own without his mother's help. As Kyle stood up and handed Stan his books Cartman had walked over, seemingly out of his way for no real reason other than to be a pain in the ass.

"Gee Kyle," Cartman said while smirking after Stan had taken his books. "I didn't know how much you coddled Stan. All you need to perfect the picture is kiss him on the cheek and send him packing."

"Shut up Fat Ass," Kyle said aggravated. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with this.

"Ay! Don't call me 'Fat' you fucking Jew!"

"Are we seriously going to have another fight before the next class has even started," Stan complained. There was nothing more boring than seeing the 2 of them in some sort of insult slinging match. Sure, it was funny when they were 10 but they really hadn't gotten any new or better material to use over the years.

"Ugh," Cartman said, just as Kyle and Stan were about to leave. "See this now? This is me _leaving_. So then: screw you guys, I'm a' goin'-"

"To class, Eric Cartman." Mrs. Humpfreeton completed for him. Mrs. Humpfreeton was not only a counselor with Mr. Makey but also the computer science teacher and had Cartman in her class. She was strict, ever vigilant and fun sucking ever since she moved to South Park with her husband. "As I expect you 2 to do as well Stanly Marsh, Kyle Broflovski."

"Yes ma'am," both Kyle and Stan said in union. She wasn't a scary woman, but she was intimidating and had a sense to her like she had connections. Stan and Kyle both quickly turned and walked to their separate classes, hoping that woman wasn't staring at them and wondering how exactly she knew THEIR names as well as Cartman's? They haven't taken Computer Science before and she wasn't their counselor.

· *

Lunch was in between 2nd and 3rd period for the students at South Park High. Like the bus, there was a silent code to where you sat and with who and when changes were appropriate. If a change happens suddenly and without notification a small panic occurs in the close knit community where rumors are spread and tears are shed.

The table closest to the window is always occupied by the same mass of friends since elementary school: Craig, Clyde, Tweak and Token. This table would also have others sit with them occasionally, like Timmy, Jimmy, Red, Duggy and John from Middle Town but mostly those 4 would be secure in their "private" conversations. But this conversation was slightly strained. Token was complaining about the marathon runners in the Colorado Fall Cross Country Run that he couldn't participate in. Tweak talked about the dangers of cars (one of his most feared objects) and what running does to your legs after years of training and getting tired on the track, falling behind and then getting run over. Clyde reminded Tweak that he doesn't run for fun and reminded Token about how great the next game was going to be because everyone in town was coming to watch it. And Craig just stared at a piece of paper under the table, not being able to think straight.

"Hey Craig," Token said while Clyde was trying to reassure no one was going to purposely run him over for no Goddamn reason. "You okay, man? You've just kind of been staring down at your shoes all this time and haven't said a word. Did something happen?"

"Um," Craig began, he was freaking out slightly. He backed away from Token a bit and stuffed the paper down into his pocket so no one would see it. "Yeah man, I'm good… Just a little… tired…."

"Are you hot too?"

"What?"

"Hot? Like, do you feel warm? I mean, you're all red in the face all of the sudden."

"R-Really?"

"Well, yeah man, you've been red for a little while but now it's more noticeable."

-different part of the lunch room-

"Well hello children," Chef says with a smile like always after they say "Hi Chef" in union. The same routine happened every day, but he enjoyed it because it made him feel like he really helped lives. "How are ya'll doin'?"

"Pretty good," all 4 of them say in union. Chef smiles', knowing that means they'll have a problem coming along in a day or 2.

"Hey Chef," Stan asks, getting his attention.

"What's up, Stan?"

"How does Mrs. Humpfreeton know all our names?"

Chef stopped working and looked at them in absolute horror.

"Ah," he started, carefully looking around as if making sure no one was watching him. "Now childrun, I-I don't think it's any of my business to know what Mrs. Humpfreeton's thinking."

"Well we just want to know why she would-"

"Oh! Sorry childrun, there's more lunches to be served and you're blocking the line!"

Chef hands each kid their own custom plate he's understood how to fix for years. Stan gets the standard issue, Kyle gets one with white milk and is a bit smaller due to the fact he doesn't eat much, Kenny gets extra by taking the food scraped off of Kyle's and Cartman's only looks bigger so he won't complain.

The boys go to their own table that's in the middle of the lunchroom where Stan and Kyle sit across from Cartman and Kenny. In fact, the only time this seating order is ever changed is if Butters sits with him. But since Butters usually spends his time in the library that usually doesn't happen.

"Dude," Kyle starts while opening his milk. "What was that about? Why would Chef get freaked out by Mrs. Humpfreeton?"

"Um maybe because she's a fucking psychopath," Cartman comments, looking a bit freaked out. "Goddamn it, I hate her! She's like some sort of fun-sucking witch who just wants to make everyone's lives miserable!"

"Yeah," Kenny commented absently. "But she's got great tits."

Kyle and Cartman thought about this until nodding their head in agreement. For a bitch with a stick up her ass and no sense of humor, she had a pretty great rack.

"Okay guys," Stan said, ready to change the topic. His voice was now very serious. "New question: What are we doing for Halloween?"

Kyle looked at him astonished.

"Dude, seriously?" Kyle he questioned Stan. "How is that more important?"

"I'll get to it." Stan waved off with a slight smile. "I just need to know what we're all doing."

"Well, trick or treating has been off the table for, I don't know, 6 years."

"Kyle, please," Cartman started in his calm yet bossy tone. "You are missing the point here. You see, unlike you, WE have a social life. And also, unlike you, we do not have such childish, frivolous manners such as yourself."

"Shut up, Cartman! Just last year you tricked then entire 2nd grade into trick or treating for you by telling them to give you their candy or else Santa wouldn't of shown up!"

And in the back of his mind Kyle wondered how that plan even worked…

"And I would of gotten away with it too if some meddling JEW didn't call al their parents on me!"

"You were traumatizing them!"

"Okay guys, stop!" Stan yelled, trying to get their attention. "What did we try to do last year that we did the year before but we didn't because of Cartman?"

"We went to a party." Kyle answered blankly.

"Okay, and who's throwing this year's Halloween party?"

The group had to think for a minute before Kenny remembered.

"Craig," Kenny said cheerfully. "His parents got that new stereo set and are all going over to Stan's house for the parent's party."

"Aw, Craig?" Kyle sighed. "Really? Him? I would have thought Token was hosting it again?"

"Nah, Token's parents decided they were gonna host some sort of call in charity for some TV show and there's not allowed to be any alcohol or teenagers humping."

"Alright," Stan said while smiling. "Now, we know that my parents are having the party for adults, and that means there's gonna be a lot of boozing going on there."

"Oh no," Kyle said while pinching the skin in between his eyes.

"So we get ready at my house and sneak some really good booze away and bring it to the party."

"Won't they already have booze there? I mean, Craig (the asshole) would be smart enough to have beer and saved some wine for the party."

"Yeah, but they won't have any hard liquor, and guess what? A bunch of adults and parents have been hiding their liquor, all the hard stuff and really weird shit, over at my place 'cause they don't want their kids sneaking away with their stuff."

"And so we bring all that really hard and weird shit to the party and really get things amped up," Kenny said while smirking. Kenny had already known his dad had hidden a thing of moonshine at Stan's house and couldn't wait to get a hold of it.

"Oh man you guys," Cartman said while fantasizing in his head. "Can you imagine what everyone's gonna be like? All fucked up and shit face, and then they'll have US to thank for it."

"We'll be the life of the party," Kenny said while staring at the celling, imagining 2 girls drunk and horny and thankful to Kenny for the entertainment.

"Alright," Kyle said with a huff, annoyed by his friends obvious over exaggeration at all this. "I think we're missing a point here. Craig isn't inviting us, I mean beside Stan he relatively despises us. He wouldn't let us in."

"That's why we go in about 2 hours after the party's started," Stan says smiling. He knew Kyle would bring that up but knew what to say. "By then they'll all have a light buzz and when they see our cartel, they'll beg us to come in. So we go in looking fashionably late AND like the coolest kids in South Park."

"We'd be cooler if Kyle's dad still owned that liquor store," Kenny bemused while eating. "I mean those all night parties were A-mazing, dude!"

Kyle rolled his eyes at that. He knew that really the only reason his dad started the liquor show was so that they'd be the coolest family with the all night parties and booze connections. It was just sad though that Kyle didn't drink and, even after owning a liquor store, never learned how.

"Alright, I get it," Kyle said, shaking off the nagging feeling of mild discomfort at this idea. "So that's the plan? We bring booze to the party, got it."

"Actually," Stan smiled, feeling very amused.

"What," the 3 of them said in union, interest picked.

"I was thinking we could all drive to Denver during the day and come back at night for that party. You know, do a little partying in the big city before crashing Craig's."

Kenny smiled widely, amused beyond what his other fantasies were. Kenny loved Denver. Not only because it wasn't South Park but that it wasn't South Park and had entertainment almost constantly. It was there that he picked up all the maps of places he was planning on traveling to and one of the few places he didn't mind constantly dying in.

"Sweet, dude!" Kenny nearly squealed while jumping a little. "I think I can get the truck from my dad as long as-"

"No need, Kenny." Stan said smugly while rapping his arms around his chest.

"No way," Kyle said with an ear to ear smile. "You mean-"

"Found out just after class. My dad called me all excited saying Uncle Jimbo found an old buddy with a van that was in pretty good shape and was selling it for cheap. And no, Kenny, it won't explode when you start it."

"Sweet, dude!" Kyle said nearly tackling Stan over from excitement. "When do you get it?"

"A week, right before Halloween so we'll be all set to party."

"Aww man, do you guys know what this means?"

Everyone nodded in agreement and said in union: "No more bus."

At that the lunch bell rang meaning there was 5 minutes until classes started again. The group went to dump their trays in the trash cans when Stan looked over at Kyle.

"Dude," Stan said while eye-balling the only half-eaten tray. "You sure that's all you want to eat?"

"Yeah," Kyle said while about to throw it away before seeing Kenny eye-balling it. He sighed and handed it over to Kenny who stuffed the pizza and fries in his jacket pockets. "Why?"

"Well it's just… Dude you've gotten really skinny. Like almost unhealthy skinny."

"Like a girl," Kenny tried to say through a mouth full of food which came out more like: "Riff ugh hurl."

Kyle glared over at Kenny. "I'm not gonna do anything right now and let you off the hook since I couldn't make that last comment out, Kenny."

"Oh jezz," Cartman said while rolling his eyes. "They mean you like a sissy, anorexic girl whose acting like she's constantly on the rag!"

"Shut the fuck up Cartman!" Kyle nearly yells, unconsciously making sure not to cause a scene. "I do not look like a fucking girl, Fat Ass!"

Kenny exited this conversation quickly, knowing it'll lead to nothing but his pain. Cartman just smiled and left the lunch room, thoroughly pleased that he got Kyle so riled up in so short a time. Kyle walked out slowly, fist clenched and teeth gritted. There was nothing in the world that didn't piss him off so much than knowing he was too skinny and short for a basketball player and looked so effeminate. Stan wrapped his arm around Kyle's shoulder and pulled him into a hug, somehow defusing some of Kyle's anger. Kyle looked up to see Stan smiling down at him and rubbing his shoulder reassuringly.

"For what it's worth," Stan said in a hushed voice. "You're a really pretty girl."

Usually this would make Kyle resent him, but Kyle just smiled up and Stan and kicked him ankle while laughing.

"Fuck you, asshole."


	3. Movie night!

"Oh please, Bubbeh," Shelia Broflovski, Kyle's mother, begged her son as they sat at the dinner table. "At least TRY and eat a little more. You've gotten so skinny lately and it's worrying me!"

There has been no 'lately' involved in his weight problem. Kyle had been pretty skinny since freshmen year, but since he'd only grown an inch and a half and gained barely 5lbs. in the past 2 years, his parents were pretty worried.

"You're not on a diet are you," Ike, 11, asked him brother as he looked up at him. Ike was about 5ft. 4in and knew he was going to outgrow his brother at this rate. "Because, if you are, you know you've probably already surpassed your target weight."

"I'm not dieting," Kyle said absent mindedly as he shifted and played with the food on his plate. "I'm just not hungry."

This scarred Kyle too. When he was a kid he had a fairly healthy appetite, but now just thinking about food could make his head hurt, and if he ate the same sized portion as his brother he'd feel like he'd have a rock on his stomach and not be able to move.

"At least eat some more bread, Kyle." His mother insisted. She was pretty sure bread wouldn't fill him up but it was better than him having only a handful of peas and carrots and a couple bites of baked chicken. "You're as skinny as a rail, Bubbeh. Tomorrow I'm having you visit the doctor to see if he can find anything wrong with you."

"What!? Mom! I don't want to do that! He's gonna make me pee in a cup and save my shit for him just so he can send it out of state and give me the results back in a week!"

"Kyle! You will not talk that way at the table!"

Both Kyle and Ike rolled their eyes at this. Ike knew what 'shit' meant. He also knew what sex was supposed to be and how innocent people are killed every day by the government and war lords in Africa. To be honest Ike had grown up understanding that sort of crap from a young age and had a firm grasp on what it all meant.

"Kyle, this is serious." Kyle's father said, finally speaking up. It wasn't that Kyle's dad was aloof or didn't care but that he was generally a quiet, calm person. When he spoke up, it meant something was real and important. "We're all worried about you and want you to be able to get better."

Kyle sighed. He knew he'd lost this battle. So it was strip, poke, piss, shit and show tomorrow at the hospital. Whoop-de-fucking-doo… Kyle took one of the dinner rolls his mother was still insisting he eat and nibbled around the edges. Bread was easy to eat even though it didn't fill him up.

At that time the phone rang and Kyle got up, since everyone else was still eating, to answer it.

"Broflovski residence."

"Hey, I'm looking for this red-headed guy who goes to my school. You know. The one who's real skinny, always mad and looks really hot when he's insisting he's not a girl."

Kyle smiled. It was Stan. And the bastured knew how to make him laugh over the phone.

"Fuck you, asshole."

"Woah! I didn't know we were having phone sex here." Stan laughed as he leaned against the door to his own room since he was calling on a cell phone. "If I did, I would have worn something sexier."

Now Kyle laughed. Another thing Stan knew how to do well: impersonate Kenny. It was also great since, for some reason, Stan always sounded somewhat sensual while talking on the phone. It made no sense to Kyle but Stan's voice always sounded deeper and had a rugged allure to it while over the phone.

"Shut up," Kyle said after giggling and now gently cupping the mouth piece. He was somewhat self-conscious about other people over hearing his conversations. "What's up dude? Why didn't you just call my cell?"

"Well for one: I think we kind of accidently switched cell phones and… I can't remember my number."

That wasn't too hard to disbelieve. They'd done that a couple times before on accident and it probably happened during English when they were taking multiple selfies of each other and showing them by passing their phones to each other. But that didn't stop Kyle from rolling his eyes.

"Really? Dude, you can't remember your own number?"

"I know, I know. Wendy gets on my ass about it enough so don't you start too. Anyway, are you free for the rest of the night?"

"Yeah, I did all my homework earlier, what's up?"

"I got off from practice pretty early tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to go and catch a movie with me?"

"Why aren't you asking Wendy to go?" Kyle couldn't help but overhear the strange tone in his voice to this. It wasn't exactly angry but it also wasn't happy.

"For one: I don't remember her number. It's on my phone, which you have. Two: She's at a Young Democrat's meeting that's trying to plan some protest or field trip or whatever. And three: The movie playing is some cheesy indie action movie set in the Amazons and has that one actor you're gay for who's been in that one movie about the Chimps."

"Donald Reegan!?" (Yeah, I made this guy up so now you CAN'T sue me!)

"Yeah man, him. The theater's doing some double feature and I don't know what the movie before that's gonna be but it's all supposed to be half off and pretty good."

"Hold on a sec." Kyle removed his face from the phone and shouted over his shoulder. "Ma! Is it alright if I go out to see a movie with Stan tonight?"

"I don't know Bubbeh," Shelia answered with a little worry in her voice. "It's a school night you know. Have you done all your homework?"

"Yeah, Ma!"

"And have you done your chores?"

"Yeah, Ma!"

"And has Stan also done his homework?"

Kyle stood there for a second with a silent scowl on his face. He wasn't surprised. Just ashamed. He talked through the phone again.

"Have you done your homework, dude?"

"Umm…. No."

"He did it, Ma!" Kyle shouted over his shoulder.

Stan laughed at this, knowing his mother was crazy about school work and Kyle would do just about anything to get out of his house.

"She said it's okay, dude!" Kyle said happily.

"Alright, I'll meet you out in front of the theater in about… 25 minutes sound good?"

"Sounds great dude. See you there!"

Before Stan could say anything back, like to remind him to bring his phone back, Kyle had already hung up. Stan laughed at how obviously excited he was and noticed he was really happy all of a sudden. He wasn't very interested in the movie but he did like doing things with Kyle for the fun of doing things with Kyle. Stan caught a whiff of his own BO. He remembered how hard practice was and went into his room to find a less smelly shirt to wear to go see a crappy double-feature with Kyle.

· *

"Hey guys," Clyde says with a smile as he sees both Stan and Kyle walk into the theater.

"Hey Clyde," the 2 say in union while walking up to the concession stand where Clyde works. Clyde was always slightly creeped out when those 2 said things in union, it always made them look sort of murder-ish.

"What do you guys want?" Clyde knew the answer. Everyone knew the answer. When you worked in the only theater in South Park and since almost everyone in South Park was a creature of habit, people tended to know your order before you even said it.

Like always: Stan wanted the medium popcorn with extra butter, large drink and a pack of Chef's Big Chocolate Balls. Kyle ordered the small popcorn and drink and questioned why the manager hadn't fixed the ceiling since the last Hollywood movie production teams came in to try and destroy it. If the others were with them Kenny would have ordered a large everything (but then be told to get the small popcorn and soda) followed by a Cartman who would also order the same but with nacho cheese in his popcorn.

"So," Clyde felt like making small talk since none of the movies were playing for another 5 minutes and he was pretty bored. "How come it's just you 2 here tonight?"

"Kenny's working," Kyle added. "And no one wants to invite Cartman to see it because he's a giant asshole and is just going to say is that the movie's going to be about 2 gay cowboys eating pudding."

"They're playing this weird indie movie here tonight," Stan said while stuffing napkins in his pocket. It was a good thing the theater didn't charge extra for napkins because Stan tended to take a lot even though he was always very careful. "I don't really care about seeing it but Kyle's totally gay for the main actor in movie and it's kind of adorable-"

Stan was cut off by Kyle kicking him in the shin, angrily.

"I am not gay for him! He's a great actor AND his last movie was all about how people are harming the Chimpanzees due to interference in their home and it was awesome. I would think YOU would be gay for him since you're such an animal lover."

"Yeah well," Stan said while rubbing his shin, smiling. "I'm not into guys."

"When will you guys just get a room," Clyde mumbled to himself, rolling his eyes while getting the popcorn. He knew it was more than obvious those 2 were closer than close, especially in the last few years, and they seemed to have an abnormal level of bromance going on.

"What was that?" Kyle asked, looking over at Clyde in an innocent manner. Clyde never fought with Kyle and never tried to get on his bad side for the same reason he avoided doing anything too close to, or doing anything with, Cartman. They were dangerous people. But at least Kyle was interesting. Clyde had actually seen the movie with Donald Reegan Kyle when it first came out. He was not impressed by it.

"I was wondering if you guys wanted free refills." Clyde masterfully lied as he set down their drinks and popcorns. "That double feature is supposed to be pretty long. Oh, and I think that actor you guys were talking about, the one who worked with monkeys, his movie is the second one."

"Then what's the first?" Kyle asked while sipping on his soda.

"Um, something from that director who did that movie "The Candyman"."

"What's that?"

"Hey," Stan quickly said while turning over to Kyle. "Can you go and get our seats?"

"Why?" Kyle asked and quirked his eye brow up. "This place is practically deserted."

"Yeah but… I don't want to have to find them in the dark."

"Then we can go now."

"But I'm waiting for my chocolate balls!"

"Dude… you sounded SO gay right then."

"Just take our stuff and find a seat please!"

Kyle rolled his eyes and huffed a "fine" while struggling to carry all of the food into the theater.

"Dude," Stan said while turning to Clyde. His voice was deep and serious and he had a very worried look. "Are you telling me the first movie's gonna be a horror-slasher flick?"

"Yeah," Clyde said cautiously while pulling out Stan's candy from under the counter. "Why? Are you bad with scary movies?"

"No dude, not me, Kyle! The dude's mom's sheltered him so much that he gets freaked out during any horror movie. I mean, the last one he's seen was this cheesy movie from the '80s about a witch and halfway through he was balling!"

"Really? How old was he?"

"7! He was 7 years old and it freaked him out so much that I think we traumatized him with it!"

"Oh Jezz," Clyde couldn't help but laugh at that. Kyle did seem to have problems with his emotions and over protective of his morals, and the idea of seeing him shriveled up and sniveling at a stupid scary movie was just too funny.

"I know, it's hilarious but now I'm worried."

"Dude, it's fine. I'm sure he's over it by now, I mean, I know he went and sat through that Indiana Jones movie and the Passion of Christ."

"Yeah… yeah, I guess he's probably grown up since then." Stan smiled as he took his candy and walked over to the auditorium which was playing the double feature.

"That," Clyde mumbled to himself as he leaned against the candy counter to relax a bit. "Or he'll end up cuddling to you through the entire time. Either way, none of my business."

· *

Kyle was fine. He was munching on his popcorn and making remarks about the obvious advertisements. The lights went off and he was still fine. He and Stan whispered about the previews of the up and coming indie movies. Stan was surprised how accurate Cartman was about how indie movies were like from most of the advertisements and Kyle pointed at 2 he wouldn't mind seeing. Kyle was still fine when the previews stopped and the list of actors came for the next movie.

Kyle was not fine when the movie started.

The opening scene involved 2 women being brutally tortured by a man wearing a sheep's head like a mask. Kyle was as still and ridged as a stone, not moving, not blinking and Stan could almost swear that he wasn't breathing either. Stan leaned in over to Kyle to try and see if he was alright.

"Kyle," Stan said timidly, afraid Kyle would yell at him or freak out. Kyle did jump a little when he heard Stan's voice, which made Stan jump a little from surprise. "You okay Kyle? This isn't too much for you or anything?"

The next scene showed 2 runners who were running out in the open field and a shot of an old house with a man watching them out his upper window. Stan noticed Kyle was shaking a little.

"I-I'm fine," Kyle said in a shaky, high pitched voice. It was very hard for Kyle to make words right at this minute. Kyle never did well with horror movies. It had nothing to do with the mindlessness of all the actions or the lack of a story but merely with the fact that something painful always happened to the best character. Something painful, horrible, disgusting and tragic always happened and Kyle had a problem with not being able to separate the reality from the fiction in those actions.

"Are you sure," Stan pressed on. He had put his hand on Kyle's shoulder and saw he was shaking a little.

"I'm su-"

Before Kyle could finish his sentenced the man in the sheep's head had grabbed the woman runner who wanted to be a doctor for orphans and dragged her into the house screaming. Kyle screamed, throwing his hands in the air, sending the popcorn flying and grabbed on to Stan's shoulders into a tight hug.

Stan was shocked at first but then understood what was happening and looked down at Kyle. He expected to see Kyle's face tucked into his chest and trying to block out the sound of the woman begging the man not to chop off her foot. But Kyle's eyes were staring directly at the screen. He was shaking, breathing a little heavy and his face was painted with fear; but he still watched the movie. Stan sighed and smiled a bit. He knew Kyle was stubborn in many ways, and it seemed sitting through a torture movie was somehow either a way of trying to get over being a baby with horror movies or some kind of newly discovered perverse fetish.

It was actually really amusing too. Each time something gruesome happened, a finger chopped off or a hose being stuck down their throats, Kyle's hands would squeeze into Stan's shoulders and Kyle would press in closer to Stan's chest. At one point Stan had decided to just watch Kyle because it seemed a lot more interesting than the movie. To him, this seemed like the perfect time to tease him.

"Dude," Stan said in a low whisper. "Do you think that guy's gonna try and look down in the basement?"

Kyle squeezed the fabric of Stan's jacket tighter.

"Sh-sh-shut up, Stan!" He managed to quiver out, face still turned directly toward the screen.

"I mean, I know I would but still it's-"

"You can't look down in the basement, Stan!" Kyle whispered loudly (inside voice) at Stan, looking up at his face with burning eyes. "You can't, okay! Not even if you think they're there because he'll get you then and then YOU'LL be the next victim!"

Stan looked down at Kyle then, he was quivering and shaking but Kyle still looked deadly serious. This amused the Hell out of Stan! Stan smirked at this and decided to press on.

"But what if you were down there, dude? I couldn't leave you like that-"

"Yes you can! You can't try and do something stupid to save me when you know it'll get you killed!"

"But you're my Best Friend-"

"I don't want you to die!" Kyle looked both angry and almost like he was about to cry then. "I don't care what happens to me Stan but you CAN'T die!"

Stan looked into Kyle's eyes and saw how serious he was. Sure, it was a movie that was making him freak out like this, but it was a serious statement. Stan placed a hand on Kyle's back and rubbed it gently, trying to reassure him.

"Don't worry Kyle," Stan said in a low whisper, speaking slowly and calmly while trying to bring Kyle back to reality. "I won't die, I promise."

"You can't leave me," Kyle said, pressing him nose lightly to Stan's jacket. "You can't get dragged into a torture museum by a man with a sheep's head, die and leave me."

Stan giggled a bit and patted Kyle's back.

"Okay," he whispered again, happy to see Kyle calming down. "Don't worry. I won't leave you."

Just at that Kyle turned his head back to see the movie. But it was just in another minute that the man brought out a chain saw that shrieked through the screen and caused Kyle to scream and cling tightly to Stan's chest. This time Stan had to grab Kyle by the waist in order to keep him from falling. Kyle had grabbed tightly to Stan's shoulders and pressed his face deep into his jacket, trying to block out all the noises. Stan lightly lifted Kyle up and shifted his weight so Kyle could cling comfortably to Stan while a mass murder and blood bath happened on the screen. Stan used one hand to pat Kyle's back in an effort to comfort him while the other held tightly to Kyle's waist. Stan smiled down at Kyle and decided, since he was comforting Kyle he should at least feel a little comfortable too. He laid his head in the crook of Kyle's neck and continued to watch the movie; right up until the woman runner who was escaping is shot in the back with a cross bow arrow and dragged back to the house by one leg.

· *

"Can we get a refill on popcorn please?" Stan asked Clyde while at the concessions stand after the movie ended. "Kyle threw a fit during the movie and made a bloody mess of it."

"Blood," Kyle said absent mindedly. He was REALLY freaked out at the movie that it took him a while to realize Stan had insulted him.

"Hey Kyle," Clyde asked as he looked over at Kyle. He was pretty worried given that he knew Kyle's extreme emotions to be dangerous, but THIS seemed really creepy. "You okay there?"

"No," Kyle said quickly, looking down at his shoes. "I am not okay. I will not be okay for a long time. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight without seeing that horrible… horrible sheep…. Was that what 'Silence of the Lambs' was like?"

"No, dude," Stan answered while shaking his head. "It was even worse."

Stan felt really guilty for taking Kyle to see this movie now. He should of looked up to see if what they were watching was a horror movie before taking him to see it or at least of told him that it was a scary movie when he found out. But strangely, Stan found the whole thing to be really fun. He didn't even get to see most of the movie.

"Do you really want to stay for the next movie?" Stan asked as he and Kyle got their popcorn from Clyde and walked over to the auditorium, avoiding their last seats. "We could just leave and go home, maybe walk around a while and get it out of your head."

"No… no," Kyle said, pulling up a hand in defense of himself. He had just realized how embarrassing what happened was and was blushing like crazy. "I just need to get it out my mind, you know? It's just, dude! You would think I'm old enough to handle a scary movie, you know?"

Stan sighed a little and threw his arm over Kyle's shoulder and brought him into a side hug.

"It's alright," Stan said, trying to comfort Kyle. "It was a pretty hard movie and any way, I should have known what it was. It was kind of my fault…"

Kyle felt calmer now; knowing Stan was trying to make him feel better really helped even though his self-esteem was still hurt. Kyle smiled and felt his face become less hot.

"No, it wasn't YOUR fault, dude. It was obviously all those stupid characters faults. I mean, really? How stupid are you!"

Stan smiled as they took their seats and waited for the previews to start. Once they did, Stan leaned over to Kyle's ear to whisper to him.

"And don't worry. I won't die that easily."

Stan pulled away when he noticed Kyle smile and leaned back in his seat and murmured under his breath: "I won't leave you."

The night ended smoothly with the next movie helping everyone forget the last and Kyle talking excitedly about how great Reegan was and how cool he made the Amazon seem. Kyle had also eaten his way through both his and Stan's popcorn by the end of the movie.


	4. Happy Halloween

"No, Keeny, we don't wanna listen to that crappy station!"

No one liked car rides with Eric Cartman for a reason: He is an annoying, control freaking bastard. Stan had orchestrated this entire endeavor to the microscopic point and here Cartman was making the entire car trip back a nightmare. But nothing could deter the boys away from having a whole Saturday trip to Denver in Stan's new car!

Stan's uncle Jimbo had a friend who loved collecting old, crappy cars and fixing the up. Because the guy owed him one, Jimbo was able to buy a car from him for less than half the retail price and give it to Stan. Stan was ultra-excited after school on Thursday when he walked over to his house to see a blue, completely restored Plymouth Fury lll sitting in his parents driveway with a ribbon tied around it and a sign that said : 'To Stan, be gentle'. Stan had immediately called Kyle, Kenny and Cartman over and they came up with their plan that night.

And that's why when at exactly 8:00 am when the tv announced there was a possible chance aliens would invade the Earth tonight, Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman rushed into Stan's car and set out to Denver. Of course there were 3 stops to Denver: the first so Kyle could crawl over to either the front or back to switch seats with Kenny every now and then (there were no back doors), the second for a lunch break and a third so Stan could scrape off the animals that were on the road because of how sad it was. The first thing Stan had said was that there were 5 rules to sitting and driving the car.

1. There will be no homosexual innuendos towards each other or sexual passes at each other. ("That means you Kenny.")

2. If anyone is caught drinking and does not give any to Stan they will be kicked out of the car immediately

3. Don't give Stan any alcohol (Kyle's rule)

4. We will not stop at every Starbucks we see ("Kyle, dude, you have a problem.")

5. No jacking off no matter what ("That means you Kenny.")

By the time they were driving back to South Park rules 1, 4 and possibly 5 had been broken. Kyle demanded a coffee trip every hour which made Cartman have to pee every hour. Stan refused to let Cartman pee in a bottle in his car or out the window so that lead to many, many bathroom breaks. And now, with Cartman and Kyle in the back (Kyle stunk at rock, paper, scissors) they were having another radio problem.

"No way, dude," Kenny whined. "We listened to your station all the way here, it's my turn!"

"No way! This music sucks! It's all opera crap that no one can understand 'cause it's all in French!"

"Actually, it's Italian dumb ass." Kyle commented absent mindedly. At first Kyle had hated the seating arrangement because he was either beside Cartman, which was always a disaster, or Kenny who tended to grope people when they weren't paying attention. But after their first stop at Starbucks, along with the first of many coffees, Kyle had purchased many magazines and on their trip to Denver he had also purchased many books from a second hand shop. He now separated himself from Cartman by using a small wall of books and had his attention focused on one entitled: "The debate of where and when humans were born and how they traveled over the early Earth".

"Shut up you guys," Stan growled. He actually loved driving, it was one of the most relaxing and mind numbing things next to sports, but he was getting tired of the constant fighting. "Quit it before I throw the radio out the window again."

"Oh no, Stan," Kyle said in a fake, exasperated voice much like Scarlet from 'Gone with the Wind' without once looking up from his book. "Don't you sacrifice another' one of those poor souls!"

"Yeah Stan," Kenny agreed, nodding his head violently. "What are the chances another one's gonna be thrown right into the car or on top of it or fall from the sky again?"

Stan sighed; it was pretty amazing how another radio would come out of nowhere no matter what.

"Alright, fine. But you guys have to stick with one station or else-"

"NO KEENY NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT STATION!"

Stan ripped out the radio and threw it out the window, into the highway where its life expectancy wasn't even expected to make it to the ground.

"Aw," Kyle said as he tore his attention away from his book and looked out the window. "That's the 5th one today." Kyle then went back to his book and decided a joke could help the situation. "Stan, our children are going to be very disappointed in you if you let your temper get the better of you all the time."

"Rule number 1, Kyle." Stan reminded him as he pulled his attention back to the road and smiled, happy to have no music that was either distastefully crude (Cartman's) or unbearably boring (Kenny's). "And please Darling, the children are fine. Right guys?"

"Oh God," Cartman sighed, understanding that he and Kenny were now considered the 'kids'. It was a new game Kyle and Stan had made up on the trip to Denver when they saw a family taking a road trip crash and the father started screaming at the wife as she badgered him about what a bad driver he was. "You 2 are so gay…"

"Mommy! Mommy!" Kenny said excitedly, getting into the role of the youngest son. "Can we stop at the rodeo house up the street?"

"… Which one was the mom again, Kyle?" Stan said bewildered, trying to remember if they ever did put gender roles into it.

"You were, duh." Kyle said while flipping a page, both absorbed in the book and listening to the conversation at the same time.

"No way!" Stan shouted. "I'm the one driving so I have to be the dad!"

"Yeah, but you're the sensitive one, the sensitive one is always the mom."

"But you're way more emotional than me, and you're twice as bitchy! The bitchy ones are the girls!"

Now Kyle put down the book a little and looked into the rearview mirror, where he could see Stan's eyes, angrily. Stan seemed to have forgotten how pissed off Kyle gets when being accused of being a girl.

"Well you're the one who's so vain about how he looks! Only girls are so self-conscious about that shit!"

"Me!? You're the one who's all self-conscious about his hair! You wear that hat around like it's an accessory, like a purse or nice necklace."

"Well you file your nails like a girl."

"Well I don't eat little meals and diet all the time!"

"I'm not on a diet I just don't eat that much!"

"Like a girl!"

"Damn it Stan!" Kyle was now getting red and worked up. "I will personally drag you out of this car, tie you up and hang you from a traffic light if you say I'm a girl one more time!"

There was a brief moment of silence where no one breathed. Everyone had forgotten how scary Kyle gets when he's all worked up. Both Stan and Kenny actually had freaked out/scared looks at the moment.

"Jezz," Cartman huffed, smirking. "Looks like someone's still on their period."

From the rearview mirror Stan could see Kyle chocking out Cartman with an expression near 'death bringer'. Stan sighed, pulled the car over and told everyone it was time to switch seats again. Kyle was now up front and Kenny right behind him with Cartman behind Stan. Cartman was rubbing his neck and mumbling about 'Goddamn Jews' and Kenny was giggling under his breath.

"Rule number 6?" Kyle questioned, looking half exhausted and tired from his anger out-burst. He slumped in his seat in a more comfortable position, trying to relax and gain some composure.

"Right," Stan said, now calm with his attention back on the road. "Rule number 6: no more playing pretend family while Stan is driving."

"Wrong."

"Wrong?"

"Rule number 6: Call Kyle a girl and you die."

"Is that so?"

Kyle just glared over at Stan, no words passed but Stan got the picture. Painful, horrible death if we keep teasing Kyle like that. Kyle then returned to reading his book and Cartman began to complain about how Denver sucked. Just as they got off the interstate to get on the exit for South Park a radio had launched itself through Stan's rolled down window and into Kyle's lap.

"Hey," Kyle said, smiling as he picked it up. "This one has AM, FM and a CD and cassette player!"

Damn it that was the 5th time today.

It was 7 o'clock when they got to Stan's house and the adult party was already in full swing. Randy had answered the door with a cheerful smile and invited the boys in; handing each a beer seeming to believe it was perfectly fine for the mood.

"Dude," Kyle commented as they went into the kitchen. "I've never seen these guys so drunk and loose before. Do you think they'll all get home alright?"

"I think most of them plan on passing out drunk over here for the night," Stan said while walking over to the cabinets. "That's what happened last year anyway."

The 4 of them had planned on sneaking out the liquor very quietly and discreetly, but after seeing how out of it everyone was and Kenny being handed his dad's moonshine they decided to just take as many bottles as their arms could carry up to Stan's room. Each boy ended up with 7 bottles of liquor each and carefully held them as they maneuvered up the steps to Stan's room.

"Jesus," Kenny muttered as he walked into Stan's room and kicked the door shut as the last person (Cartman) came in. "You'd think ONE of them would be sober enough to realize what we're doing?"

"That's saying one of them is smart enough to realize what any teenager would do," Kyle retorted, putting down his bottles on Stan's bed with the others. Kyle had come to the conclusion that at some point every adult in South Park had become an idiot and it was the entire town's fault.

"Hey guys, I have a better question," Cartman said cheerfully with a smile as he placed the remaining liquor on Stan's bed. "Who the fuck cares?"

Stan, Kyle and Kenny nodded in agreement; they had promptly stopped caring about the adults unless it was in a family situation years ago. The boys then turned their attention to their backpacks, which they left at Stan's, and began pulling out the clothes they were wearing for their costumes. Kyle had had to learn the hard way that a certain age kids stopped dressing up as monsters and creatures and began dressing up as people and actors. That was why the year after he was laughed at for dressing up as a mummy he began working on costumes for Ike. It was something both the boys enjoyed.

"Hey dude," Kyle said over his shoulder as he pulled out his costume. "Can I go dress in your bathroom?"

"Why?"

"Because I kind of have to undress and then get into my costume."

"Don't be shy Kyle," Kenny said, walking up behind Kyle. He put his hand under Kyle's shirt and rubbed Kyle's stomach underneath and breathed against Kyle's neck. "I don't mind seeing you naked."

In one swift motion Kyle had managed to both elbow Kenny in the ribs and then kick his feet out from under him. Kenny now lay on the floor, groaning slightly as he rubbed his side.

"Stop trying to molest me!" Kyle screamed, holding his fist threateningly.

"Stop trying to molest him in my room!" Stan said while pointing at Kyle.

"So can I molest him anywhere else?" Kenny asked innocently while cocking his head to the side.

"Sure, as long as I can't see it."

"Yay!"

"Stan!" Kyle shouted, horrified.

"Alright," Cartman stated suddenly with his loud, booming voice. "If you 3 are going to continue this faggy-love-fest I am taking all the liquor here and going to the party by mah self!"

"You couldn't carry all the liquor by yourself fat ass," Kyle retorted.

"I can carry more then you, you scrawny Jew!"

"Guys! Quit it!" Stan screamed, getting all of their attention. "Who knows how long we can keep this up before someone starts asking us questions."

"Dude," Kyle said with a bored expression. "None of them care. We'd probably be able to get away with this stuff without them having to be drunk anyway."

"Yeah, but they might start trying to drunk talk with us and ask us stuff like what we're going to do in the future and shit like that. If that happens we'll never get out of here."

All 4 of them shuttered at this and agreed silently. Kyle left and the 3 of them just pulled on random jackets or switched shirts to make up their personas. Stan put on a dark coat and combed his hair back so he looked like Robert De Niro in 'Goodfellas'. Kenny also wore a black jacket and ran a comb through his hair and said he was Leonardo De Capreo from 'Catch me if you can'. And Cartman put on a whole suit and bow tie and posed a little; to himself he was James Bond while to everyone else he was Fat Tony from the Simpsons. Kyle came back in wearing slacks, a red turtle neck and yellow tux jacket with elbow pads; still wearing his green ushanka.

The 3 of them stared baffled at Kyle until Cartman burst out laughing at him.

"Dude," Stan said while staring at Kyle. "Who are you supposed to be?"

"I'm Carl Sagan," Kyle said very matter of factly.

"Who?" Both Kenny and Stan asked in union.

Kyle sighed.

"He was an American astronomer, an astrophysicist, a cosmetologist and he helped popularized science in the '80s and '90s!"

Both boys continued to stare at him blankly and Cartman continued to laugh at him.

"You are such a nerd," Cartman shouted while pointing his finger at Kyle and laughing. "What a dork!"

Kyle clenched his fists, annoyed at Cartman for being… well, Cartman. Kyle walked over to Stan's bed and began putting bottles of liquor in his jacket pocket.

"Can we go now," Kyle growled under his breath. He wasn't looking forward to this party, he'd of rather hung out with Stan at his house and watched cheesy movies or play video games, heck, he would of rather taken his brother out trick or treating instead of having to go over to Craig's AND get laughed at by Cartman.

"Yeah," Stan said, picking up bottles along with Cartman and Kenny. The entire time Cartman made snide remarks about Kyle looking like a dork and being a nerd and Kyle just rolled his eyes and called him a fat ass. Kyle knew he was a nerd, no new news. He didn't particularly care about being thought of as a nerd, after all, he thought he was a nerd too. As they left Stan's room Kenny playfully smacked Kyle's ass, causing him to 'yelp', and leaned in to whisper into his ear.

"You're a hot nerd too," Kenny said while grinning. This time Stan punched Kenny in the shoulder as they walked out of the house and down the street. Craig's place wasn't too far away and Stan knew that later tonight he wouldn't be able to drive.

"Protecting your man," Kenny teased as he rubbed his shoulder. Both Stan and Kyle rolled their eyes at this, but Kyle couldn't help but look over at Stan as Kenny said that.

· *

They were 2 hours late when they arrived at the door step of Craig's house. From the inside the gang could hear loud dance music and see multiple people dancing, chatting and a keg.

"Looks like they already have beer," Kyle said absent mindedly, mildly hoping that could possibly keep them all from having to go into the party.

"Yeah," Stan said. But then he opened his coat to flash the multiple bottles of liquor and smiled. "But they don't have the good stuff."

When Cartman "knocked", more like banged his fist against the door, Token answered and smiled at the guys. Token was a really nice guy, in and out of school, and enjoyed having Stan and Kyle around.

"Hey guys," Token said with a smile, he was slightly buzzed. "Come on in! Craig's at the stereo system. Get this: the entire upstairs is empty. He said it was for 'couples only' if you get my drift?"

Token winked and both Stan and Kenny laughed while Kyle rolled his eyes. Of course everyone got the drift.

"I mean every room except Craig's." Token quickly added as he shut the door. "Dude, what are you guys smiling about?"

Stan, Cartman and Kenny looked at each other excited and opened their jackets to show Token the bottles of liquor they had stashed. Stan shoved Kyle a little so that Kyle would follow suit and look like a flasher when he was just showing Token the hidden bottles. At first Token looked stunned but then he cracked into a wide grin and slapped Stan on the back with a laugh.

"Man, this is great!" Token shouted out and then turned to his side. "Hey, Craig! Come over here man!"

Craig turned away from Clyde, Red and Mizzie to see Token motioning him over to him. As he walked over he saw Stan, Kenny, Cartman and… Kyle. Craig had stopped dead center, 5 steps away from them, when he saw Kyle. The past week he had been guilty of looking over that note that landed to him in class over and over again like it was an obsession. He was constantly contemplating what it was and why he got it. He was also embarrassed that just 2 days ago he found himself jerking off while reading the note in bed. Stunned at first, Craig regained some composure and dignity. He avoided meeting eyes with Kyle and stared directly at Stan.

"What," Craig questioned in a tone that was a little annoyed, actually hiding over his actual embarrassed tone. "I didn't invite them… I mean, I didn't say you could bring Kyle with you Stan."

"Gee, thanks Craig," Kyle said in a blank tone. "Thanks for pretending I'm not here. My 'ghost-of-Carl-Sagan' costume sure must impress you."

"Who?" Craig questioned while looking over at Kyle. At first he thought Kyle was making fun of him so he thought he should look at him. But when he did he was met by Kyle's emerald green glare and a slight pout on his face. Craig felt his stomach flip and knees shake. His head went a little light and he felt a bit panicked. He jerked his head away and stared at Stan again, freaked out by what just happened.

"So, wh-what are guys doing here anyway?"

Stan opened his jacket again to show Craig the liquor. Craig looked at the bottles and nodded his head a bit, he was impressed. He was also relieved because he knew his kegs wouldn't last much longer and he only had one more.

"How much do you guys have?"

"About 28 different bottles," Kenny said, cocking a grin and nodding his head. Craig caught Kenny staring at him and smirking but then Kenny redirected his attention to a group of girls.

"Where should be put all this shit," Cartman complained while holding them. "My arms are getting tired."

"Then you should stop being such a fat slob and work out more," Craig counter without even looking at him. He heard Kyle snicker and felt his heart begin to flutter. How was Kyle doing this to him? Craig turned his attention back to Stan. "J-Just take it all into the kitchen. There're some sodas and juices and shit in there to mix the stuff up with."

"Thanks man," Stan said while patting Craig on the back. Stan then turned to the kitchen with Kyle and Cartman on his heels. Craig noticed how Kyle was right beside Stan with their shoulders almost touching and their arms lolling about. He thought about how close those 2 usually were together. How they sat beside each other each class or used the same locker or were usually dressing out right next to each other. With that thought Craig then thought about Kyle undressing, how he hardly did it in front of other people or how he hardly ever took off his hat. Craig wondered if Stan had seen what Kyle's hair looks like under his hat?

"Kyle's ass sure looks great tonight, huh Craig?"

Craig jolted in panic and turned around to see Kenny smirking at him. Kenny had always been that way to Craig, just a weird, perverted guy who made sexual jokes all the time; not a bad guy all and all. But Craig now felt flushed and embarrassed. He was bright red and breathing a little funny.

"Dude," Kenny said with a laugh. "I didn't actually think you thought that! Woah!"

"Sh-shut up," Craig stuttered out, looking from side to side to make sure no one had heard him. "I-I didn't think that- I mean I wasn't thinking that- no wait! I mean I wasn't thinking about Kyle like that! Not that I would be thinking about him at all!"

Kenny just crossed his arms and shook his head from side to side.

"Dude, seriously, weak. I mean, it's so obvious."

"Wh-what…" Craig's stomach dropped.

"I mean, sure, I saw all those looks you've been giving him and how red you get. But again, those could all be explained as coincidences. But now here-"

Craig grabbed Kenny by the collar of his shirt. His face changed from his usual dull look to one of deadly seriousness.

"Look," Craig started. He was embarrassed and more than freaked out. "I don't know what you're thinking about but get this: I'm not gay. And more than that, if you even think about telling anyone about this then-"

"Let me guess," Kenny said with a slight grin, completely un-phased by Craig's threats or actions. "The school's runner back is going to beat my ass because he tells someone he knows the guy's got a little crush on the school's favorite basketball nerd."

Craig blushed. This was the first time Craig had understood he had an actual crush on Kyle. He had never actually connected the dots. In his mind he thought what he was thinking and feeling was weird so he tried not to dwell on it and just secretly think about it. Now he was looking down at his shoes, still holding up Kenny, worried that something like this would do… something. He didn't really know, he was just freaked out.

"Dude, calm down." Kenny said with a sigh, putting his hands up in a relaxed, calm way. Craig looked up at him intrigued. "I get it, I think Kyle's got a sexy little ass too-"

"I do not think-"

"Yes you do." Kenny said matter of factly while pointing his finger. "Maybe not entirely yet but, yeah. You're attracted to him. And hey, I get it. Everyone is a little attracted to someone in their gender in a way and you're just hot for Kyle."

Craig looked away for a moment and then looked up at Kenny.

"This is really fucking creepy," Craig admitted. "I hated the shit 2 weeks ago but now… Now I just get all nervous and bunched up, and just last night I…. I kind of-"

"Jerked off to a picture of him?"

Craig stared at Kenny surprised. "How did you know?"

Kenny shrugged his shoulders. "I've never jerked off to a picture of Kyle exactly, but I have to gay porn. And yeah, I get it, the guy's hot in the skinny-indie boy way that makes him look like a college kid who smokes weed and listens to Bob Marely. But in an actual cool kind of way instead of a poser who thinks smoking weed makes you bad ass and listening to Bob Marely because he's Bob Marely is cool. No, scratch that, he's like the college kid who smokes weed 'cause he likes it and listens to Jazz because he likes that shit too."

"Dude, you lost me here. Why the fuck do I have to listen to you characterize him?"

"I'm getting to it, I'm getting to it!" Kenny put his hands up in defense. "What I'm saying is: It's alright to be attracted to Kyle because he's an attractive guy. In both looks and personality, he's pretty much hot stuff to anybody."

Craig looked away. "But he's a guy…"

"And?" Kenny questioned before sighing. "Look dude, I don't care if you wanna deny this all you want. You wanna know what I think? I think Kyle's an awesome friend and hot-as-shit. What I think you think about him? I think you're super attracted to him for some reason or another. Whether it be because he's hot or you like that he's smart or he's kind of cool, I don't know. I'll let you go about your business because it ain't any of my business, and keep my mouth shut about yours because I kind of want to keep all of my teeth."

Craig seemed to think for a minute. Craig wasn't stupid, and he knew Kenny wasn't a dick like Cartman who would just run off at the mouth because a situation made him feel superior about himself for some reason.

"You swear you won't tell anyone," Craig asked. His voice seemed a little shacky, shy and nervous. After all, he just had Kenny admit for him that he had a crush on Kyle.

"Dude, I swear on my ever fresh grave that I won't tell a soul," Kenny said with a smile that made Craig breathe a sigh of relief. "Now ah…. could you put me down now dude?"

-at that same time in the kitchen-

Stan, Kyle and Cartman had placed all the liquor on the table in the middle of the kitchen. As they did all the people in the kitchen had cheered for them as they slid each bottle from their jackets and onto the table. 2 guys were patting Stan on the back while another high fived Cartman and Kevin caught Kyle in a playful head lock. Kyle noted how it was mostly the football players who seemed the most grateful.

Token had come in, high fiving Stan and slapping Kyle on the back, and started taking out bottles of soda and juices and putting them on the table along with red plastic cups.

"For the girls," Token said as he sat down a carton of strawberry juice with little cartoons printed on the front of it. "Since they can't handle the hard stuff without it."

"Not us dude," Stan said as he pulled out 4 cups. Stan reached over and grabbed the vodka bottle and poured each cup a quarter of the way full. He handed one to Kyle, Token and Cartman and held his up. "To… dude, what should we make this toast to?"

"I dunno man," Token said while shrugging. "We don't have to have one."

"No dude, we need a toast. Otherwise this is just 4 guys drinking the first sips of vodka in plastic cups with no meaning behind it."

"You are so gay, Stan," Cartman said while holding his drink, eager to down it all now.

"How about," Kyle began while thinking, his eyes rolling to the celling while he searched his mind until he brought them back down and looked at Stan. "To the Pagan God's and America's fucked up minds to make their ancient rituals into money making schemes and reasons to get people drunk off their asses?"

Token shrugged and Stan nodded his head and then broke out into a wide smile.

"Yeah!" Stan shouted with Token as they, along with Cartman, pulled their heads back and drank the contents in the cup in one fellow gulp. Kyle just stood there and watched them until they brought their heads back and 'whooped' as the fiery liquid scorched their throats and left behind a rubbery taste. Token waved by as he left the table to continue talking to another group of people.

"Dude," Stan said with a laugh. "You didn't drink it."

"Yeah," Kyle said, looking down at his drink and moving the liquid around. In truth he was a little scared to start drinking. He had seen Stan have some problems with it and they all went through a weird drug and alcohol episode in middle school and he didn't feel comfortable around the stuff. Of course he was interested but didn't feel enticed to really try it. "I guess I just… don't know how…"

"Pussy," Cartman said as he poured himself another drink.

"Oh go and choke on it you fat asshole."

"Hey! I have a license to kill here and you will respect my authoritah!"

"No you don't, ass hole! You don't even look like James Bond! You look like some washed up, fat comedian who can't gigs anymore!"

"You know what Kahl? Screw you- I'm goin' to each some nachos."

Cartman left the 2 of them and Kyle rolled his eyes.

"I wonder what he would of done if I said a fat JEWISH comedian?"

It always did amuse Kyle that most good comedians were Jewish.

"He probably would have tried to kill you horribly when you were asleep." Stan said and then turned his attention to Kyle. "C'mon Kyle, I know this isn't really your thing but dude, it's a party. Loosen up a little dude! Otherwise you're going to be bored out of your mind while you're here."

Kyle rolled his eyes at Stan at this.

"So basically, I need to be drunk because this party is lame and only alcohol will make it better?"

"No dude, you need to be drunk because ALL these parties are lame and only alcohol makes them better. You remember how boring Token's party was before everyone got drunk?"

Kyle vaguely remembered that party. Everyone except him was drunk within 20 minutes after the party had started an hour earlier and he had to cart Stan's ass home 30 minutes later because Wendy had broken up with him and he was afraid what Stan would do.

"No, I don't. I was too busy holding your hair behind your head while you threw up in your dad's shoes because you were too drunk to make it to the upstairs toilet."

Stan rubbed the back of his head embarrassed. He also remembered some of that night; it was one of those memories that were too embarrassing to forget.

"Look dude," Stan said cautiously. "I understand if you're scared to do this. I mean, I've been shit faced before but tonight I'm not gonna be shit faced! I'll have a little liquor and drink a beer or 2 and just get really buzzed. And you don't HAVE to get drunk either dude! You can just get a light buzz and then you can stop!"

Kyle glanced down at his drink suspiciously.

"I don't have to… do anything weird, right?" Kyle asked cautiously. Kyle had really never drunk any liquor before. The worst he's done is drink a beer when he was in 8th grade and he hated it because of the taste.

"No dude," Stan said while smiling. He stepped behind Kyle and placed his hand over Kyle's. "You just tip the whole thing back and drink the entire thing in one gulp. It's easy man."

Kyle blushed a little. He suddenly felt hot and his hand under Stan's suddenly felt all tingly, like static jumping over his skin and tickling his nerves nervously. Kyle realized this and felt embarrassed, he was now really embarrassed at Stan's hand being on top of his and threw his hand back so his cup met his lips and he tipped back the entire drink in one fellow swoop. The drink fell on the back of his tongue splashed and burned as it slid down his throat any down into his stomach. Kyle's gag reflex kicked in and Kyle leaned forward and gasped, dropping his cup and gasping for cool air.

Stan leaned forward and rubbed Kyle's back as Kyle grabbed for the table. Stan was asking if Kyle was okay and reassuring him he did a good job for his first try.

"Teaching the newbie how to drink?" Kenny asked as he waltzed into the kitchen all the sudden and placed the liquor on the table. Stan had just realized that Kenny wasn't with them the entire time but then redirected his attention back on Kyle, who was now straightening up and finished coughing.

"Yeah," Stan said, still rubbing Kyle back but now in a slow manner from the top of Kyle's shoulder to the small of his back. Stan was slightly lost in how Kyle's body arched, he could see the shape of it from under his coat and remembered how Kyle's back was always so flexible and strong on his small frame. When Stan caught himself dong this he immediately stopped and jerked his hand back to his side. "Umm, yeah. But I don't think he's ready for this stuff."

"Shut up," Kyle said while blushing. It was kind of humiliating that he couldn't drink like Stan; it was something that made him feel really separated the 2 of them.

"Well then," Kenny said with a grin as he grabbed a bottle of rum and the liter of coke. "Grandma McCormick has just the drink for you!"

"You're not gonna make me some fruity girly drink are you?" Kyle asked as he watched Kenny.

"Nope."

"You're not gonna slip me some date rape drug like GHB are you?" Kyle asked as he now looked intently at Kenny's hands, serious and hawk like. Even Stan cast his gaze over to Kennys hands and watched for his pockets.

"No, dude!" Kenny shouted, a little insulted. But then he saw a playful grin on Kyle's lips and softened up. "Look, this stuff is easier to drink than vodka and a whole lot better tasting than just mixing liquor and water together."

Kenny thrust a drink in front of Kyle and placed it in front of him. "Rum and Coke."

Kyle picked up the drink and sniffed it. "Do I have to drink it all in one gulp like the vodka?"

"No dude," Kenny waved his hand as he reached for the bottle of vodka. "You can just sip at it like a sissy and chat while you drink it. It's supposed to taste good AND gets you drunk."

Kyle glared at Kenny but decided to take a gulp. It did feel a lot better going down and didn't have the hot-tar flavor that followed.

"How is it?" Stan questioned while putting a hand on Kyle's shoulder.

Kyle smiled a little and nodded his head. "Not bad dude, not bad at all."

"See," Kenny said with a smirk and downed the vodka and started pouring himself a cup out of a jug that was on the table. "Once you get a little better at this you can start drinking this hard stuff right here." Kenny held up the bottle. "Moonshine."

Both Kyle and Stan rolled their eyes but the 3 of them kept drinking. Kenny played the role of bartender, making different drinks for Kyle to try out to see which one was to his liking. Kyle was strangely fond of screw drivers and kept asking for more of those. It took them 15 minutes but Kyle was now slapping other people's backs and laughing along with the strange jokes they made no sense. Kenny even slapped Kyle's ass once and all Kyle did was slap Kenny's back, making all 3 of them laugh. It was like a perfect guy's-night where all they did was drink and joke around. And then God decided to end that crap.

"Stan!" Wendy exclaimed as she came into the kitchen. Stan looked over surprised and managed a smile when Wendy ran over and wrapped her arms around Stan in a joyful embrace. "I didn't know when you'd get here!"

"Well," Stan said with a laugh, getting his balance back. "Here I am!"

Stan had a nice buzz going on and Wendy was obviously tipsy, she was never known as one who drank so she probably just drank a little here and there and forgot when to stop. Kyle rolled his eyes as he saw Wendy giggle hysterically; not understanding what was so funny. Then Wendy boosted herself up and full on kissed Stan and Kyle gasped a little. He looked to the side only to look back and see the 2 of them smiling and laughing again. For some reason Kyle could feel himself getting angry all of a sudden.

"Oh, Kyle," Wendy said surprised as she saw Kyle. Kyle felt himself get aggravated, thinking if Wendy had thought he was invisible or something. "You're here too? I guess you and Craig made up then. Oh! You're Carl Sagan! How cool!"

"Yep," Kyle said with something that could pass for enthusiasm but seemed very dry and dull. "And you, you kind of look like some 80's Go-Go dancer."

Wendy blushed and nodded her head. "It was Bebe'd idea."

"I think it's cute," Stan said which made Wendy smile and hug him again. Kyle frowned. He didn't think it was cute. He actually thought it looked like a plastic dress with platform stripper shoes. She looked like a raver from the Jetson's to him. Stan and Wendy chit chatted about something that Kyle couldn't hear. When Kyle caught himself trying to listen he blushed and tried to focus on Wendy's shoes. They weren't interesting, they kept him from eavesdropping, something he hated people doing to him but seemed totally appropriate to do to other people. Especially in the case of Stan.

"We're gonna go mingle," Stan said quickly. Kyle then realized Stan and Wendy had gotten to the "we" phase like when a couple starts saying "we like that place" or "we don't hang out with those people". Kyle then remembered how he and Stan would say "we like going here" or "we don't like it when Cartman does this". Kyle's thoughts were a little jumbled now but he still managed to smile and wave 'bye' as Stan and Wendy walked out of the kitchen, holding each other by the arms like a couple.

"Wait," Kyle thought to himself. "Of course they look like a couple. They are a couple! They've been acting that way since 3rd grade dude! They've always made little "we" remarks and go places together, this is normal. But still… it really pisses me off."

Kyle growled inaudibly under his breath and turned to Kenny.

"I need something stronger." Kyle demanded as he gave Kenny his cup.

"You sure?" Kenny asked both surprised and suspicious. Kyle may be a tough kid and one to rush things but Kenny wasn't sure rushing into drinking was a good idea.

"Completely. Come on Momma bear, I need a big drink."

Kenny giggled at this. Kyle had never been one to joke around like that, and if he did it was because it was some sort of inside joke between him and Stan. But now, Kyle was playing along and loosening up hard core. Kenny decided to get fancy while his mind was focused enough to keep recipes straight. He had had decided to mix 2 drinks he knew would be good: Black Russian and a Zombie Cocktail.

Kyle downed each one fast. Kenny stared at him with wide eyes. Kyle was known for being a pretty tough, albeit little, shit but this sort of scared him. But then he saw Kyle's shoulders droop and a smile spread across his face. Kyle turned to Kenny and had a big old smile, like he was the happiest man in the world.

"We should drink tonight," Kyle said. His words were quick and a little mushed together but he still managed to speak properly. "You and me. Let's drink all night long!"

"Okay," Kenny laughed while pouring them both a cup of moonshine, not really thinking anything other than it would be funny as shit to see Kyle really drunk. He had been wondering what that looked like. "How about I also take you upstairs, get us both naked and see what happens then?"

"Okay."

Kenny looked up and stared at Kyle shocked. Kyle just reached over and began sipping the drink Kenny had poured for him. At first he made a disgusted face but then Kyle just went back to sipping the moonshine again.

"You really would dude?" Kenny said cautiously. He slowed his words, making sure they both understood. "You and me. Both our pants off. Probably some heavy making out and at least one of us on our knees for each other at a time?"

"Yeah dude." Kyle said. Actually, Kyle slurred. He was smiling and swaying a bit. "You and me, all night long. Let's forget about the party, I wanna have sum fun!"

Kenny looked blank. Let us understand this: Was Kenny both turned on and excited by this? Yes. Would he jump at this chance and drag Kyle upstairs at any time if given the chance? Oh God yeah. Was he going to tonight? No.

"Dude," Kenny said with a worried look on his face. "You're drunk."

"'Course I am!" Kyle said, smiling.

Kenny sighed and shook his head.

"Dude, I love you. And because I love you, I'm not gonna fuck you tonight."

"Wha?" Kyle asked while swaying a little. "Why not?"

"Because dude, as much as I want to, and believe me I really, REALLY, want to. The fact is you're drunk. And it wouldn't be cool to do that while drunk."

Kyle frowned a little and nodded his head, he suddenly felt angry again.

"Fine," he barked out in his naturally high pitched voice. "Who needs you anyway! I'ma go and have fun all night by myself!"

Kyle walked out of the kitchen; he swayed a little, but still walked out and dodged people as masterfully as ever. Kenny sighed and sipped at his drink. Now he was worried at the possible shenanigans a drunk Kyle could get into. While he was thinking he wondered why Kyle would suddenly want to get drunk and became all vulnerable all of a sudden. Not coming up with anything soon enough Kenny took another drink. He figured he'd figure it out eventually.

Craig saw Kyle leaning against the wall of the stairway, a dumb smile planted on his lips and his eyes looking like they were focusing on something for too long. Kyle looked like he was having a grand, fucking time. Giggling, swaying and waving every now and then Kyle looked like the exact opposite of the high strung nerdy kid he naturally was. He was more than obviously drunk, it was almost insulting.

"Heeey," Kyle slurred and waved as Red and Heidi passed, waving back and giggling at Kyle's obvious condition. No one had seen Kyle drunk before, and it was as shocking as seeing a train crash. Craig sneered a little at this, it was unseemly and humiliating. What had happened to the cool, stoic and angsty nerd that Craig had an inner love-hate relationship with.

Craig felt his stomach curl inwards again. The feeling came whenever he thought about Kyle too long and to end the aching he decided to chug the rest of his beer. That was number 5. Craig felt his head get a little lighter and felt he could breathe a little easier. He also knew that he should slow down, 7 was his limit and if he went over that he knew he wouldn't remember doing something he'd regret when he woke up in the afternoon. But he felt better, much better. So much better that he decided to walk over to Kyle and figure out if what he had was a crush or if he should beat the shit out of Kenny for no apparent reason. Craig walked over to Kyle who didn't notice him until Craig was in front of him, staring down at Kyle who was a few inches shorter than him.

"Hey," Craig said as he looked over Kyle. Craig could feel his stomach curl and he nervously rubbed his left arm with his right hand, trying to relax. "How… How're you doing? You like the… party?"

Kyle smiled but Craig knew it wasn't one of Kyle's real smiles. It was a smile you gave someone who was annoying but really nice, like an aunt who you didn't know who came in town once every few years and smelt kind of like mint candy.

"I feel great!" Kyle exclaimed. Craig noticed how Kyle talked a little fast but could see he was trying to be composed. It was kind of cute, seeing Kyle trying to be superior and all-knowing while drunk. "This is great Craig! So great!"

Craig actually had to keep himself from laughing. Kyle was smiling uncontrollably and giggled every now and then, completely different from usual. Yet still very likable. Now he just seemed very sweet and, to Craig's own shock, comfortable. To test this theory Craig touched Kyle's cheek. Craig's own heart raced and he could feel himself heating up as he touched Kyle's pale, soft skin. Craig's fingers just lightly brushed Kyle's cheek but he could still feel himself blush like crazy from the contact. And to his surprise, Kyle didn't push him away.

Instead, Kyle grabbed Craig's hand and held it in his own a little. Kyle was smiling still but in a confused sort of manner. Kyle knew he didn't particularly like Craig, only because Craig didn't seem to like Kyle either. But now Craig was being nice, a strange sort of nice but nice still. Also, to Kyle's surprise, he felt the attention from Craig made him feel a little better. Just a minute ago he had caught a glimpse of Stan and Wendy talking to other people while holding each other's hands. In that moment Kyle felt a rush of emotions he couldn't quite understand. It was like a mixture of anger, jealousy, sadness and betrayal that left Kyle feeling awkward and exposed.

Kyle held Craig's hand; Craig's hand was a little bigger and more calloused than his own. The mere contact with Craig seemed to help Kyle, like a reassuring feeling swept over him that he wasn't alone. Kyle stepped forward but found his feet were just as dizzy as his head and Kyle wobbled forward until he crashed into Craig's shoulder.

Craig caught Kyle in a quick hug to keep them from falling backwards. When Craig looked down he saw Kyle's head resting against his shoulder and his body pressed close against his and Craig's face lit up. He felt light and panicked, he could feel sweat on the back of his neck and his mouth go a little dry.

"Umm," Craig started as he looked down at Kyle. "Do… Do you wanna go lie down? I can take you to my room, I mean, if you think you can make it up the stairs…"

"Yeah," Kyle said while pressing his forehead against Craig's shoulders. He felt dizzy and confused yet he liked having Craig hold him. His arms were strong and when they were wrapped around his shoulders he felt warmer. They reminded him of Stan's.

Craig helped Kyle up the stairs with an arm around his shoulder and Kyle still holding his hand. He thanked God when he saw no one in the hallway and easily opened his door and helped Kyle into his room. Craig's room was always pretty messy. He had his gerbil in its cage on his desk and multiple posters of movies and sports teams on his wall. Clothes and homework littered the floor and Craig suddenly blushed, feeling embarrassed about the state of his room. He remembered Kyle being the kind of kid who was a real neat freak and organized everything.

"Sorry about the mess," Craig said as he shut the door slightly and then helped Kyle sit on his blue covered bed. Kyle sat at the top of the bed and leaned on the back board while Craig sat at the bottom.

"I like your room," Kyle said while smiling. He felt light and tingly all of a sudden. He then remembered Stan and how he had ditched him for Wendy and his smile went away. Kyle leaned his head against the bed post and looked over at Craig. "Why do you wear that hat all the time?"

"My hat?" Craig tried thinking about that, not really realizing he was usually wearing his blue, poofy hat. "I dunno, it just feels nice I guess. Why? Why do you always wear your hat?"

Kyle blushed and tugged at the ear warmers, pulling the hat down a little.

"'Cause my hair's a mess… It makes me look stupid…"

"Can I see?"

"See what?" Kyle stopped tugging on his hat to see Craig staring at him. Craig blushed as he realized what he just said.

"Ummm, I wanna see how you look without your hat on… Can I see?"

Kyle smiled at this but then pulled on one of the strings on Craig's hat.

"Not if you don't take off yours."

Craig quickly reached up and pulled off his hat. Craig and Stan usually had the same haircut but Craig's black hair was thinner and slightly shorter than Stan's. Craig put the hat down beside him and looked over at Kyle, now really eager.

"Okay," he said quickly. "Now you have to take off yours."

Kyle giggled at this. All of a sudden he thought he was playing a game. He held onto the ear warmers again and pulled his hat down over his eyes.

"Nuh uh," Kyle said while giggling again, he felt like he was hiding all of a sudden.

Craig growled at this and moved over so he was right in front of Kyle and grabbed the ear warmers. In one motion Craig leaned forward and quickly pulled off Kyle hat and held it in his hands. Kyle looked up and, searching for his missing hat, and then looked at Craig and smiled.

"Opps," Kyle said while giggling again. "You won!"

Craig blushed as he stared at Kyle. Kyle's hair was a mess of red curls that spread around his head and framed his face. It completely contrasted with Kyle's pale skin and bright green eyes, and then Craig looked at Kyle's lips. He realized they weren't small and full like a girls, but they weren't thin and long like he imagined all boy's lips were. They were a soft, tannish-pink color and the bottom one looked round and soft. Craig felt himself lean in closer to Kyle. He felt Kyle breath tickle his nose and the skin in between his upper lip and nose. Craig closed his eyes and turned his head a little and then pressed his lips against Kyle's. He felt the brush of their skin sent shocks of electricity through his face and down his neck and he pressed against Kyle's lips a little harder.

Kyle didn't know exactly what was happening. He felt someone kissing him. He thought it was Craig, he remembered sitting there with Craig and joking around with him but then his mind wandered over to Stan. He remembered Stan hanging out with Wendy, he saw Stan and Wendy hold hands. He then remembered seeing Stan and Wendy kiss. Kyles mind moved slowly, he felt something at the bottom of his stomach twist in a tight knot and something behind his eyes because wet. No… wait, he thought about Stan kissing Wendy. But then he thought about it more and saw it differently. Stan was kissing Kyle. It was Stan who was pressing his lips against Kyle's!

Kyle closed his eyes and creped one his arms around Craig's shoulders, pulling him in a little as Kyle leaned back more comfortably. Craig felt hot all of a sudden. He was surprised and ecstatic at the same time. He wrapped an arm around Kyle waist and bit Kyle's lower lip. Kyle groaned in strange mixture of pain and pleasure and felt Craig slide his tongue into his open mouth. Craig could taste different kinds of juice and an all-around flavor of liquor in Kyle's mouth, but he didn't care. He was holding Kyle and kissing him, he could feel Kyle pressed against his body and he heard Kyle moan against his tongue and breath heavier. Craig could feel himself get a little hard at this and continued kissing Kyle, turning his head for better access and leverage against Kyle.

Craig slid one of his hands down to the bottom of Kyle's turtle neck and slid it up, under the shirt and felt Kyle's skin. Kyle moaned against Craig's lips, feeling the contact of Craig's fingers to his bare skin and Craig smiled. He separated their lips and began to nip at the exposed skin under Kyle's jaw and listed to Kyle groan and felt him squirm a little. Craig's teeth nipped sharply as he pulled at Kyle's skin and licked at the exposed skin. Kyle gasped and moaned as Craig made his way to the side of Kyle's face. Kyle's mind was pretty much blank at this point, he couldn't figure out what was going on except that someone was making him feel good, really good. Craig pulled his hand out from underneath Kyle's shirt and used it to pull the fabric away from Kyle's neck and exposed his bare skin. Craig bent forward and began biting and sucking at Kyle's neck, feeling encouraged by Kyle's new moans and sighs. Kyle made so many new sounds that Craig hadn't heard him do before, it excited him and made him want to go for more.

Somewhere near the middle of Kyle's neck Craig found a patch of skin that made Kyle gasp out loudly and crane his neck back. Craig smirked at this reaction and focused his attention back on that spot. Craig ran his tongue over the soft, sensitive skin and blew cool air on it. Kyle began to breathe a little harder and soft groans escaped his throat as he felt Craig tease his neck like that. Craig then began to bite down and suck hard on the skin and Kyle began to moan out loudly. Craig's heart beat faster as he continued, Kyle encouraging his advances and his own blood rushing faster.

-down stairs-

Wendy and Stan were holding hands still. It was something Stan felt was an amazing feeling. Wendy's warm hand in his, her body pressed to his side and her head leaning against his shoulder. Stan smoothed Wendy's hair out away from her face and kissed the top of her head. She always seemed very delicate but was usually very loud and independent. He liked having her rely on him for something.

Wendy looked up at Stan and stood on her tip-toes to kiss him. Stan held the back of Wendy's head to keep her steady and so they could deepen their kiss.

"Let's go upstairs," Wendy breathed out as they parted, breathing heavier. "I don't like making out in front of other people."

Stan nodded his head and blushed a little. He hadn't drunk much but could tell Wendy had drank more than she was used to. He didn't want to do anything to Wendy that they might regret later, but he didn't feel that just making out and cuddling would be going too far.

Stan nodded his head in agreement and the 2 of them quietly snuck upstairs, neither wanted anyone to see them for fear of being laughed at. When they reached the upstairs standing Wendy giggled and grabbed onto Stan's neck and kissed his cheek.

"I'll go look for an open room," she whispered as she walked down the hall. Stan blushed as she left, Wendy had never been so forward before, usually they both just went with the flow and didn't try to press anything. Stan liked that, he liked the feeling of having no particular rush to go out and do anything with Wendy.

As Stan festered a little in the same spot he heard something coming from the door near him. He turned to see that the door was left slightly ajar, like someone hadn't shut it all the way. Stan wasn't really thinking that there was anything peculiar about it, but then he heard a deep moan and the sound of someone banging their head against something. Stan blushed and felt his heart beat a little faster. Was someone getting… busy up here? Stan thought it was weird, the idea of someone getting a little too… playful in someone else's room. Stan saw Wendy was taking her time and he crept near the door. He felt like such a creeper. He leaned in closer to listen and the next sound he heard was more moaning. The moans were deep and husky, so it was a guy.

Stan guessed the guy might be getting a blow job and he blushed. It really wasn't any of his business, so why was he listening? He heard the guy moan again and then realized the pitch sounded familiar. It was a little high and had a screech like quality to it, sort of commanding yet annoyed. It was Kyle's voice! Stan was a little shocked; he didn't picture Kyle as the kind of guy who just hooked up with girls randomly. More than that, Stan was shocked he was still listening! Stan blushed and fidgeted a little, he couldn't believe he was listening to his friend moan while he stood out in the hallway. Yet, Stan couldn't tear his ear away from the door. He listened carefully, taking in the strange sounds. It wasn't like Kyle to make sounds like that. They sounded so exaughsted and he sounded so submissive. Stan blushed at the thought of what Kyle's face must look like, Kyle must be red all over with his eyes closed looking half embarrassed and half excited.

Kyle made another moan but this one was different, Stan could hear his breath quickening a little and something of a struggle to keep the sounds in. Stan wondered what exactly was happening. He stepped forward a little and pushed the door open, he didn't find this too weird; after all, it was just Kyle. He had seen Kyle in many different ways. But what Stan saw was nothing less than a shock.

Kyle was leaning against a bed post, head cocked to the side, sweating and breathing hard, and one of his arms wrapped around someone's neck. His nails were clenched in the guy's shoulder like he was using him as a support beam. Stan then realized that the guy was… a guy! His hand was pulling down Kyle's turtle neck while he sucked at Kyle's neck and the other was around Kyle's waist, pulling him closer.

Wendy walked up behind Stan; she had found a room and was embarrassed. She didn't quite know what she was doing but she was doing it anyway. When she tugged on Stan's arm and whispered his name Stan stiffened a little, but then grabbed her and and began to pull her down the steps.

"I don't think this was a good idea," he said quickly as they walked down fast and entered the room. Token and a few others caught them coming down and cheered. Cartman looked over from the couch and walked up to Stan. He thought the whole Stan and Wendy situation was weird, it didn't really piss him off that they were dating but more toward the fact it pissed him off how much Stan moaned and complained over her.

"What's up, Ho?" Cartman said as he looked at Wendy. "Suck Stan off and get pissy?"

"Fuck off Cartman," Stan said quickly and quietly. Cartman noticed Stan wasn't holding Wendy as close as before and that Stan was looking around everywhere, like he was trying to find something. It was weird, from looking at Wendy, who wasn't blushing or embarrassed or anything but looking pretty worried, he knew they hadn't done anything more sexual than stick their tongues in each other's mouths.

"She say 'no' to you Stan?" Cartman laughed a little. But he saw Stan still look around until he realized what Cartman asked and said 'no'. Cartman was now getting pissed off. For some reason Stan was acting weird and Wendy was worried and that meant there was blackmail material somewhere that Cartman didn't know about.

-upstairs-

Craig heard the shuffling of feet go down the stairs and he quickly separated himself from Kyle's neck. He freaked out at the idea that someone could have seen. He looked at his door and saw t was opened slightly and his heart began to race.

Kyle groaned and looked confused up at Craig. He still was a bit confused at what had happened but knew that had stopped feeling very good. Craig then jumped up and breathed in a sigh, he tried to calm down. He tried to think that no one would know what would have happened. He'd just sneak Kyle down the stairs and put him somewhere where people would just think nothing was out of the ordinary. Craig then looked down at himself. Damn it… he was hard.

It was more than kind of obvious too. As Kyle sat up, rubbing his head, feeling dizzy and a little sick, Craig went over to his closet and pulled out a trench coat. He slipped it on and looked down to study himself. Perfect. It completely hid his erection. Craig pulled on his hat, grabbed Kyle's hat and coaxed Kyle to stand up. Craig pulled Kyle up and to him with an arm wrapped around his waist and wrapped one of Kyle's arms around his shoulder to balance him. Walking out of the room was easy enough; it was the getting down the stairs that proved to be difficult.

Kyle was really dizzy and moving was proving to be hard for him. His head lolled about, either hanging down or pressing into Craig's shoulder. Craig was now worried Kyle would pass out randomly and fall down. How was he gonna cover THAT up?

-back downstairs-

"Um, where's Kyle?" Stan asked Cartman as he scanned the room.

"How the fuck should I know?" Cartman retorted with a huff. He was getting tired of Stan always clinging to Kyle, it was kind of creepy to him. "That fag's probably with Kenny somewhere."

"Don't talk about him like that!"

Cartman was slightly surprised. It wasn't like Stan to randomly get mad, then again, he did seem strange, almost like Stan was having some sort of personal crisis.

"Why do you care so much?"

"Yeah," Wendy looked up at Stan suspiciously. She let go of Stan's hand and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why do you care so much?"

Cartman cracked a smirk. He never had much of an attraction to Wendy, other than sexual, but he did love seeing her badger Stan about shit. Just before Stan was about to defend himself against Wendy he caught sight of Kenny. Kenny was over by a group of girls near the new Keg that was being set up over the stereo station. It was going to be used for some drinking game everyone wanted to try.

"Kenny!" Stan shouted at and waved over to.

Kenny looked over at Stan and waved back. When he saw Wendy beside Stan Kenny started wondering what Kyle was doing. And then it hit him. Why was Kyle acting all vulnerable and needy all of sudden? It started right after Wendy came and took Stan away. Kyle was jealous of Wendy because she's taking all of Stan's attention. Not only that but, could it be, Kenny hoped to himself, that Kyle might actually be starting to fall for Stan?

Oh God, that was just too much! Kenny cracked into a wide grin. Not only was the thought hot, oh God it was hot, but also it seemed perfect. He remembered every bad movie about childhood friends and that one song by Journey about those small town kids and it all made sense. Kenny moved forward to go over and tell Stan, of course only that Kyle was jealous, when someone pulled something the wrong way and the keg went tumbling forward.

We're talking about a 60lb. keg that was moving at about 50 ml. and hr.. Kenny looked back, well, more like up, only to see in that split second the keg crash into his head and instantly kill him due to skull fractures.

"Oh my God," Stan shouted. "They killed Kenny!"

"You bashturds…" Kyle slurred from the stair way.

Stan turned around to see Craig holding on to Kyle as they walked down the steps. Stan's heart began to race as they reached the final step. Craig was holding on to Kyle's hat in one hand and holding onto Kyle's waist with the other. Not only that, but Kyle seemed to be hanging all over Craig. Stan ran up to them, leaving Wendy and Cartman to gape at the bloody mess formally known as Kenny, and stood in front of Craig. He didn't know what to say, he just stared at them. Craig kind of coughed a little and shifted his weight.

"Someone got him completely shit faced," Craig started. He nodded his head over to Kyle, who trying to straighten up. "I, uh, took him upstairs to lie down but… um, I think he needs to go home."

Kyle looked up at Stan and a wide grin appeared on his face.

"Hey Stan!" Kyle seemed to be in high spirits, even though he had no idea what was going on. "I haven't sheen you all night! I misshed you, dude!"

"Yeah," Stan said while looking at Kyle. He was trying to figure out why exactly Craig of all people was trying to help him. "I'll take him home man, he needs to go to bed and sleep this shit off for a while."

Craig nodded and helped Stan take Kyle. He let go of Kyle's waist and watched both boy's wrap and arm around each other's shoulders. Craig then handed Stan Kyle's hat and watched the 2 work a way so that they stood comfortably together. Craig felt himself get mad. Kyle had so easily wrapped himself around Stan while it took some planning and patience just to get him to let Craig help him down the stairs. Craig was seething in jealousy. He didn't like Stan being so close to Kyle; he didn't like how he was always touching him or talking to him.

"And dude," Stan said as he looked over at Craig who seemed lost in thought before Stan got his attention. Stan smiled weakly, he seemed worried or to be deep in thought. "Thanks."

Craig nodded and watched the 2 walk away. He watched them walk up to Wendy and Cartman and then had a realization: Stan was his competition. Just like on the football field and during practices when the 2 of them would push each other to their limits, now Craig was in completion for more than sports glory.

Stan walked over to Wendy, one arm wrapped over Kyle's shoulder with one of Kyle's arms wrapped around his neck.

"Hey," he said quietly. Cartman was rolling his eyes as he watched the 2 of them. "Look, Kyle's really sick and I need to get him home."

Wendy kept her arms crossed over her chest, she gave a slight huff with an angry look.

"It's always Kyle," she stated.

"What?"

"It's always Kyle! You always ditch me or make excuses or cancel our plans if it has to do with Kyle!"

Stan looked down at his shoes. It wasn't exactly a lie, if Kyle needed something or if he was in trouble Stan was there to help him. Stan looked back up to Wendy.

"Wendy, look I'm-"

"I'm not hearing it!" Wendy covered her ears and looked away. "I'm going to go find Bebe and stay with her and the others here."

Wendy turned to walk away and shouted over her shoulder: "I hope you 2 have fun!"

Stan frowned as she walked away. He felt terrible for making her feel that way. He knew she wasn't entirely mad, she was just mostly insecure and felt scared. Cartman laughed at him.

"Oh jezz," he snickered. "Looks like she doesn't want you hanging out with your boyfriend anymore!"

Stan sneered at Cartman and took Kyle and left the house. Kyle was really dizzy, his stomach ached and his head hurt and walking as fast as they were made it all worse.

"Stan," Kyle mumbled as they crossed a block, Stan expertly dodging a drunk driver who was shouting about aliens.

"What?" Stan said irritated. He was irritated about tonight. He was mad that Wendy didn't understand how he felt enough to trust him. He was mad that Cartman was being a dick as usual. And now, now he was mad that he was pretty sure he saw Kyle making out with another guy. He had no idea why that made him mad, but just the picture of some random guy sucking on Kyle's neck sent him into a silent fury.

"… Do you hate me?"

Stan stopped dead in his tracks. He looked over to Kyle whose head was pointed down to the ground.

"You hate me, don't you?"

"No," Stan said. Kyle's voice was so weak and sounded so scared. "No, I would never hate you Kyle. Why are you asking that?"

"'Cause I can't drink… and I get drunk so easily… and I'm so stupid that I dressed up as Carl Sagan…"

Kyle sniveled a little. Kyle felt Stan was moving away from him somehow. He felt that Stan had made a new body of friends, people who were really athletic and cool. The type of guys who hung out at sports bars every Friday night and talked about their girlfriends. Kyle felt like a child compared to Stan, he felt Stan was growing up without him.

"No," Stan said quickly and calmly. He was trying to reassure Kyle. "No, no Kyle. I don't hate you! I could never hate you!"

"B-but I'm such a light weight. An-and I'm not cool like you with all your funny friends and football friends…"

"So? You've got your basketball friends. And you're cool Kyle!"

"Really?"

"Yeah dude. So what if you can't drink? I don't like getting drunk all the time (lie). And-"

Before Stan could finish his sentence Kyle lurched forward, holding one hand over his mouth while leaning over his stomach. Stan knew what was going to happen and helped Kyle over to a patch of grass, leaned him over and sat him down on his knees, and moved his hair away from his face. Stan took Kyle's hand away from his mouth and nodded down at Kyle to let him know it was alright. Kyle lurched forward and threw up a liquidy mess of contents that was mostly multicolored liquids and some of the hamburger he ate for lunch. Stan cringed a little but went to rubbing Kyle's back until he was finished. Kyle sat up a little and rubbed his mouth, groaning in pain over how much he just lost.

"I'm such a loser…" Kyle said under his breath.

"No you're not," Stan said seriously, causing Kyle to look up at him. "You're much best friend, heck; you're my super best friend. And there's no one in this entire world that can make me think you aren't the coolest guy I know. Got it?"

Kyle smiled at Stan and nodded, but he was losing his balance slightly and Stan had to catch him. Once he did Stan pulled Kyle up and held him in his arms a little. He realized how warm Kyle was and how soft he felt too.

"How much longer?" Kyle asked. At first, Stan thought Kyle meant how much longer was he going to hold him, but then he realized Kyle meant how much longer would they have to walk to get to Kyle's house. Stan looked around and then realized something: They were already there.

Stan then looked down to see the puddle of puke that was in the Broflovski's front yard. Maybe he could put a pumpkin over it and pretend nothing was there?


	5. Dr Kinsey and Ike

Stan woke up at 9:25am on Sunday to a house filled with neighbors snoring in the living room, kitchen and hallway. Shelly slept in her own room which was closed from the rest of the house (if not the world). Stan had to remember that Shelly had come home from Stanford for the weekend and that she had a boxing session in the afternoon after lunch. Shelly had gone through a lot of anger management since she was 15, after breaking Stan's nose, and the sessions really helped her. She had developed a much calmer persona and her character was more quiet and calm than in-your-face-crazy that had been so dominate for years. It was actually a relief and surprise that Stan and Shelly had begun to get along a few months after the sessions and now talked about once a week over the phone when Shelly was at school.

While sitting on his bed Stan went over what had happened last light: He drank a little, hung out with Wendy, caught Kyle making out with some dude, took Kyle home, came home, helped Shelly find pillows and blankets for all the guests who were (or going to) pass out, let Sparky out and fell asleep.

Stan rested his head in his hands, his head hurt a little and thinking was making him exhausted for some reason. He thought of Kyle. He remembered how light Kyle was, how the walk to Kyle's house felt like a relief but the whole way there he was strangely mad at Kyle. Maybe 30 minutes before taking him home Kyle had some guy sucking on his neck and even worse, he thought he saw Kyle enjoying it! That really pissed Stan off. He lay back down on his bed and tried calming down. Kyle seemed to of been really drunk last night. Maybe some guy, Kenny, took him upstairs and made out with him and Kyle didn't really understand what was happening?

Stan sat back up and thought of guys who might have done that. His mind automatically wondered to Kenny. Kenny had been serving drinks to Kyle, and for the past year alone he had been making passes at him. But wait, no, Kenny couldn't of done it because Kenny was downstairs the entire time. He had seen Kenny getting touchy-feely with some chick with blond hair and big boobs right before Wendy suggested her and Stan go upstairs. So Kenny was off the list. But then, who else could it have been?

Stan got up out of bed and started getting dressed. The snores from downstairs had become so loud that he could actually smell the liquor on their breath. Pulling out a pair of jeans and a blue, button up flannel shirt Stan remembered how sick Kyle was last night. He had pulled him up the stairs and put him in bed with barely any force, but Kyle was really out of it. He was going on about different scientific theories on evolution and psychology that Stan was sure he was getting wrong or mixed up with something else. Stan had only pulled off Kyle's jacket and placed it and his hat on Kyle's desk before helping Kyle kick off his shoes and get him into bed. Kyle seemed really out of it. As soon as his head hit the pillow he was out like a light and Stan couldn't help but laugh a little at how sweet and care-free Kyle looked when he was asleep. His curly red hair falling all over the place and his mouth slightly open with his chest rising and falling in a steady pattern. Stan watched Kyle sleep like that for about 5 minutes before he left, satisfied that Kyle was at some sort of peace. Stan saw that Ike was also in his room, it looked like he was getting ready for bed and when Stan left he saw Ike had left the front door unlocked and he saw that the couch had been made up into some sort of make shift bed.

After getting dressed (pulling on his famous brown coat and donning his favorite puff ball ski hat), Stan silently crept down the stairs and maneuvered himself around the snoring, lifeless bodies scattered about the floor. Some were sleeping under blankets and others were using their jackets as make-shift pillows. He saw a few of them were wearing masks and a couple were clutching bottles of liquor and beer. Stan left his house feeling weirdly annoyed at the scene yet happy that his parents had thrown yet another successful party. He remembered hearing that the Brofolvskis were going to go to the party as well and wondered if they made it home as well?

As Stan walked his thoughts circled back to Kyle again. When was the last time Kyle dated? Stan thought back to 2 instances in middle school. In 7th grade Kyle went out with Rebecca for about 3 months before she went back to being homeschooled again (something about 'not getting the kind of education' she wanted). He remembered Kyle being heartbroken and depressed. Stan had been with Kyle 24-7 through the entire incident, sleeping over at each other's houses for 2 straight weeks and talking about how much relationships sucked. Stan remembered how in the 8th grade Kyle went out with the Goth girl because of a dare but the 2 eventually broke up. He remembered how now Kyle and her will talk sometimes whenever the Goth kids were hanging out with them. That pissed Stan off a little…

Why would Kyle just make out with somebody? Forget that it was guy, who cared if it was a guy, but why would Kyle just jump the gun like that? Yeah, he was drunk, but Kyle was always the one with morals. Kyle would get pissed off whenever someone remotely crossed a line and would jump on their ass if they did. Kyle had even chewed out Stan's ass before because of his "morals", so why was Kyle throwing caution to the wind and making out with a stranger? Stan kicked at the half snow covered ground, picking up dirt and glaring at his shoes. This made no sense to him. Kyle wouldn't just do that. He wouldn't just hop into a bed and let someone do that to him.

Stan's mind wondered on to all the little sounds Kyle had made. He remotely heard a "coo" and an "ah", he remembered moaning and the muffling of heavy breathing. He thought about Kyle's face. It was too dark to see any detail in the room but Stan imagined what Kyle's face had to look like. Contorted slightly, biting his lower lip, cheeks a red blaze and eyes squeezed shut with sweat running down his brow. Stan clenched his fists. Why was Kyle getting like that? Why would Kyle just let some guy do that to him, someone Stan didn't know? If Kyle knew the guy why hadn't he told Stan beforehand about this guy or what Kyle wanted to do? And who in the world had the right to do that to Kyle? It wasn't fair that Stan didn't know who this person was! It wasn't fair that-

"Dude," Stan said quickly as he stopped dead on the sidewalk. Looking forward but at nothing. "Why the fuck am I thinking this shit? This is Kyle; I mean… why am I thinking this stuff about Kyle?"

Stan felt how red he was. He realized just how worked up he was about this. He shuffled forward and kept walking, his head down and his pace a little faster. It was embarrassing that he was thinking this stuff but then he wondered why he was thinking this stuff as well. Just as the thought accrued to him he saw that he was standing at the door step of the Broflovski residence. Stan stood there silent for a minute before shaking his head in aggravation.

"Stop being such a damn pussy," he said under his breath and then knocked on the door.

When no one answered Stan tried again. And again, and again, and then he resorted to ringing the obnoxious doorbell 3 times until, finally, Shelia came an answered the front door. Her hair was a red mess and her normally bright green eyes were red and puffy with bags hanging under them. Stan stepped back from both shock that she wasn't perfectly put together and from instinct. Usually he would see her wearing some button about the new organization she was supporting or cause she had started. But here she was, in a bathrobe and slippers and rubbing her head.

"OH, Stan…" Shelia said in a low voice, her eyes looked at him for a second and then darted back to the floor. "It's good to… Come.. in…"

Stan followed after Mrs. Broflovski, who shuffled inside with a slow groan. Stan saw Mr. Broflovski sleeping on the makeshift bed and Ike sitting at the kitchen table, eating a fruit plate. Ike waved at Stan when they caught each other's eyes. Ike was an anomaly to Stan; he was very tall for his age and incredibly smart. Stan thought about how incredibly different Kyle and Ike were physically, with Kyle being short and lean with red hair and Ike who was tall with straight jet-black hair, yet they are both incredibly brainy.

"Kyle's upstairs," Shelia said in a hushed voice. "You could go up there… see if he's awake yet…"

Stan nodded his head in a silent 'yes', he knew speaking was probably a little too much for Mrs. Broflovski this morning. And he praised the Lord for that blessing. Stan ran up the stairs as quietly as he could manage, receiving several grunts from downstairs. When Stan reached Kyle's door he froze for a minute. His mind was racing for what he should do but none of the ideas were sticking together. Out of the blue, as he was thinking, Stan heard some sort of groan from behind t door. It wasn't what he had heard from last night, more from the back of the throat and gritted teeth, but he felt his heart race. Stan reached for the doorknob and opened the door quickly; he felt his heart beat miles a second while he feared the worst.

When he came in he saw Kyle, his head under a pillow with his hands clawing at it and Kyle groaning in pain. The picture said everything: Kyle had just woken up and the minute he opened his eyes he felt the back of his head split open and spill out everything from the bottom of his stomach through his head. He was clutching his pillow trying to sooth the rushing waves of nausea and burning sensation under his skull. His stomach was churning inward and his eyes kept trying to press against each other harder and harder, as if they were holding in his brain from spilling out any farther.

"Kyle," Stan said timidly, afraid that Kyle would break from the sound of his voice.

Kyle could hear Stan's voice whisper through the mind cloud that was being muffled through his pillow. He moved the pillow away and looked up, opening his eyes to the glaring light of mid-morning that sent a shock of pain through both eyes to the center of his brain and sent him to cringe back.

"Whoa, dude!" Stan said as he ran up to Kyle. For a minute he hesitated. He felt something pulled himself back, like he was worried he would break him until he decided to sit down slowly on the opposite side of the bed. "Are you… no, uhhh, how do you… feel?"

"Who fucking shot me in the head?" Kyle growled out. He wasn't angry; he was just simply amazed he could speak! His mouth was dry and he could feel some sort of itchy feeling as the wind came up through his throat. He sat up on his elbows and looked over at Stan. His balance was as steady as an elephant on stilts and his vision was blurry, but he could see Stan. As clear as day light and seeing Stan made his head ache feel a little lighter. "Dude, what happened last night?"

Now Stan felt his stomach drop. His mouth went dry and he knit his fingers in between each other. Could Kyle really not remember what happened? No, maybe he's just tired.

"What do you remember?" Stan heard his voice come out in a low whisper, timid and calm but underneath a roaring ocean.

"Ummm," Kyle lightly pawed at the back of his head. His mind was mush; his memories were no more readable to him than ancient Chinese would be to an illiterate New Yorker (so… about half of New York). "We went over to Craig's with the liquor… You peer pressured me into drinking… Kenny supported that and kept feeding me fruity drinks… Wendy came… I drank some more… God, Kenny or Cartman or someone must have put something in one of those drinks! I mean, I can't feel my toes yet every inch of my head is on fire!"

Stan looked at Kyle curiously.

"You don't remember anything else?"

"No dude… Hey, am I at MY house or are we still at Craig's? No wait… this room's too clean to be Craig's, must be mine."

"Nothing? I mean, you don't remember meeting someone like… maybe someone who seemed really weird or maybe someone you didn't know?"

"No dude, God, my mouth tastes awful… Did I throw up last night? Wait, did I even brush my teeth last night!?"

Suddenly Stan cracked a big smile. He put a hand to his mouth and felt himself shiver and lean over into a fit of muffled laughter. This was great: Here Stan was freaking out over Kyle who just woke up from some awful hangover and here Kyle was worried about not brushing his teeth! Stan felt some sort of weight lifted of his chest, he felt his lungs fill up with cool air that rushed to his head and reassured him of some untold secrete that even he didn't know. Kyle could hear Stan laughing. He shifted his gaze over, twitching slightly from the shock, and found Stan hunched over and laughing.

"Shut up," Kyle growled as he kicked Stan in the side. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Laugh at my pain, I'll just kill you slowly. Once I remember how to spell my name and write your suicide note: you're dead."

Stan laughed more at this, this time he wasn't trying to be discreet. He then realized just how worried he was about Kyle, and laughed at how naïve he was. Kyle could handle himself, why was Stan afraid?

"Sorry," Stan said, putting a hand up in defense when he saw Kyle's glare. "Sorry, it's just, dude! You should have seen how out of it you were last night!"

"Oh God," Kyle moaned as he sat up and put his head on his hand. "How out of it was I?"

"Kenny was trying to convince you to go upstairs with him and I'm pretty sure you were in to it."

"Oh my God…." Kyle then shot his head up. "I didn't, did I!?"

"Umm," Stan shifted his gave away; he didn't want to think of that. In fact, Stan was trying to forget that incident all together. And even though Stan knew lying to Kyle was probably the worst move in history, he didn't want to freak him out. "No, no, Kenny died downstairs."

"Oh my God," Kyle's eyes went a little wide. "By who/what?"

"A keg fell on him."

"You bastards!" Kyle said while looking up at the celling with his fist in the air. "… Was that a little too late?"

"Nah, you said it last night anyway."

"Am I still in my clothes from last night?" Kyle asked while he looked down at his red turtle neck and made a disgusted face. Kyle was all into personal hygiene and couldn't believe that he didn't brush his teeth or at least of taken off his clothes before going to bed. "Sick, dude."

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't get you naked before spooning you last night, Kyle." Stan said in an exasperated voice with a smirk. "Jezz, you're such a whiny lover."

Kyle smiled and hit Stan in the shoulder.

"And you give terrible head."

"I resent that!"

Both boys started laughing. Even through a rough cloudy haze and an aching buzz, Stan could make Kyle laugh no matter what. Stan looked at Kyle and put his hand on Kyle's head and rubbed it against each other. Kyle smile and laughed, thinking Stan was trying to help his head ache, and Stan smiled. His fingers entwined around red curls and he savored the soft feel of Kyle's hair.

"Hey," Kyle asked. The sound of his voice made Stan stop rubbing his head. "Where's my hat?"

Both boys eyed the lime green ushanka on Kyle's desk and then looked back at each other. It was a silent conflict. Kyle tried to reach for it but Stan shot off the bed and grabbed it before Kyle even stood up.

"Dude!" Kyle shouted as he lunged at Stan, trying to reach for his hat. Stan laughed and held his hand up high over his head, the Ushanka dangling in between his fingers. Kyle reached up, standing on his toes and leaning against Stan while grunting curses as Stan laughed at how desperate Kyle was for his hat. Frustrated, Kyle pushed Stan down against the bed and, in Stan's confusion, reached for his hat. Stan quickly wrapped his legs around Kyle's waist and shoved him to the side so now Kyle was against the bed and Stan was atop of him, straddling his hips.

"A-HA!" Stan said victoriously, holding the hat up high. "I have won!"

"You basta-" Kyle started to say before stopping. He was looking up at Stan, he felt Stan's weight against his and suddenly, he could feel the heat rush to his face. Kyle's heart was beating faster and his mind was slower, less detail oriented and now trying to grasp the situation.

Stan looked confused at Kyle's face. At first Kyle looked angry but now Kyle's face took on a dumbfounded look that was unusual. This wasn't unusual for them. The 2 of them would wrestle each other on each other's beds and on the floor all the time. By this time it would be a close match between the 2 of them and one of them would be tapping the floor trying to get out of a painful grab.

"You okay, Kyle?" Stan asked, getting off of Kyle. He was worried Kyle might still be sick and he was making him uncomfortable.

"Uh," Kyle said intelligently. Once Stan was off him he felt his face heat up and he sat up and leaned over. "I think I need a shower…"

"Yeah, why don't you do that?" Stan stepped back and went over to Kyle's dresser. "I'll get you some clothes."

"Thanks," Kyle said quickly and got up and walked out of his room and over to the bathroom. He walked in and undressed quickly, quickly getting into the shower and turning on the water. Kyle always started the water cold and then turned it up to hot. He liked the feeling of his skin adjusting to the change of temperature as he took a shower. But for now, he kept it on cold. He felt how hot his body was, like every inch was in some frenzy over something that he couldn't explain. Kyle leaned his head into the cold water, he sighed as he felt droplets fall off his head and nose, the water running down his back and down his legs.

Kyle never really took long showers. They lasted about 5 minutes in which he scrubbed every inch of his body with a bar of soap and scrubbed conditioner into his hair (he gave up on frizz-control shampoo in the 8th grade) and then dried everything off thoroughly. It was lotion and drying off that took him longest to do. Kyle used an aloe based lotion because it smelt nice it also felt nice on his skin. Kyle had begun having dry skin problems and took some pleasure in rubbing lotion on his skin. He took pleasure in using the lotion in other ways as well but… that was late at night when everyone was asleep and he was in his bed.

After putting on the lotion Kyle looked at himself in the mirror. He frowned a little as he looked over his body. He was fairly pale, his arms tanned more than the rest of his body and his red hair was like a roaring fire compared to the rest of him. He was skinny, but he wasn't sickly. When he scanned over himself he saw his angles weren't sharp, they had their natural curve but he did worry when he saw his ribs were a little too defiant. His weight really was a concern, now he was scarred he was too skinny too. Kyle looked over his face. His eyes were slightly puffy and an extra bag was added on to them, nothing compared to the ones he got from late night studying. He scanned his chest, his muscles were subtle, the abs shallow but in the right lighting you could see how he did 100 crunches every night. He had strong arms and his neck, even though slender, was strong and… hey. Wait, where did that mark come from?

Kyle leaned into the mirror to examine his neck closely. The mark was a deep purple-ish color and was in the middle his neck. Kyle brought his finger up to his neck and lightly stroked the spot. He felt himself breathe in sharply and jump a little. It didn't hurt, in fact it felt a little good, but the skin was super sensitive. Kyle stepped back and tried to think, his mind was still hazy but he had no idea what that was. He wondered if he had hurt himself by accident? Did he run into someone too hard? Did someone-

Wait. Kyle's eyes opened wide and he placed a hand on his forehead. He knew what that was, it was a hickey. Sometime last night Kyle had gotten a hickey! Kyle felt himself giggle a little at that. He couldn't believe he had gotten so drunk that he had started making out with someone and didn't remember it. But that was the thing, who was he with that gave him a hickey? He could ask Stan if- just then his stomach dropped a bit.

Ask Stan? No way, he couldn't ask Stan! He could see Stan laugh at him over the fact he forgot. Or Stan tease him for being the one to get a hickey and not even know it. He then felt a little pang hit his heart. He didn't understand but, he felt he had to keep it a secret. Kyle grabbed 2 towels and wrapped one around his waist and the other around his neck with a part of it hiding the side of his neck.

Stan pulled out a pair of Kyle's jeans and flung them on the bed while he searched through his shirts. Mostly they were short sleeve t-shirts with prints of movies, music groups, faces of political people or with the name of some organization his mom had forced him to help out with. Stan smirked at the one entitled "I Support Women and Their Needs" in bright pink and considered putting that one out. But then he decided he'd like to keep breathing and put it back. The next thing he pulled out was a black turtle neck that he gave a quizzical look at. Stan knew Kyle liked to wear sweaters over a lot of his stuff but wondered if it was like him to wear one over a turtle neck.

"Oh," Kyle said, causing Stan to look over at him, in all of Kyle's naked glory. "That looks good."

Stan felt himself freeze for a moment. This wasn't new… he'd seen Kyle wearing less before… like when they were kids at the lake and Kyle and him had decided to skinny dip… Suddenly, Stan felt like they weren't kids anymore. Looking at Kyle he realized that Kyle most defiantly wasn't a kid anymore! Not incredibly tall or muscular, Kyle seemed like he was chiseled out of marble, he was cut perfectly into a body that was strong yet delicate. He had a cat like stance in how he moved and carried himself, yet his posture was slightly slumped, like a wild cat ready to strike. Stan blinked several times. When did Kyle change so much?

"Dude, are you going to hand me the shirt or stand there and stare at me all day?"

Stan blinked again before shaking his head and quickly throwing Kyle the turtle neck. He felt himself blushing and stepped back a little. "I-I'll look for some underwear…"

"Don't worry dude," Kyle said as he caught the shirt and walked over to the dresser next to Stan. "I can get my own underwear. Can you get me a sweater out of the closet?"

Normally Stan would have questioned why Kyle would need a sweater over a turtle neck. But then again, normally wouldn't stand there and check out his half-naked friend. Stan went over to the closet and looked through the array of sweaters. When Kyle felt safe he quickly took of the towels, jumped into a pair of boxers and threw the turtleneck over his head. He praised the Lord that Stan somehow picked a turtleneck. Kyle was just buttoning up his jeans when Stan came back with a long sleeved, knit sweater and threw it at Kyle. After donning his green hat Kyle and Stan shuffled down the stairs and into the kitchen where they found Ike alone, reading out of a psychology textbook.

"Good morning Kyle," Ike said without looking up.

"'Monrnin'," Kyle said as he went past his brother to forage for food.

"Mom said no cereal."

Kyle stopped in front of the fridge.

"Why?"

"She said: 'The night you come home from a hang-er-I mean a long community meeting at 4 in the morning, which I better not catch you doing, you can decided what everyone else can eat'."

Kyle seethed in a silent anger.

"Alright then," Kyle sighed. "Stan, let's go out for breakfast."

"Sure dude," Stan said smiling. "How about we go to- aw Man!"

"What?"

"I think I left my wallet at home, dude…"

"I'll pay for you."

"No, no that would be weird."

"How about I pay," Ike asked as he looked up from his book. "I owe Kyle one anyway."

"Ummm," Stan scratched the back of his head, a little embarrassed at having an 11 year old offer to buy him breakfast. "I don't know, that doesn't feel-"

"It's alright." Ike said while getting up. "I already said I owe Kyle one, oh, are you going to stay over tonight? It's Jeopardy night!"

"Nah," Stan said with a smile. "I've got cleaning up to do at home. Besides, Kyle always says my answer before I do!"

Jeopardy was a family game for the Broflovski's and whenever it was plaid 1st place was always between Kyle and Ike and last place was always between Martian and Shelia. Unless Stan played in which case he would always be last.

"Keep telling yourself that," Kyle said under his breath with a laugh.

"Who's taking you out again Kyle?"

"Who's paying for you again, Stan?"

"… We will continue this when I have more shit against you."

Kyle smiled and nodded as Ike came down the stairs and handed Stan 20 bucks. Kyle went into the other room to tell his parents where they were going and Stan decided to chat with Ike.

"So what did you do for Halloween all night, Ike?" Stan was always curious about Ike. He was an interesting kid and had some interesting stories to tell.

"I went out with some friends and trick or treated."

"What were you this year?"

"A Rubix Cube! It was awesome! Kyle and I had worked on it for a week and it was so cool, I kept getting extra candy and these guys gave me a brownie and Officer Barbarry stopped me and asked if I was a terrorist. It was sweet."

"Cool dude." Stan laughed at how excited Kyle must have been when making that costume with Ike. Kyle loved making costumes and was kind of sad when they all stopped trick or treating.

"You really like my brother, huh Stan?"

"Hmm?" Stan looked quizzically at Ike. "Well yeah, I mean he's my "super" best friend and all."

"No." Ike looked strangely serious. Not the "I'm studying" serious or "You're going to die" serious but the "I know what I'm talking about" serious. "I mean, you really, really like my brother. Right?"

Stan felt himself get nervous all of a sudden. He felt his breath become a little quicker and his blood rush a little. Suddenly the floor seemed really interesting and his head itched. With his eyes down and his hand scratching his head Stan looked for the right words.

"I-I don't really get what you mean, Ike. I mean, yeah we're friends and we're really close and all-"

"Stop kidding yourself, Stan." Ike was standing up straight with his arms crossed. "Yeah, you guys are "close". But don't you see how close? I mean, how would you describe yourselves?"

Before Stan could think of an answer Kyle had come back in to get Stan so they could walk over to Tweak Brothers. Stan silently praised Kyle for the rescue, said a quick 'goody bye' to Ike and walked out with Kyle.

Ike rolled his eyes at this and waved 'bye' and returned to his seat and started reading. Now Ike was getting worried. Really worried. Kyle was Ike's non-biological big brother and although he knew Kyle was smarter than him in many ways, Ike knew he was smarter than Kyle in other ways as well. Like with people. Ike didn't know if it was a natural understanding he had or whether he just paid attention better, but when it came to people Ike could read them like a book. He knew what people were usually thinking about, who they liked, what they were like and sometimes even what they wanted to do Ike had grown up seeing Stan and Kyle and watching their relationship. Ike could see they weren't just close, and he could see their friendship was more than just that. Ike loved his older brother, the guy who debated with, helped him with his homework and kicked him in the head as a baby. Now, he was worried Stan might accidently hurt his brother if he didn't catch a clue.

· *

"You have exactly 5 hours," a blond woman in a tight, red leather dress with fake red horns on her head and bright red lipstick said while she wound Kenny's watch. She was chewing cherry gum and leaning over, giving Kenny the best view of her cleavage. "At the 5 hour point you'll be tela-burned into the living world with your brand new living body and you're not my problem anymore. Any questions?"

"Yeah," Kenny said as the woman stood back up. "How'd a hot chick like you get stuck in Hell? I thought God gave all pretty girls a free pass, Mormen or not?"

"I'm from France."

"Oh… See ya!"

Kenny walked away from the toll booth and entered into the district of Hell known as "The Central Park of the Forrest of Suicides". Yet it wasn't all people who committed suicide and turned into Harpy trees. It was actually well kept and nicely drawn up and used as a popular walk-way for the un-damned and forgiven… damned people. Yes, Hell had people who were in Hell who just thought they weren't good enough for Heaven or people who were on Heaven's wait list. That's why Hell had to get an upgrade and started looking a lot like Tokyo. Kenny walked around and then looked down at his watch. It was the 1 with Mickey mouse with one hand pointed on the 4 and the long one at the 58 minute line. The watch basically gave him how long he was to stay in Hell. Which meant: This is how long you can stay here to gather information to help innocent souls and to help Heaven.

But Kenny didn't really take his job seriously. No, he found that many of the people here just thought they were too bad to get into Heaven, were on Heaven's waitlist, or didn't believe in God and were just waiting to get reincarnated. The people who were really damned and not being tortured were just presumptuous pricks or whiney homeless people who believed they were sent by God to try and rule Heaven. That's how he found Hitler, in a corner of Central park around a hobo-fire, preaching how he was going to rule all of Hell with a 4th Reich and something in German that Kenny couldn't understand. Before Kenny could start throwing rocks at the recently dead Prime-Minister of Spain someone had run into him and pushed him over.

"Oh!" The man exclaimed, turning around and offering a hand out to Kenny. "Sorry about that, my boy! I was just running through this incredibly magnificent park and was so caught up in my own thoughts that I must have overlooked you!"

Kenny rubbed his head and looked up half annoyed and half confused at the guy. Most people in Hell were insufferable bitches and dicks and wouldn't think twice about him, but this guy seemed… nice. Kenny took his hand and stood up, as he did he recognized the man's face from the cover of a magazine he once same in an antique store.

"You're Alfred Kinsey, the first real sex-doctor, right?"

"Oh you know about me? How delightful!" Kinsey brought Kenny into a tight hug with a smile. Kenny couldn't believe how strong the guy was, he had never known a brain-iack to be strong. Besides Kyle. "Yes, yes my boy, I'm the one. Although I have to say, I didn't expect anyone learned to be down here in this sort of town. Then again, I didn't expect myself to land in a land I didn't believe in but, here I am."

"You don't seem to be too broken up about it."

"Well of course not! You see, my boy, this is an opportunity this is!"

Kenny looked around, he saw people in the shape of trees bemoaning and harpies tearing them up and some of the most evil men in history begging for spare change. "I don't see an opportunity here."

"Well, my boy, that is because you haven't found a project of your very own yet!" Kinsey took out a handkerchief and rubbed his forehead. Kenny noticed also how Kinsey was fairly handsome and tanned. People in Hell usually began to look worse than there last days on Earth after living here a few years. And here this guy's been dead around 50 years or more and looked pretty good. "You see, my research when I was alive kept me feeling alive. Even though my research isn't finished, I believe that once it is the good it will do will create the world I am seeking: A world where sex isn't taboo in any form yet people will understand love and feeling is a component to healthy sex life!"

Kenny nodded his head slightly. Even though he was pretty sure Kinsey was crazy he knew the man was a genius. This was the man who helped get homosexuality off the list of psychological diseases after all and also gave America the wakeup call it needed to the sexual life of people in the world.

"Wait, you said you're still doing research. You mean you're doing research… here?"

"Of course! I mean, look around you my boy! Some of the most depraved minds of all, people who somehow believe they weren't good enough for Heaven, and a whole ecosystem of people from times long gone. The interviews I have conducted have opened so many doors into the human psych that even I can't believe how our society has produced them. It is incredible my boy, the project is alive and well even after death! Say my boy, how is sex treated in your time?"

"Oh," Kenny smiled. "We love it! But there are still some prudes about it all."

"Bah! The self-important and religious conservatives who don't approval in the 'animalizing' or understanding of human nature!"

"And there a bunch of sluts and dicks who kind of ruin it for the rest of us."

"Ah, I knew there would be draw backs." Kinsey shook his head. He did care about his project, and not just in some sick way. Yes, it was a little creepy, but his research did bring human sexuality on the forefronts of American science and showed that sex was a character tact used by humans. "By the way, my boy, do you have any questions around sex that could be beneficial to the project?"

"Actually yeah," Kenny said. He knew this may be private and inappropriate, but it did seem important. "I have these 2 friends. They're both guys and have been the best of buds since they were, like, 10, and it is more than obvious that 1 of them is attracted to the other even though he's attracted to girls."

"What do they rate on my scale?"

"What scale?"

"The Kinsey scale! From 0-6, 0 being exclusively heterosexual and 6 being exclusively homosexual."

"Hmm, I don't know… They both seem straight to me but, then again, they both act pretty gay for each other."

"Well then! Perhaps they're attracted to each other in an emotional and character level and they are just budding into the sexual phase of their relationship."

Kenny grinned at that, the thought slightly overwhelming and yet, it just seemed right.

"God, that would be hot…"

"Hmm, you know lad, I believe you strike me as a character who doesn't believe he'll be staying here very long."

"Oh, I won't be. In less than 5 hours I'll tela-burn back to the living world in a body made from the force of death and life and wait to die and come back here again."

"Really?" Kinsey smiled at this, he knew an opportunity when he saw one. "I have a proposition for you my boy!"

"Yeah?"

"You see, your time is very interesting, but so are all the people here and currently I have been studying the sex lives of men and women from Russia during the Bolshevic revolution and have no time to interview people from your time. Besides that, dead people give me their whole sex life and history so easily that I don't get their character in the act of it. How would you like to assist me in my project in the land of the living?"

Kenny turned the question over in his mind. It certainly did seem like an interesting offer, and he had to admit that he had nothing better to do. Kenny shrugged his shoulders and put his hands in his orange jacket pockets.

"Sure, I mean, why not?"

Kinsey cracked a big smile and brought Kenny into another hug, one that Kenny was sure meant the guy was some sort of athlete while he was living.

"Excellent! Come! We'll walk to my loft and I'll tell you all about the project! Oh, and I'll give you all the recourses you'll need and help get you started on your interviewing skills!"


	6. Gentle touches

"Fat ass at 5 o'clock," Kyle stated as Stan drove down the block. Today was the long anticipated day that signified "no more taking the bus" for the gang. Stan had been more than willing to pick up and drive everyone to school and back, but he wasn't sure how prepared everyone else was.

When Stan went to pick up Kyle he found him not only already waiting outside, in the cold, with everything and also drinking a rather large cup of coffee that he downed in a hurry once he saw Stan pull up. Stan remembered yesterday, how Kyle had 3 refills of coffee after breakfast and how they stopped for another cup of coffee… 5 more times that day! Stan had decided Kyle had a serious problem after that.

"You'd think it wouldn't be so obvious," Stan said as they slowed down, coming up to Cartman's driveway. "Oh, he sees you annnnnnd he looks pissed."

"Good." Kyle said smugly, leaning back in to his seat. "And I'm not moving."

"You gotta move dude."

"Nu-uh."

"Yu-hu. The only way for the fat ass to sit in the back is to get there through the front."

"… Dude, you seriously couldn't of ass kissed your way into getting a car with back doors?"

"Hey! I did my best here, alright. Besides, this beauty's a classic!"

Kyle mumbled "classic ass hole" as they pulled up to Cartman's driveway. Kyle got out and pulled back the seat for Cartman to sit in the back.

"Oh no," Cartman said while crossing his arms. "I am not sitting bitch to Jew-boy here."

"Shut up, Cartman," Kyle said while leaning against the open door. He was smirking profusely and obviously enjoying this. "Or do you want to take the bus to school?"

That was something no one could fight against. Cartman knew well how awful it was to ride the bus; he also knew that the cafeteria had donuts this early in the morning. So Cartman crawled into the back, not without muttering a few curses, and Kyle sat back in the front and they all drove off to Kenny's house. Kenny's house was situated right next to the train tracks that acted as a literal line that separated the ghetto from the suburbs. The poor from the middle class. Kenny's house was still some sort of shack with a tin roof that was falling apart and garbage thrown around the front and back lawn.

"Dude," Kyle said suddenly. "Do we even know if Kenny's back yet?"

"You mean if he's alive again," Cartman corrected. He hated buttering anything up unless it was going into the oven. Especially when it involved Kenny and his… condition.

"Yeah, he's back," Stan said absent mindedly as he pulled up to the sidewalk in front of Kenny's house. "You didn't see that flash of lightning and weird materialization at 11 pm last night?"

"No dude," Kyle said. "Ike and I were watching the Daily show."

Just as he said that Kenny came out of his house wearing his favorite orange hoodie, skinny jeans and carrying his backpack over 1 shoulder. What really surprised them all was what else he was carrying. Kenny was sporting a clipboard with tons of papers attached to it, 2 extra text books that weren't school-related and… he had a white lab coat thrown over his other shoulder. Stan cautiously got out and pulled his seat back for Kenny to get in, everyone staring at him as he did. Kenny didn't seem to notice, he just kept his big ol' grin on his face the entire time.

"Hey dudes," Kenny said cheerfully, looking from side to side. He could see by their expressions that they all had the same question: What the fuck?

"Okay Kenny," Kyle started as Stan got back in and turned on the car. "This better not be you playing out some sort of 'doctor-patient' fetish on some poor, unsuspecting freshman. Or me."

"Of course not, Kyle." Kenny said as he sat up straight in his seat, trying to project an air of professionalism. "You see, I have now devoted my time and energy to a project, to science!"

"Wow."

"Are you impressed?" Kenny asks smugly.

"No, I'm just surprised you didn't say anything perverted to the whole 'doctor-patient' thing."

Kenny sighed, Stan laughed as he started the car.

"I'm trying my best here, dude." Kenny said as he ran his hand through his hair and laid his clipboard on his lap. "I mean, God! I have to be all 'professional' and 'sophisticated' and everything and it fucking sucks because I'm working with the idea of sex and I'm not allowed to make sex jokes or anything!"

Kyle watched Kenny through the rearview mirror as Kenny covered his face with his arms and gave a dry scream from his throat. It was apparent that Kenny was trying hard to be mature for some reason. And the idea bugged Kyle, more so than the idea that Kenny was using 'science' as an excuse.

"Wait," Kyle said quickly, still watching Kenny through the rearview mirror. "What do you mean by 'science'? Just what in the Hell are you up to now Kenny and is it going to involve something really perverted?"

Kenny put down his arms and stared at Kyle through the rearview mirror.

"You ever heard of Dr. Alfred Kinsey?"

"Yeah," Kyle said slowly, watching his words in case they were being tested. "He was the biologist who first became famous by studying dung beetles and then, about 20 years later, published "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" and "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female". He also had a song named after him in the 50's called 'The Kinsey Twist'."

Kenny sat there, quiet and not moving for a minute.

"Did I miss something?" Kyle asked, wondering if he got anything wrong or if Kenny wanted something else.

"I just forgot that you're a genius is all. Anyway," Kenny's face seemed to light up and his tone became more frantic with motion. "You're right. And you wouldn't believe it but I met the guy, in Hell!"

"I can believe that."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, I talked to him and it turns out he's still doing his research down there and trying to keep his documentary going."

"Wait," Stan interrupts, pulling his eyes away from the road only for a minute to look at Kenny through the rearview mirror. "Are you saying that this guy is still trying to do work while he's in the same place with the eternally damned and demons and shit?"

In his mind, Stan was thinking "damn, you'd think the guy'd known when to take a break".

"Yeah dude! He says it's great because now he can document the minds of all the depraved, desperate and evil mother fuckers ever known!"

"Not all of them," Kyle said while tossing his thumb back to point at Cartman. "He's missing 1 up here."

"Hey!" Cartman complained as Kyle put his thumb back down. Cartman's look took on one of seriousness and anger. "Someday, Kahl, someday I will make you weep. And not just weep the tears of ordinary pain, but ones of the kind that means you have lost a special part of yourself and will never get back."

"I'm not eating any of your chili, Fat ass."

"Goddamit Kahl! I am not fat and you will quit being such a prick and respect mah power and influence or else you'll be sorry!"

"I'm only sorry they didn't keep you in that fat camp long enough for your ass print to get out of my sofa."

"Dudes," Kenny quickly interrupted. "I'm having a moment here!"

"You're always having a moment, Kenny," Stan said with a smirk, seeing Kenny's pissed off face. "Anyway, keep going. What's this Dr. Kinsley guy have to do with you?"

"Dr. Kinsey," both Kenny and Kyle corrected before Kyle let Kenny continue.

"Well," Kenny said, leaning back with a smirk. "Guess who's his new intern to take sexual histories of the living?"

"No way," Kyle said. He had turned his head completely to look Kenny in the eyes and Kyle looked a mixture of worried and horrified. Worried because this was dangerous and complicated work that he didn't think Kenny was ready for. Horrified because this was Kenny: He knew eventually this would come back to haunt them all.

"Yes way," Kenny said, grinning ear to ear.

"No way!" Kyle said suddenly, solemnly and seriously. "No way are you doing this, you cannot work with that guy, dead-or-not."

"What!? Why not? Are you getting jealous or something Kyle?"

Kenny asked while leaning in with a smirk that Kyle just rolled his eyes to.

"Hardly. Kenny, that guy may have brought sex into a better light during that era, but it still doesn't make up for the fact he was a raving lunatic."

"The guy's a genius!"

"He had recreational sex with his co-workers under the disguise of it being healthy for them! His MALE co-workers."

"Well then," Kenny purred as he leaned up and stroked the back of Stan's head. "We could always do our own simulations. How 'bout it, Stan?"

Stan froze up, but not before slamming his foot right into the break and sending everyone into a painful stop. Kenny's face hit the back of Stan's seat before he plopped down and both Kyle and Cartman were trying to catch their breaths from being hurtled forward and stopped by a seatbelt.

"Dude," Kyle said, rubbing his throat. He had been pushed so hard that it hurt a little to talk. "A little warning next time."

"Sorry," Stan said, his hands positioned awkwardly and tight on the steering wheel and his eyes wide open.

"Ow," Kenny said, crunched up and leaning back in his seat. "Dude… I just got back from dying. Don't break me yet."

"Learn how ta drive, asshole!" Cartman yelled from the back. "You almost broke my fucking ribs!"

"You have enough fat on you to protect you from a 500 ft. dive off the Empire State Building, let alone a nasty break." Kyle spat out which caused the 2 of them to bicker.

Stan kept his eyes glued to the road and tuned everyone out for the rest of the trip. What Kenny did wasn't unusual, it happened a few times before. But it was weird. Before he usually did it in front of an audience and Stan could punch him tell him to knock it off. This time, Kyle was sitting right beside him. The thought of Kyle seeing that made Stan feel self-conscious, it was as if he was worried that Kyle would take it the wrong way.

· *

The boys came into school that morning with the bulk of their class cheering for them. The school was still buzzed from Halloween night and Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman were still being praised.

"Dude," Kyle said after escaping yet another head lock from another jock. "They're seriously THAT happy that we brought them liquor?"

"Are you seriously NOT enjoying this, Kyle?" Kenny nearly shouts. He kind of has too, 2 girls are on either side of him making "coo"-ing noises and a bunch of guys are around Stan talking in way-to-lou-for-a-crouded-bar-during-the-2nd-quarter loud. "Dude, we're heroes!"

"Heroes of what exactly? The drunken and disorderly?"

"Yes! We're the Messiahs of our generation!"

"Kenny…. Are you still drunk?"

"Who are you to talk about being too drunk, Kahl," Cratman says with a laugh. He had several guys pat him on the back and was just done with a short interrogation/ negotiation with Clyde. "Last time I checked, YOU were the one so shit faced that he was nearly dry humping Stan all the way home."

"Shut up, Cartman!" Kyle nearly shouted. His face was ablaze and his brain was pulsating, trying to remember. Did he really do that? Was he all over Stan that night? He was sure Kenny was giving him drinks but… no. It wasn't possible. Stan was with Wendy that night, he remembered them saying they were going to go mingle. But still… why does he still have a hickey on his neck that he was hiding with high neck sweater? And why does he have the faintest recollection of something like strong arms?

Kyle took a step forward, masterfully dodging an incoming hug from a guy 2 ft. taller than he is, and looked back to see the crowd surrounding his friends. He saw Stan having a blast chatting and bragging to all his jock-friends, Kenny flirting with a bunch of girls and even Cartman had a small array of people listening to him rant about this or that. Kyle smiled to himself. He knew he was only opting out of it, he knew he could reap the benefits as well. He chose not to because he didn't enjoy it, he didn't enjoy being praised because he brought liquor to a party or that he could get shit faced like everyone else. In a way he did hold himself up to a higher standard than he did most people, but he did it because he had a high opinion of himself and wanted to keep it that way. He saw how that could be poorly reflected on him. He could tell people called him a snob and that he thought he was special, but then again he didn't hand out with those people. So he really didn't give a rat's ass about what most people thought about him.

As Kyle watched the scene unfold he felt someone step behind him. It wasn't the same feeling of just having another classmate come by to congratulate them or thank him, but more of a dark presence. Kyle felt a chill run up his spine. He slowly turned his head to see the tall, brown haired and grey eyed woman with spectacles know as Mrs. Humpfreeton standing behind him. A scowl on her face was present and her eyes told the story of someone who was witnessing a war zone negotiation. Kyle felt hope leave his body as he stared up at her.

"Mr. Broflovski," Mrs. Humpfreeton said in her low, direct voice. Kyle felt himself jump out of his own skin at the mention of his name, like it was some ancient curse. "I see there is a small gathering of students in which you seem to be neither apart of yet still not completely un-involved in."

"Um," Kyle tried to say something… but he didn't understand what she was saying. Is she saying he's in the group yet still not in the group? That he's a part of the roudyness yet not? Or is some weird spiritual thing?

"I expect the school's top student to have better dictation than that, Mr. Broflovski."

"Oh, I mean, um, no I'm… not really a part of that. I was, kind of, but I got out of it!"

Kyle felt panicked. He had no idea why she was talking to him or what the right answer to her pseudo-question was. He looked up at her and saw her nod. Apparently he said the right thing.

"I believe that would be in the best interest for you." She was looking straight ahead, no emotion in her face or tone. "When one allows himself to become a part of something, they should have complete control of or understanding of a situation in which it benefits themselves. If not, then the relationship disintegrates and leaves either and all parties in a state of disarray that causes a loss to the world around them."

Kyle stared up at her; he had no idea what she was talking about. It must have something to do with a future choice crap or something along the lines of life decisions. At that moment she redirected her full attention on the group in front of them. And as if a stare could actually kill every single one of the students felt a sudden chill run up their spines. They turned their heads to see Mrs. Humpfreeton staring at them. An icy dejection surrounded them and there was an unspoken truth: She was evil incarnate.

"You have 5 minutes until first period begins," Mrs. Humpfreeton said, her tone one of stone and grave. "I shall count to 3. 1."

She barely had to move her lips before everyone had scattered.

Stan had somehow managed to locate Kyle and the 2 of them quickly snuck away and walked over to their locker. Stan leaned up against the side of the lockers and slid down to sit on the floor as Kyle opened up theirs.

"Dude," Stan finally managed to get out. He had a sort of dazed/horrified look on his face. "I think… I think I heard the theme from the 'Omen' when she spoke…."

"The 'Omen'?" Kyle questioned as he took out the first book he'd need for his first class. "That was some horror movie, right? How did that go?"

"There's like, this awful churchy music and guys chanting in Latin and then this horrible opera background that goes: "_Son of Satan_" !"

Kyle giggled and nodded. "Yeah, she does have that certain _je ne sais _murder to her."

Stan and Kyle chatted like this while Kyle got out their books and reorganized with Stan looking over his shoulder. Stan was always amazed at how through Kyle was and was always impressed with how much work he puts in to making things look nice. Kyle could just feel how impressed Stan was. No, literally. Stan was so entranced that he was pressed up against Kyle's back while staring into their locker, pushing Kyle into them. Kyle tilted his head down and sighed. This wasn't the first time Stan had uncomfortably pushed Kyle up against the lockers and it certaintly wasn't going to be the last.

"Dude," Kyle said, slightly annoyed by having been pushed up against the lockers. "Get off of me; I'm trying to do something here."

"Let me help," Stan said, slightly pleading. Whatever Kyle did was usually interesting and Kyle always stuff like cleaning look like so much fun. Stan didn't exactly know why but Kyle could turn the most mundane thing into something really interesting.

Kyle rolled his eyes. Stan was talking to the back of Kyle's shoulder and sounded almost childish in the way he begged. It was cute, in a completely humorous way, but annoying.

"No way," Kyle said while trying to slip one book next to another. "You always mess up or break the pattern and it takes me forever to fix it."

"Please." Stan said while pressing himself closer onto Kyle, making Kyle rub up against the lockers tighter. He made a devilish smile, looking forward to Kyle's reaction. "I'll do whatever you say."

Kyle nearly stopped dead in his tracks. Stan was using his lower-than-usual tone that made him sound deep and alluring. Kyle felt himself get nervous now. It was one thing to hear that over the phone and another thing all together to hear it at school! Deciding Stan was probably just being an ass Kyle tried to ignore it.

"C-cut it out Stan."

Stan held back a laugh and instead leaned his face close to the side of Kyle's head and put his mouth next to Kyle's ear. He kept his voice the same, low pitch but added a growl he had just learned to use.

"There's nothing sexier than you telling me what to do."

Kyle felt himself get red and flustered. This was a first, Stan was being an ass, an annoying tease actually, and Kyle kind of… liked it. And that scared him. So much that he quickly took out the chemistry book from their locker and hit Stan on his side with it.

"You have chemistry 1st period today," Kyle said, eyes straight ahead to the locker. Kyle willed the blush to leave his face with deep, even breathes as Stan backed off of him and rubbed his side from getting hit.

"Thanks, Hon," Stan said with a roll of his eyes. "I really need to get out of this abusive relationship."

"You know what I need?"

"To get laid?"

"A new best friend."

"Oh come on!" Stan said exasperated. "It's only a joke!"

Kyle listened to Stan whine and apologize, trying to keep himself from cracking up. Was Stan really worried that Kyle might actually dump him? As Stan kept whining Kyle couldn't help but lean onto the locker and start cracking up. That made Stan laugh to and playfully hit Kyle on the back for being a dick.

"Stan!"

Kyle and Stan stood straight and looked over to see Wendy standing a few feet away from them. She was wearing a yellow, sleeveless dress with her purple coat over it and black boots.

"Hey Wendy," Kyle said with a wave. When he looked over at Stan he saw Stan was looking a little nervous. Kyle butted Stan with his elbow and motioned for him to say something.

"Hey…" Stan said tensely. He remembered the last time they saw each other ended in Wendy getting angry at him and she hadn't answered when he called her last night.

"Can I talk to you for a second," she said while motioning her head behind her. She meant alone.

Stan looked over at Kyle who nodded in a silent 'okay'. They never did have 1st period together so Kyle figured he'd just leave now. As he left Kyle wondered what the 2 of them would have anything to talk about. He remembered them being all lovey-dovey during the Halloween party so why would they have something to talk about it private for?

Stan walked over to Wendy who started walking in the opposite direction of Kyle. This didn't surprise him. Wendy was just trying to get somewhere a little more quiet that was also closer to their 1st period classes. Once Wendy stopped next to the computer lab and boy's bathroom the 2 sort of awkwardly stared at their shoes for a minute. While Stan looked at his shoes he noticed Wendy was wearing shorter socks than usual. That meant she didn't have gym today and since she was wearing boots it meant she still was planning on standing.

"She must have debate today," Stan mused to himself. "Or the Scholastic Bowl thing with Kyle."

Stan never really kept up with their schedules much; that was much more of a Kyle thing. But he did feel bad that he didn't know much about what Wendy was doing.

"We haven't talked since 2 days ago," Wendy finally said, breaking the awkward silence.

Stan clenched and unclenched his fists, he was trying not say something out of place.

"I tried calling you last night."

"I had church choir practice." Wendy said, she was still looking at the ground as well. She felt like they were making awkward small talk. "Kenny wasn't there… Did he come back yet?"

"Yeah, I picked him up this morning."

"I rode the bus to school today."

"I thought… I thought you'd ask if you wanted a ride or anything."

"I thought you'd offer."

The 2 stood for a few seconds before raising their heads. Stan looked into Wendy's eyes, they weren't red or puffy. He knew Wendy was strong enough not to cry over a small fight. But he did see that she was genuinely sad, but not as if she was hurt. More like she was confused.

"What did you do… when I left?"

"I stayed at the party for a while. Bebe almost went upstairs with Clyde but instead she stayed with me while I… While I helped clean up."

"Nobody tried to get you to drink more or anything?"

"Bebe did, but I didn't want to. I don't like drinking that much you know…"

Stan looked back down at his shoes. He'd forgotten Wendy was really only a social drinker and how embarrassed she gets after drinking too much. She was probably embarrassed about blowing up at the party and for getting kind of drunk.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry's not good enough this time, Stan." Wendy was looking directly at Stan. She cared about him deeply but really didn't want to hear another apology. It was always an apology and then they would pretend a problem was fixed, but Wendy didn't want to do that anymore. She wanted something to change. Stan looked up at Wendy; he was surprised and slightly hurt.

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to _say _anything Stan. I want you to… It's what I want you to _do_."

"Okay, what then?"

Wendy looked to her side and bit her lower lip, trying to will the words to come. She then took a breath and turned back to Stan, her eyes forward and focused.

"I want you to stop hanging out with Kyle so much."

Stan blinked twice and looked at Wendy with confusion, as if he hadn't heard her correctly.

"What?" Stan felt like Wendy was questioning his very nature. "Why?"

"Because you always do anything he asks you to do without thinking!" Wendy was a little red in her face, mostly from embarrassment. She knew how she must look now, asking her boyfriend to stop hanging out with his best friend. "Whenever Kyle's around all you want to do is talk to him and hang out with him. You never think about anything else, you don't even talk to me when he's around."

"That's not… I don't…" Stan didn't believe what Wendy was saying but she did have a point. How many plans has he canceled when it came to Kyle? But then again, why did that matter? He liked hanging out with Kyle and Kyle was an important part of Stan's life. Wendy knew that, she had to have known that!

"Look Stan. I like Kyle, I really do. He's a good friend to me too, but I'm worried that he's too involved in your life. Like he's too big a role in your life and you're not trying to move past him."

Stan looked at his hand. He was trying to find something to fight Wendy back with. He could find reasons, lots of reasons. Kyle had been his best friend since preschool, they played video games and basketball together all the time, they had had 3 different bands together, they pulled of impossible shenanigans with each other on an almost weekly basis, Kyle had helped save Stan's life multiple times and Stan's done the same for him. Now Wendy was questioning why they were so close? Well, why not? That was what he wanted to say. He wanted to throw at Wendy all the times Kyle's helped her or how close those 2 were and how much Kyle meant to Stan. But Stan couldn't. If Stan said any of that he knew he'd only hurt Wendy's feelings. And no matter how mad he got or how much Wendy could annoy him he could never intentionally hurt her.

"I won't," Stan managed to whisper out. Wendy leaned forward in anticipation as Stan cleared out his throat; it felt like he had something stopping his air. "I won't stop hanging out with him… but I can try not to do it as much. I promise I'll make more time for you than him from now on…. Is that alright?"

Wendy smiled and wrapped her arms around Stan's neck, stepping up and hugging him close.

"Thanks for understanding Stan," she whispered in his ear and Stan hugged her back lightly. He couldn't help feeling like he had just made the biggest chump move ever.

Lunch was now never going to be Kyle's first priority ever again. Kyle and the gang went through the same routine as always. Get their lunches, tell chef they were curious about Mrs. Humpfreeton and have the question be masterfully dodged, but today was way different. Wendy came and sat next to Stan and took his entire attention away. No, literally. Stan had never even looked over at Kyle once. And if that wasn't the worst Cartman had gotten into a heated battle with Kyle in which Stan had purposely ignored the entire time. Feeling tired and betrayed Kyle shoved the rest of his untouched lunch over to Kenny, who swore he would repay Kyle back sexually later, and left to go to the library.

Kyle entered the library knowing its exact layout. One didn't spend half their lives inside a place of study without getting the lay of the land. There Kyle really didn't know what he was looking for. He had a good 30 odd minutes of free time, Cartman had somehow rigged all the clocks, and even though he did feel like he should study for his A.P. Trigonometry class, Kyle felt like he needed more of a distraction. As he walked over to the math section he caught Butter's at a table, studying from 3 books.

"Hey Butters," Kyle said with a small smile as he approached the blond, military cut boy. Though extremely naïve and innocent Kyle knew Butters is extremely smart. Tied with Wendy, Butters happened to enjoy studying and knowing how to deal with things in a logical manner. Although, he constantly finds himself in illogical situations.

"Oh," Butters said, surprised to see Kyle here. Kyle was a nice enough friend, he talked to Butters and the 2 were both on the Scholastic Bowl together, but Butters never saw them as close. But he was happy for the interruption and the chance to talk to someone. "Hey Kyle! What're you doing here?"

"Nothing much." Kyle said while shrugging his shoulders, taking the seat next to Butters. He really didn't want to go into detail about something he really didn't understand himself. "Couldn't stay in the cafeteria too long, lest having to deal with further torture from Cartman. What's up with you, what are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm all right I guess. I was just studying because my mom wanted me to get my A.P. Chemistry grade up or else my dad said he'll ground me."

"That sucks!" Kyle never really liked Butters' parents, nobody did.

"Not really, no. They don't always remember to, and even when they do they're real nice about it. Besides, I like studying!"

Kyle rolled his eyes and gave a light laugh. It had to be Butters, the boy who could find the creamy-goodness inside of Eric Cartman, who could find studying to be a great past time. Not that Kyle couldn't either, he just couldn't really get into studying for school. More for personal pleasure.

"Oh, I didn't see you at Craig's party on Halloween, where were you?"

"Oh! My parents asked me to watch the house. There was that alien threat a-and I didn't really want to go to that party…"

Kyle could see Butters was lying. No one invited Butters anymore unless they felt sorry for him. And Kyle was starting to feel sorry for him now. Butters had always been nice to everyone as a kid but no one was nice to him. Kyle remembered firsthand how he treated Butters, as if it was 'un-cool' to hang out with him. Remembering how he used to treat Butters reminded him of how Stan just acted. Kyle wanted to change that now.

"Alright, how far are you getting then? What seems to be your trouble areas?"

"Oh," Butters was surprised. No one had actually ever offered to help him on anything or really try to be nice to him. Kyle trying to be nice to him touched Butters and made him smile. "Well, I'm not too good on the math for all these thermodynamic stuffs. I keep getting the-"

"What's up my geeks!" Kenny comes in nearly shouting. That was one thing you could always get away with in the school library. Since the librarian was deaf and slow you could bring in megaphones and noise makers into the library without getting into trouble. Just last year the gang played with loud, ground level fireworks in the theology section and got away without the librarian even noticing. Kenny situated himself across from the boys and put down his clip board and pencil. It was then Kyle noticed Kenny was wearing the white lab coat.

"What are you doing, Kenny?" Kyle questioned slowly, watching Kenny's expression to see if he could read it. All he could get out of Kenny's cocky grin was one answer: Trouble.

"I'm beginning my research." Kenny said smugly while crossing his arms. Kyle felt a shiver run up his spine and his eyes went wide.

"Wait.. You're not actually asking people about their sexual histories… are you?"

Butters became slightly clammy and hid his face behind a book. He knew where this was going: Somewhere that would get him in trouble and then grounded.

"No. Not exactly." Kenny's smile grew ear to ear as he placed an elbow on the table and leaned his chin on that hand.

"What ARE you doing then?" Kyle asked while getting a little annoyed.

"Well, I'm more or less asking people how they think sex is treated in our society and what they think about if asked them a question regarding having sex with another person."

"Oh my God," Kyle said while face palming. Kenny was being a nosy pervert again.

"Hey Butters. Can I ask you some questions?"

Once Butters looked up from his book Kyle grabbed him by his shoulder and pushed him up against his chest.

"NO dude," Kyle said with a glare.

"Why not!?" Kenny whined. He always liked pushing Butters buttons to see if his perverted nature was ever registered. It was kind of a turn on.

"I am not letting you corrupt Butter's fragile, young mind!"

"He's as old as us! And he's been put in a lot more sexually risqué positions than you anyway!"

"Yeah! But he didn't understand them and I know you're going to do or say something to him that will be repeated back in therapy."

Butters had no real idea about what was going on, but he felt Kyle sort of hugging him. Another first. He also caught on from the conversation, Kenny bickering with Kyle, that Kyle was trying to protect him from something. Butters smiled and blushed a little. It wasn't that often that anyone really showed any concern over him and he was happy that somebody, anybody, was caring about him.

"Can't you just skip this whole project thing?" Kyle questioned with a sigh. It wasn't as if he had anything against Kenny doing something weird, he was more worried about what could happen to Kenny in the process. "You could get yourself killed again if you keep this up. Who knows how many lives you have left?"

"Oh come on you big worry-wart," Kenny said with a smile. He was happy to see Kyle stressed over his safety, but not enough to stop. "What could go wrong?"

"Oh, I don't know. But the fact is we live in a small, close minded, mountain town that has more ties to the Roman Catholic Church than the Pope has Alter boys, could be a bad place to start this little experiment."

"You worry too much!" Kenny said with a wave of his hand as he redirected his attention to questioning Kyle. "So then, how about I ask YOU some questions?"

"How about not?" Kyle said as he let go of Butters. Butters sat up and watched the 2 of them before deciding to speak.

"Wh-what sort of questions were you gonna ask us?"

"Butters," Kyle said with a slight growl before turning to him with a knowing-look. "Don't encourage him."

"Now wait a minute Kyle," Kenny said with a smirk. "Don't you think we should at least humor the boy? I mean, even he's interested in the advancement of science."

Kyle glared over at Kenny and then sighed. What was the harm in letting Kenny kill himself again?

"Fine," Kyle grumbled. "But only 1 question. And you have to ask both of us."

"Why?"

"Because I know if you ask just Butters you'll trick him into either doing something perverted or helping you with this project. And I for one don't want to see Butters asking people about their sex lives with that 'innocent little boy' face that I know will just give you a kick."

"Huh… You know, that does sound like a good idea-"

"Don't even think about it."

"Fiiiiiine!" Kenny sighed and looked back at the 2 of them. When you thought about it, Kyle and Butters looked pretty different and contrasted next to each other. Kyle's nerdy attire and hat covering his mass of red hair was opposite to Butters, who had his blond hair cut in a distinctly military fashion and wore clothes that wear pale-colored and fit like a uniform.

Kenny had to think of what he wanted to ask them. Personally he wanted to just question Kyle, ask how he was doing and if he had been alright getting home on Halloween. He had been really worried down in Hell, thinking about a drunk Kyle and a worried Stan. Not to mention his little discovery of a clingy Kyle and Dr. Kinsey's suggestion that he might be attracted to Stan really peaked his interest. Then he question came to mind. He remembered the question Dr. Kinsey had asked Kenny about them.

"Alright," Kenny started as he looked at the 2 boys. "Dr. Kinsey came up with this scale that ranked a person on their sexuality. He had this theory that there was no straight answer to if a person is just 'gay' or 'straight'. Today we add things like 'bisexual' or 'pansexual' but Dr. Kinsey came up with this really cool scale idea. He asked people to rank themselves from 0-6. 0 is exclusively heterosexual while 6 is exclusively homosexual, and 3 is you don't give a crap either way. Now then," Kenny smiled, he didn't realize just how much he liked this question. "What would you rank yourselves?"

Kyle pinched the bridge above his nose that separated his 2 eyes and let out a heavy sigh. He just knew Kenny would go _there_. Kyle shifted his eyes to see Butters looking down at his fingers, flustered and fidgeting.

"Well gee, Kenny," Butters said, barely lifting his eyes up because of how embarrassed he was. "I don't really understand… I-I guess I'd say I'm a 1 or 2… I don't really know and-"

"What are you talking about!?" Kyle nearly screamed as he looked over at Butters. "You've been laid countless times by countless girls in the past year alone, Butters!"

That was true. By the time Butters hit high school he seemed to be the prize boy to just about any girl, South Park or Middle Town or anywhere in Colorado. Just last week Butters had been spotted talking to the twins June and May out by the public library, both of which were obviously flirting with him. Butters looked back at his fingers, worried he got an answer wrong.

"Ye-yeah but… but sometimes I get to thinkin' that it'd be real nice if'n I had another guy around instead'a some girl… I mean I really like girls, an' I ain't never been with no boy but that don't mean I don't find some boys real good lookin' or think about them sometimes."

Kyle felt himself get a little hotter. He'd never heard of any guy openly admitting that they thought about other guys, especially not as candid as Butters had.

"So then," Kenny said while he was fiddling away and scribbling down what Butters had said on his clipboard. "If I may ask, who is it you sometimes think about?"

Butters suddenly became very quiet. Kyle knew he was going to answer; Butters always did whatever someone else wanted him to do no matter what it was. Kyle felt himself gulp down something in his throat.

"I," Butters started, Kyle's ears perked up interested. "I sometimes think about Stan… 'Cause he's real nice and, when you look at him at the right angle with the sun behind his back, he looks real handsome."

Kyle stood up quickly and loudly.

"I'm done," he said quickly. "I'm sorry Butters, but I don't feel well. I think I'll go sit over by the front of the library if you need me. Kenny," Kyle stated as he looked over at the other blond. "You won't bring this up again. And if you do, I'll break your fucking nose to the point you won't be able to breathe out of it."

Kyle then walked toward the front of the library where he was trying to figure out what was making his stomach flip flop. Kenny watched Kyle walk away. Kyle's reaction was very interesting to Kenny, especially since it was provoked in such a quiet manner. Kenny then redirected his attention to Butters who was looking dishevel. He was worried he had just done something terribly wrong.

"Di-did I say something wrong?" Butters asked Kenny. "I mean, I didn't mean to hurt Kyle's feelings or nothin'. Do you think I made him uncomfortable or something?"

Kenny shook his head and picked up his clipboard. Suddenly, sexually harassing Butters seemed to be a backburner to _this_ new turn of events.

"No," Kenny said while he looked over his notes, analyzing them carefully to make sure he didn't miss or mistake anything. "Actually, I think you just might have helped him realize something Butters."

-in the front of the library-

Kyle walked over to an open table that was just across from the door. While doing so he rubbed the back of his neck with a hand, shuffled in place and tried deep breathing. It felt like he was trying to calm down from something; from what he had no idea. All he knew was something really awkward had happened and he didn't want to be around Butters or Kenny because… Because of what? Nothing really unusual had happened. Kenny was always perverted and tested Kyle's tolerance, and Butters was always naïve and didn't always understand how to answer a question.

"But maybe it was the question," Kyle thought to himself. "Maybe it was the question that got on my nerves. I mean it couldn't have just been Kenny, I like Kenny and his weird, double sided sword-like nature. And it's not Butters, he didn't really annoy me and he wasn't being unconsciously stupid… So, why is that question nagging at me?"

Kyle sat down at the table and looked up at the celling, scolding at the fluorescent lighting and the weird vibe he had going on. As he looked up he reviewed all he knew about Alfred Kinsey: He lived with his mother and father on the lakefront in… Massachusetts? He loved nature, hiking and exercise. He had a doctorate in biology and intensively studied Wasps before and after he made a name for coming out with his research on the mating patterns of dung beetles. The man had spent most of his career taking the sexual histories of people from each gender, race and background in order to base a scientific study upon. It was actually an incredibly sophisticated and highly organized project in which he had graphs, data tables and even maps to show the differences in sexual preference, history and patterns. The first book "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" was deemed an incredible, age inspiring success that gave instant fame to the man and his co-workers. When "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female" came out 5 years later the man was deemed a devil and the book an atrocity; yet the book was already sold out before it even finished printing. Dr. Kinsey had died before finishing an additional book to his research that was supposed to be centered around Prison inmates, rapist and law enforcement officers.

Kyle then grimaced, he had read about Dr. Kinsey in a psychology book but he couldn't once remember the 0-6 scale. He was pretty sure Kenny wouldn't have made it up; Kenny was the type of person who didn't make shit up just to satisfy simple curiosity. It did urk Kyle that he didn't know everything sometimes and this was one of the reasons why: he hated not being prepared. He wasn't even sure if he would have been prepared for that question if he had known about the scale but he would have at least been able to dodge it better.

"Kyle," a distinctly feminine voice sounded from the front of the library.

Kyle leaned his head back down, as if returning to Earth, and sees Wendy standing a few feet away from his table. Kyle couldn't help but feel a little annoyed, after all, she had basically hogged Stan all to herself during 1 of the few times they could actually get together during school. But Kyle managed a light hearted smile, stood up and walked over to Wendy. Her eyes were slightly down cast and she looked a little… Kyle couldn't find the right word. Nervous? Ashamed? Anxious?

"Hey Wendy," Kyle said as he stood in front of her, his hands in his pockets. "I haven't seen you since this morning… Um, are you and Stan having problems?"

The question came out so naturally that Kyle was a little embarrassed by his bluntness. But it seemed appropriate.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Kyle took a hand out of his pocket and rubbed the back of his neck again. "This morning you didn't look too good, and Stan seemed really stiff when you came up to talk to him. I was worried if something had happened. I mean, what was that all about?"

Wendy seemed to sigh in relief and smiled cheerfully.

"Oh, it was just me being a little… neurotic." Wendy said with a slight giggle. "But yeah, I wanted to talk with Stan because we sort of had a little quarrel on Saturday and I just wanted him to know, oh gosh, this is embarrassing."

"What's up?" Kyle was really interested. It wasn't like Wendy to complain about her relationship, at all really. She just sort of moved with it or pointed something out to Stan like it was a fact. This was weird.

"Well… I wanted him to know I wanted to spend more time with him."

"That's it?" Kyle let out a sigh and smiled, he couldn't believe he was really THAT worried. "Dude, Wendy, I get mad at Stan if he doesn't call me right after something important happens. I get it."

"Really?" Wendy looked at Kyle as if her life was hanging on the line. "You understand, you really mean it?"

"Of course I do." Kyle said with a smile. He didn't want Wendy looking sad, she should be smiling and complaining, the way Stan always liked her. If she was all depressed Stan would get depressed and Kyle would really be worried.

Wendy stepped closer to Kyle and hugged him. This wasn't unusual, Wendy would hug Kyle whenever they won a competition for academics, whenever an exam score came out as passed advanced, after a game that either Kyle had won or 1 where Stan had won and they were on the sidelines cheering. But this seemed different. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his upper body and she had the side of her face pointed in the other direction. Like she was trying to support him but guilty for doing so. Kyle had no real idea what was going on. He had just assumed she was feeling a little insecure so he opted to pat her on the back lightly.

At that moment Craig had decided to walk in. He didn't feel like eating in the cafeteria the entire time, especially after a food fight had broken out between the Juniors and Freshmen who had lunch that period. In fact he narrowly missed getting hit in the head with a plate of Saulsberry Steak before leaving. When he came in he saw what sort of looked like Wendy trying to comfort Kyle and Kyle awkwardly trying to comfort her. Craig blushed and covered his face when he saw Kyle. He still remembered what happened that night and… to say he was more than anxious to talk to Kyle again was an understatement. He had spent all of yesterday trying to come up with ways to talk to Kyle, preferably alone where he could try and create a somewhat standard conversation. He knew Kyle didn't like him, but he could probably change that if he tried.

Craig coughed into his hand, down casting his eyes so he wasn't just staring at Kyle anymore. Wendy and Kyle turned their heads in the direction of a sound to see Craig standing a few feet away from them. Wendy dropped her arms and let go of Kyle, a little embarrassed to be caught embracing another guy. Kyle just rolled his eyes. He was half expecting Craig to say some snide remark about all of this. But Kyle was actually surprised to hear what came out of Craig's mouth.

"Sorry if I interrupted something important."

Wendy waved off the apology, saying nothing had really happened while Kyle stood there, slightly bewildered. Again, he was used to Craig being a dick to him no matter why, when or where. And now he was being… pleasant. Wendy says something Kyle couldn't recognize, probably because he was deep in thought, and waved 'bye' while she walked to the back of the library on a supposed hunt for a book. Craig and Kyle looked at each other. Kyle had no idea why he was still standing there, but some part of him was just nagging at him to say… something.

"You feeling better?" Craig questioned as he looked at Kyle. He certainly looked better, is what Craig thought.

"Umm," Kyle began, he was wondering what was going on. "Yeah. I heard from Stan that I got kind of wasted at that party, but I got home okay."

"Good." Craig let out an audible sigh. "Yeah you… You we're really wasted. I heard Token say Kenny was feeding you drinks half the time until you left the kitchen."

"Yeah." Kyle said as he rubbed the back of his neck again. He suddenly realized that was his go-to move whenever he was nervous. "All I remember really is drinking some stuff Kenny gave me and… well that's about it."

Craig swallowed hard. He had pretty much guessed Kyle had forgotten what else had happened that night, considering how drunk he was. He had to carefully avoid telling him all that happened that night… But that didn't mean he couldn't put himself in a better light.

"Yeah, you were nearly passing out against the side of the wall. I helped you upstairs so you could lie down but, then you started to get really sick so I asked Stan if he could get you home."

"Oh God," Kyle groaned while he covered his face with his hand. He was embarrassed at the very thought. "I can't believe I did that…Dude, I'm sorry you had to-"

"It's alright man," Craig said with the casual toss of the hand. "Happens to the best of us."

Kyle eyed Craig strangely, not once had Craig attempted to insult him and here he seemed to be defending him.

"Well… Thanks for the help that night I guess," Kyle sort of mumbled.

"No problem. And… sorry."

"For what?"

"Just…. Sorry. I know we haven't been the closest since elementary school so… Look man, I don't mean to be a dick. I guess that's what I'm trying to say."

Craig had his hands up defensively, ready for Kyle to retaliate. He only got Kyle to snigger and smirk.

"You could have fooled me."

Craig smiled. This was better; they seemed to have had a conversation. But that's where it stopped. Craig felt the awkwardness creep in slowly, wondering how in the world they still weren't talking. And then he remembered he hadn't been on friendly terms with Kyle since elementary school, he realized he didn't know if they had anything in common.

"Well," Kyle started, already bored about what just happened. "I think I'll go read or something."

Craig thought quick and fast, not really caring how he sounded: "I'll go with you."

Kyle gave him a quizzical look before shrugging and walking over to the nearest bookshelf that was based on mathematical logical. He had gotten bored with the idea of studying trigonometry and decided to pursue a personal interest. Kyle picked up the first book that seemed appeasing to him and went to sit in a chair. He was kind of annoyed to see Craig still following him, looking around at the books. It wasn't the fact that it was Craig, okay, maybe a little bit, but mostly because Kyle didn't really like having people around while he studied. He didn't mind helping other people study but when it came to him he preferred to do it alone. It was mostly because Kyle always felt the need to have to talk to a person if they're around and that he gets marginally annoyed when reading alone and hearing someone breathing next to him. It comes with having to deal with his cousin Kyle and his breathing problems.

Craig looked around at the amass of books in math; he was kind of aggravated that Kyle actually studied this sort of thing for fun. Craig didn't have a great grade in math and found all the formulas and procedures confusing and impossible to keep up with. When he looked over at Kyle while he sat down, Craig could just tell that Kyle loved math. He figured Kyle must be pretty good at it too.

Kyle was deep into his book at this time, his shoulders hunched slightly and his nose almost pressed up against the page. As Craig looked at Kyle he then noticed that Kyle's shoulders seemed to be really tense. Not only that but his neck seemed overly strained and most of his upper body seemed exhausted. Probably from sitting in that stance for too long. Craig knew how to spot these sorts of things, during summer football practice he had pulled a shoulder muscle and one of the side coaches showed him how to massage his muscles. Craig had been massaging his own sprains and muscles since then and knew how to spot a sore muscle or tense spot from across the room. Felling embarrassed yet slightly excited Craig stepped behind Kyle again; this time with what he thought was an actual reason.

"Your shoulders," Craig managed to say after standing awkwardly for a minute. Kyle had been so surprise that he stopped reading and twisted his head to see Craig. "They look tense."

"Oh uh," Kyle stammered. It was kind of a weird statement for someone to make. He settled his book down on his lap and tilted his head up to get a better look at Craig. "Yeah, they kind of are. Comes with the constantly studying pose…"

"You know that's really bad for you… Your posture is going to really suffer and you'll start having back problems."

Kyle grimaced a little; it was sort of annoying to have some fret over you like your mother. But it was really nice for him to hear Craig showing concern over him. Even though it was a little strange, given that he was still used to Craig being an obnoxious prick to him, it was nice.

"Yeah… My mom keeps trying to tell me to get into yoga or do some more stretches but, I just don't have the time to really do anything about it."

"I could rub them."

Both Kyle and Craig sat in an awkward silence for a minute. Feeling the coldness in the air and the heat in his cheeks Craig looked away but pressed on.

"I mean- I could rub your shoulders for you. They showed me how during practice and I know how important it is to keep your back in good shape."

"Umm," Kyle was at a loss for words. He was taken aback by Craig's offer and a little embarrassed by it too. "I-I don't know… I mean, I wouldn't want you going to any trouble-"

"It's no real trouble!" Craig put a hand on Kyle's shoulder then. "Like, I do this all the time and, it's not like I want you to be all uncomfortable or anything. Plus, it feels really good! Like, each time I do it it helps with my stress so… it could really help you."

Kyle thought a moment. This was really strange. Sure, Craig hasn't purposely been a dick to him all day, that was really new, but the offer was still a little strange. After all, why would someone who acts like they hate you suddenly be all friendly and then offer to rub your shoulders? Kyle felt Craig's hand on his shoulder and sighed inwardly. His shoulders were a little stiff and, when you thought about it, why would Craig offer to do something to just pull a dick move on him afterwards?

"Sure," Kyle said as he leaned his head back on the chair. "I guess it wouldn't hurt."

Craig felt himself get red again. He was hoping Kyle would say yes but… he forgot then he would actually _have _to touch Kyle. This wasn't bad to Craig, quite the contrary. He'd been yearning to touch Kyle again, so much that he couldn't pay attention in class while he sat behind Kyle. But it now made him doubt his own skills. Crag timidly put his other hand on Kyle's other shoulder and took a deep breathe.

First: Craig used his middle finger and index finger to rub the pressure points that were in between the base of the neck and the edge of Kyle's shoulder. He pressed in deeply with the 2 fingers and used his thumbs to rub in gently around Kyle neck. Kyle took in a sharp breath at first but then let it out slowly, feeling Craig's fingers move against bone and muscle and pull up in a way that sent tremors of pleasure up and down and in a circle as Craig's fingers motioned them. Kyle felt his upper body already relax into Craig's grasp and pull. Craig smiled at this, happy that he was doing such a good job and excited that he had Kyle back in his hands again. Craig decided to go farther.

Second: Craig moved his fingers down so that they were on either side of the upper part of Kyle's vertebrae. He used his middle, index and pointer finger to rub into the area between the bottom of Kyle's shoulder bone and his vertebrae. Kyle sighed as Craig rubbed in, his back arching forward again, but this time because it felt _so good_. Kyle's eyes were shut and he turned his head to one side and rested it gently on his right shoulder. Craig traveled down the upper section of Kyle's vertebrae, stopping each time to rub in deeply and slowly. He heard Kyle sigh a few more time before smirking and travelling upwards. He could hear Kyle 'coo' a bit from the fresh and tender skin being softened. Kyle's eye's fluttered open and shut, it was very new for someone to touch him like this and it felt good. Very, very good.

"Is this alright?" Craig asked timidly. He wanted to keep going but he was afraid that Kyle would ask him to stop or that he was tired of it now.

"Yeah, ah… That's real good…"

Craig smirked. He heard Kyle's voice break and not only that, Kyle's voice actually sounded a bit deeper. As if he was so relaxed Kyle's diaphragm was producing a new tone. Craig wanted to see how far he could go with this.

"You want me to keep going?" As he said that Craig moved his fingers down 1 vertebra below where he had stopped and began rubbing gently before pushing in deeper.

"Ah," Kyle half moaned out, taking in a deep breath and then letting it out. "Yes… please..."

Now Craig was going. He heard Kyle beg him to keep going. "Please," Craig repeated in his head. How Kyle's voice seemed distant yet so pleading. It was almost so exciting that Craig almost forgot what he was going to do next.

Third: Craig moved his thumbs up and placed each of them on the sides of the spine, right below the vertebra at the base of the neck. He rubbed in deeply, greeted by a deep groan from Kyle who felt slightly mindless and weightless. Craig took in a deep breath as he then moved his thumbs both an inch towards the shoulders and rubbed again. He repeated the process by moving down the spine and rubbing and moving over an inch. Each time he moved Kyle groaned in delight and appreciation and Craig felt more and more confident.

Forth: Craig placed his thumbs on each ridge that runs along the top of the shoulder blade, at the inside corner close to the spine. He grasped the top of Kyle's shoulder with his remaining finger for better leverage and rubbed in deeply with his 2 thumbs. Kyle moaned deeply and rested his head on top of Craig's fingers. He was mindless now; Kyle had never felt more relaxed in years since he began abusing his upper back. And here it felt like Craig was pushing away his stress and the heavy weights on his shoulders and was leaving behind a kind of ecstasy that even Kyle didn't know was possible. Craig smiled and moved his thumbs down into the crook between Kyle's shoulder blade and the upper arm bone. When he pressed down Kyle's head leaned back even further and another deep, hearty moan escaped. Craig wanted to stop there and continue where they left off the night before.

And he could remember it vividly. Kyle, all red and breathless, almost begging for whatever to happen. And here he was now: breathless and begging for whatever to happen.

Craig moved his hands to Kyle's neck, but at that moment somewhere near them they could hear some sort of crash. As if books had been dropped. Craig quickly let go of Kyle and zipped his head around trying to locate the source of the sound. Kyle, feeling new and refreshed, felt Craig let go of him and looked up at Craig.

"What's up?" Kyle asked; his voice still a little deeper than his naturally high tone.

"I thought I heard something," Craig said. He took in a deep breath and let it go. He didn't see anybody or anything out of the ordinary, so he figured someone must have dropped something somewhere far away from them. "I guess it was nothing."

When Craig looked down he locked eyes with Kyle. Kyle's eyes were a deep, dark green that had specks of light green here and there. Craig could see the light that filtered in from the fluorescent lights above transcend the swirl of green and shine specks of light into Kyle's eyes. Craig stood there, looking down and into the depth of green, it was like being swallowed into a forest of leaves and grass that consumed your thoughts. When Craig saw Kyle's eyes change from curious to concerned he backed away, he didn't want Kyle to know what he was thinking…

"I think the bell's about to ring," Craig said, his eyes looking away from Kyle's. Kyle shrugged his shoulders and boosted himself up off the chair.

"Yeah," Kyle mumbled while picking up his book. "We better get going to class then."

"Yeah," Craig said, still looking away. Kyle looked up at Craig, he felt himself blush a little and took a deep breath.

"Thanks," Kyle said with a sigh. He wasn't sure how to go about this but thought a 'thank you' would be a good way to start. "For the shoulder rub… Thanks, it really did help."

Craig smiled at Kyle and Kyle looked at Craig in a new light. He noticed how when Craig smiled his eyes went up into his bangs a little and his lips curved more to the sides then spread out over his face. It was different, unique.

"Any time," Craig responded casually.

Craig nodded and followed Kyle out of the library and into the hallway. They walked beside each other for a minute until they both reached their respected classes. Kyle gave a small wave and nod of his head, his smile still present. Craig nodded back and left him, he felt like he had concurred some small obstacle.

-After school-

"So then," Wendy said while looking at her fellow Scholastic Bowl members. "Shall we call this practice over?"

"Can we?" Kyle whined, his upper body laid across the table with his head resting on his paper covered arms. He sat next to Wendy and was feeling particularly bored. Kyle and Wendy were neck and neck as the top members but Wendy was president of the club. "We've all reviewed, quizzed and made our quick presentations for the free answer, aren't we done yet?"

"I-I think we're done," Butters said from across the table. Butters was only an alternate but was very good. In fact, the only reason he was an alternative was because he was so nervous in public.

"Well then." Wendy said while standing up and taking up and encyclopedia. She snapped her fingers at Kyle so that he would sit up straight. She then dropped the heavy book hard on to the table top. "Meeting adjourned."

Wendy zipped out of the room, trying to keep up a half jog to the football field. The meeting hadn't lasted long but she didn't want to miss seeing Stan practice as Quarterback for the football team. Stan had just been promoted to Quarterback this year and was so proud of himself, everyone was proud of him. Wendy didn't really like watching football; it seemed barbaric and kind of boring for her taste. But it Stan was playing she thought she could at least come out and support him. Kyle ran right past Wendy before stopping and turning around to look at her.

"Going to watch Stan at practice?" Kyle asked while lightly jogging in place. It was something he had picked up during basketball, the sense that if you kept moving your body would still be ready for action. That, and he really was impatient right now, he really wanted to go watch Stan. Wendy simply nodded a 'yes' to Kyle question and smirked at her. "Don't you think you should have worn sneakers if you were going to run?"

Wendy blushed but grimaced and rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, Speedy Gonzales." She said as she ran up to Kyle. "Do you mind me jogging beside you?"

Kyle contemplated this. He didn't hate Wendy, he could never hate her. The 2 of them were fairly close and had a lot in common. But he felt he had to hurry, he liked being there at the moment the team finished warming up so he could watch Stan get yelled at and make faces at Stan from the sidelines. That could be hampered if Wendy was there. But Kyle just shrugged his shoulders.

"Kay, just try and keep up with me, got it?"

Wendy smiled at Kyle, who had to slow his pace down to a quarter of what he usually ran at to help her keep up. Kyle knew they'd be there once the real drills were being played, but he still felt he was missing the fun part.

-South Park High Football stadium-

"Another lap!" The South Park High School Football coach shouted out at the mass of student players. All were practicing in full gear, helmets and everything, and even warmed up in them. This was nothing special to most teams, but given that South Park was usually below freezing most of the members were shivering under their thin suits.

But not Stan Marsh. Stan was sweating down his back already and he felt heat resonate from under his helmet. To Stan, they could very well be practicing in the Stadium field of Arizona State. Stan felt the sweat run down his back and forehead, he felt the muscles in his legs ache at the thought of another lap to and from the end zone, and he felt his heart pump blood that rushed from head to toe. He could think, he could feel, but he was waiting for the point when he couldn't think and only feel. He hated warm ups because the coach never let him get to his best. To the point his body is just moving and feeling and working and his brain is just telling him how to do it. Life would be so much easier that way, if your body could just do what needed to be done and your brain told you how. If you could just feel without having to think.

Finished and the boys ran to take a quick drink of water before running back to their places. The boys were then broken up to practice their separate drills. Stan practiced the 5 and 7 step drill and Goal Post Distraction drill before the team was brought together to be split up and practice game drills. In this set Stan had half the team behind him and was up against Token as the other quarter back. Token was pretty good, he had a few inches on Stan and was pretty strong, but he didn't have the focus and strength that comes from just being a body. The real thing that worried Stan was that Craig was playing defensive lineman with Token. Craig was one of the best tacklers and could be counted on hunting down the quarterback on the field, but that wasn't what Stan was really afraid of. He was creeped out by Craig's look. Craig looked at Stan like he was a target, like an animal in the butcher's hands.

As the teams were getting into position Stan heard cheers on the side lines directed to him. He knew one of the voices instinctually: Kyle's. Kyle came to watch almost every practice unless he told Stan otherwise. And each time Kyle is there, making fun of Stan when he messes up and cheering him on as he wins in practice. It was always fun for Stan, seeing Kyle jump up and down excitedly and cheering him on or laughing at him. When Stan turned his head to look at him, intending to complain that Kyle was late, he caught Wendy's eyes.

Wendy stood next to Kyle; she waved excitedly as Kyle waved naturally. It was actually a little surprising for him to see Wendy there because she would usually wait for him outside, after practice was over. But Kyle usually did meet Stan on the field, he would usually watch him play and even start cheering and then they would walk home together.

"Eyes on the field Marsh!" The old coach shouted. Stan was pretty sure the coach could never manage to talk below a scream, given that Stan always left practice with a ring in his ear.

"Ooooooh," Stan heard Kyle's distinct voice call out tauntingly. "You got in trouble!"

Stan growled and then laughed under his breath as he took his place behind the offensive line. That's another thing Stan liked about football, you always had the offensive in front and a number of defensive people protecting him. It was just the feeling of having someone near that was counted on to protect you that made him feel secure when he was just playing and not thinking.

"Hey Stan, do you just squat down there to stare at the other guy's ass?" Kyle called out and watched Stan stumble forward and then flip him off. Kyle cracked up but was stopped when Wendy punched him in the shoulders. Kyle stopped and started to rub him arm, the girl sure knew how to throw a punch.

"Stop that Kyle," Wendy said with both hands on her hips, scolding Kyle with her stare. "Stan needs to focus on the game."

"Ha!" Stan called out when he turned to see Kyle. "Getting beaten up by a girl, Kyle?"

"You're one to talk, Stan!"

The 2 started to laugh until the coach turned his attention at Stan and yelled at him while Kyle stood there and laughed at him.

"Do you do this every time you come out here?" Wendy asked with a bewildered look. From how good everyone says Stan is he sure did seem goofy and aloof on the field.

"Of course we do," Kyle said while turning his attention back to the field. "It helps him."

"Helps him? How could that possibly help him?"

"You've seen a game before, right?"

"Once or twice."

"Well, whenever we play someone Stan gets the most insults thrown at him while he plays, so I just tease and make fun of him to help him concentrate on his game. The guy's super sensitive, so when I do this it just helps him get his guard up and laugh whenever someone really tries to hurt him."

Kyle was smiling as he watched Stan kickoff and pass the ball, it was really fun to watch Stan go. You had to admire Stan's dedication and talent.

"Really?" Wendy looked up at Kyle and smiled worriedly. She was worried she might be harming something in Stan and Kyle's relationship. "You really do have his best interest at heart, huh Kyle?"

"Yeah. That and it's really fun to mess with him when he's all serious."

Stan was setting up for the 3rd drill run. This was fun for him, there was nothing like actual training for field work. The only thing better than this was an actual game, when everyone is deadly serious and the action is fast paced. Stan squatted down behind the middle of the offensive line, ready to receive the ball.

"Blue! 15. Blue! 22. Hut, hut, hut, hut, how many huts was I supposed to do again?"

"Just throw the damn ball already!" Kyle yelled out in aggravation.

"Hike!" Stan yelled with a smirk. Even though he really didn't know how to call out directions there wasn't anything more fun than getting Kyle aggravated.

Stan caught the ball and sprinted off, one Tackle running right beside him while the wide receiver was already running up, far ahead in case Stan passed the ball. Stan could feel his mind slipping and felt the wave of pain and exhaustion lift and bring forth the feeling of complete control. Where he could feel every muscle, bone and joint move in and stretch and feel how much power he was giving each part.

Stan ran past the 40, the 30 and was just making his way half way through the 20 when he felt himself forcefully pushed into the ground and something land on him. When the sharp sound of the whistle sounded and the thing lifted off of Stan, Stan stood up and saw Craig wiping his face. 2 men came and patted him on the shoulder and he went back into the lineup.

Stan went through the same procedure and when he called 'hike' and was about to throw the ball over to his wide receiver he felt Craig, again, crash into him. This kept going on throughout practice. Stan had helped scoured 2 touch downs but kept getting tackled and pumbled by Craig. Stan could swear he heard Craig growl a few times as well.

As their last drill came Stan was determined to make it to the end zone. Stan caught the ball and ran on the balls of his feet, his mind set on one location and one time. He knew he was at his best speed and he had sprinted and avoided several offensive men and tacklers in his sprint. But from the corner of his eye he could see Craig coming up behind him, his legs out stretched almost as if they were the legs of a Granddaddy long legged spider. Stan tried to go faster, he tried to breathe in quicker as if that could propel him farther, he even tried pretending Craig wasn't really there. But that didn't stop Craig from launching himself and tackling Stan's lower half to the ground, causing Stan to let go and drop the ball in the process.

Stan watched the ball bounce away from his grasp a few feet away and he felt as if he had lost a life line. As if some part of him was just stolen from him, never to return again. He knew this wasn't true and that was just an exaggeration, but it didn't make him feel any better. As Stan watched the ball just finish bouncing away and begin to simply role he heard Craig whisper something:

"You won't win against me, I'll make sure of it."

Stan quickly turned around to see Craig already standing up with Token and a few others around him, excitedly cheering about how great that tackle was. Stan sat there a moment. He couldn't think, the process was lost on him. He just felt what he could feel, as if the process was like thinking. He felt… lost, sad, defeated, worried and angry. Worried and angry, about what? He didn't know, he just felt like that.

Just then Kyle had run over to Stan and was trying to get him to stand up. Stan grabbed on to Kyle's shoulder and had Kyle help hoist himself up into a standing position. Stan took off his helmet and took in a deep breath and breathed out loudly, savoring the feeling of cool air entering his boiling hot body and seeing it exhale into a steamy mist in front of him. He felt the process of thinking don upon him, like he had remembered where his voice was hidden all this time and it only came when he heard Kyle talk.

"Man," Kyle said while staring up at Stan. "You sure took a beating there, dude."

"Yeah dude," Stan said, whipping the top of his forehead. He felt his hair smear against his face with sweat falling off. "Can't believe how hard that was."

"At least we can say you know how to get thrown into the ground."

Stan punched Kyle in the arm and Kyle smirked, laughing a little.

"Bastard," Kyle said in a light hearted voice. "What's it with you people and hitting me?"

"Because you're a dick," Stan said while smiling. He felt light again, happy to have Kyle poke fun at him. He was still feeling depressed over how practice went, he had never been pumbled like THAT before. It made him worry about how he was going to do on the field.

"But dude," Kyle began, looking over at the other players who were beginning to get their stuff to be dismissed from practice. "Craig sure did whoop your ass, I can't believe how good he is even now."

Stan sneered at this. Craig wasn't 'good', he was a no good, dirty tackler who seemed to have something out against Stan. He could feel it. He could feel Craig's inner thought in those tackles, and he could tell they were all purposefully against Stan. Stan just walked away over to the coach, leaving Kyle looking confused. Usually Stan would laugh this off or make fun of Kyle somehow, but now Stan was acting all moody. Wendy walked over to Kyle and asked what was wrong but Kyle just shrugged his shoulders, guessing Stan was tired from practice.

After everyone had showered and gotten dressed Stan left the locker rooms, saying 'good bye' and 'good job' to everyone and walked outside. He saw both Kyle and Wendy waiting for him outside.

"Hi Stan," Wendy said with a smile. "That was really good, what you did out there. I couldn't believe how fast you were!"

"Yeah, well," Stan said while rubbing the back of his head. "Not good enough."

"Don't sell yourself short dude," Kyle said while walking over and patting Stan on the back. "You did incredible out there! I don't think anyone could have survived what Craig put you through out there."

Stan audibly growled and glared at Kyle.

"Stop praising him," Stan said while walking out of Kyle's grasp. "He's not that great."

"I never said he was," Kyle said dejectedly. He was confused at what Stan's problem was, he was suddenly all mad for no reason, but that didn't give him a reason to take it out on Kyle. "So… are we all going home together or-"

"I can drive you home Wendy," Stan said to Wendy. "But… I think I'll only drive Wendy home tonight, alright Kyle?"

"What?" Kyle asked wide eyed. That sort of pissed him off. Stan had said he'd be driving everyone to and from school but today Kenny had work and Cartman was off doing something stupid so it would only be him and Stan. Kyle had already thought the 2 of them could do something while they were out, but this was… well, it really pissed him off.

"I'll pick you up for school tomorrow dude," Stan said quickly, like he was trying to reassure Kyle of something. "Just… Look, I'm going to hang out with Wendy tonight, okay? I know it's last minute and everything but… Look, just do this okay? I promise I'll-"

"Fine!" Kyle said quickly, throwing his hands up in the air to express that he was through with hearing Stan. "You want to hang out with Wendy? Fine. Just fucking tell me before so I could of left and took the bus or something."

Before Stan could say anything Kyle had already turned around and started walking in the opposite direction. Before, Kyle and Stan would walk home after each other's practice and talk and fool around like when they were kids. Now, Kyle felt Stan was just ignoring Kyle's feelings. It felt like Stan thought Kyle was expendable. As Kyle walked by Craig watched him pass by. Craig swallowed hard; he knew what he wanted to do but just need to get the courage. It was a good thing the adrenalin from practice was still pumping through his veins.

"Kyle!" Craig shouted, causing Kyle to turn around and watch Craig run up to him. Craig stopped in front of Kyle and gave a light, almost unnoticeable smile. "You walking alone today?"

"Yeah," Kyle said, a little sad. "Stan's too busy with his, quote-unquote, girlfriend to remember he promised to drive me home."

Kyle didn't know why he was complaining to Craig. Honestly, he didn't think he should be complaining to anyone about this sort of stuff. But it felt heavy on his chest and Craig seemed like he was ready to listen to anything with Kyle.

"You want me to walk home with you?"

Kyle looked up at Craig surprised.

"I mean, you're not out of my way or anything, and we can just walk together. We don't have to talk or anything if you don't want to, but-"

Craig was cut off by Kyle.

"Sure."


	7. Looking at the past

"No Shelly," Stan groaned into the phone. There was nothing like talking to his sister after a particularly awkward drive home with his girlfriend. "It wasn't that I said something or she said something, it was that we said nothing. _Nothing_. As in, I didn't start a conversation and she didn't even try to start one either."

Shelly sighed as she listened to her younger brother. Shelly lived in a single dorm room up in Stanford and she called home once a week on Friday to check up on everybody and talk to her little brother. When Stan called on Monday Shelly knew he had a problem. It was usually about Wendy, either she was too cold or he was too busy or maybe some weird robot was trying to get in between them. Each time he called he would have his serious tone that was panicked and troubled, but today he sounded different. It was as if he was mad and also guilty at the same time.

"So why didn't you try to talk to her?" Shelly questioned as she leaned against the wall. Shelly's voice had changed once her braces and headgear were removed. She had almost no spit ever come out and her voice had softened to a light alto.

"I… I tried playing the radio."

Shelly narrowed her eyes as if she were looking directly at Stan.

"How is that talking to her Stan?"

Stan sighed and let his head fall back against the head board of his bed.

"I thought that would start something, but it did nothing! She didn't even say anything when I put it on that crappy pop music radio station she hates! She just sat there and looked out the window the whole time!"

He scratched the back of his head lightly as he breathed in. Calling Shelly was a bad idea, he could now see that she was going to point out that this whole thing was either a misunderstanding or somehow all his fault.

"Did you 2 have a fight earlier?" Shelly asked. She knew the answer: yes. Wendy and Stan always have a fight that starts the whole mess.

"Well yeah, but no, but-"

"Make up your mind Stan."

"… Yes and no."

"What's that supposed to mean Stan? 2 people cannot have a fight and yet not have a fight."

"Well… we sort of did earlier but then we got better."

"What?" Shelly was getting aggravated now. She had always had trouble keeping her trigger hair of a temper in check, and Stan's constant talking in circles wasn't helping. She took a deep breath and brought her voice back down to an alto. "Okay Stan, tell me what happened and be reasonable. If you don't make complete, absolute-fucking sense I will drive down to South Park just so I can beat your ass."

"Jezz," Stan sighed as he rolled his eyes, knowing she was fucking serious. "Thanks for the support."

"I am being supportive, but you're being a little dick weed with your victim act when you obviously know you've done something wrong. Just start making fucking sense so I can help you."

Stan took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. This had always been the best way for him to focus his thoughts.

"Okay, so we got into this kind of fight on Halloween or whatever-"

"Kind of fight?" That pissed Shelly off. "There is no such thing as a "kind of" fight, Stan. You either did fucking fight or you didn't."

"Well we did! Sort of. I mean, I didn't yell at her or anything but she did. She just went crazy and got all hurt and mad for no reason-"

"What did you do?"

"Nothing! I didn't do anything! I just told her I had to leave because Kyle was too shit faced to walk home!"

"So you ditched her."

"I didn't ditch-"

"Wait. Kyle got drunk? Kyle? Broflovski? The one with red hair who you're gay for?"

Stan's eyes shot wide open and a look of horror excluded over him.

"I am not gay for him!" Stan nearly shouted. His parents were downstairs and he was more than a little worried that they may have overheard that. The fact that he was calling Shelly from his cell phone in his room was his only sense of privacy without the threat of someone eavesdropping on him. Then again… he did just scream at the top of his lungs that he wasn't gay for his best friend and he was pretty sure the homeless guy in the alley across from their house heard that.

"Fuck," Shelly said as she pulled the cell phone away from her ear. Stan had basically shouted in to it and she glared at it before returning it to her ear. "Don't fucking do that to me again or else I'll fucking kick your ass when I get home."

"Right," Stan said with his voice down to a whisper.

"Fucking – Speak the fuck up! You can't just scream at me and then go into a whisper. And fucking finish what you were saying."

"Right," Stan said as he started speaking up. "Right, right. So anyway, I tried calling her last night before school but she didn't answer. And then, at school, she finally talks to me and gives me all this crap about how I'm not spending enough time with her and that I'm hanging out with Kyle too much and then gives me this silent ultimatum and then drops the shit there. You know, until she then just stays all quiet during the car ride like I would explode or something if she said anything."

"So," Shelly stretched out so the "o" lasted about 20 seconds. "You guys got in a fight over Kyle?"

"No! It's not about Kyle!"

"Jesus Stan, what are getting so defensive about?"

Stan wanted to retort, he wanted to say he wasn't defensive about anything but he couldn't. Shelly's bluntness always put Stan off and made him nervous about what to say next. She could always see through his bullshit. Before he could say anything he heard his phone buzz with the sounds of tubas. Cartman was calling.

"Shit," he said into the phone. "Shelly, I've got another call."

"So answer it," Shelly said naturally, as if it was the obvious thing.

"But I need to talk to you."

"No Stan, you need to catch a clue."

"Hey-"

"Just put them on."

"What?"

"Are you fucking retarded too? Put the shit head on."

"But…. It's Cartman."

"Good. You need someone who won't sugar code this shit and I need someone who isn't trying to weasel out on the story."

"Hey-"

"Put him on, turd."

Stan sighed yet reluctantly complied. Shelly had a way of bossing Stan around and making him see things her way. Stan pressed the answer button and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Hey Cartman," he sighed in a bored and defeated tone.

"What the fuck Stan!?"

Stan eyed his phone curiously. Cartman was talking avidly and angrily, as if Stan had wronged him. Had he?

"What?" Stan questioned. "What I do?"

"You know what you did you fucking pussy! You were the one who put up all those weight-loss posters with the picture of me under 'before'!"

Stan actually had to cover his mouth and consciously keep himself from laughing. That was a new idea. How could he have missed that?

"Dude," Stan managed to breathe out without giggling like a maniac. "That wasn't me."

"Oh yeah? So I guess some other asshole had to of done it then, huh?"

"Yeah dude."

"Oh yeah? What's you alibi asshole!? Where were you between 9 am and 3 pm this afternoon!?"

"… School dumbass, with you and everyone else."

"Oh… well, where were you between 3 and 5pm tonight!?"

"Football practice dude."

"And who will vouch for you!?"

"… The football team."

"Oh."

"And Kyle and Wendy."

"Oh well… where were you between 9 and 11pm tonight!?"

"Dude, it's only 6:30 pm. And before you ask where I was in the last hour I was driving Wendy home and then I ate dinner. So not enough time to draw up, copy and spread those photos around dude. Although, now I really want to find that guy."

"Me too!"

"And shake his hand."

"Hey! You traitorous bitch!"

"Hey wait a second," Shelly interrupted the 2 boys boring and obnoxious fight. She always found any fight involving Eric Cartman o be tedious and usually stupid. "You said Kyle was at your practice?"

"Yeah," Stan replied.

"What the fuck?" Cartman questioned. "Who is that? Who else is in the _private _discussion Stan? Do you have some sort of babe on the other line Stan? And if so, does she know you have a much hotter friend she could be speaking to?"

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. It was not unusual for Cartman to pretend to be smooth when it came to women. The key word in that sentence being _pretend_. Stan also remembered that Cartman hasn't seen or heard Shelly since she was in the 8th grade.

"It's Shelly you ass-shat."

There was a dead silence over the phone for a full 20 seconds.

"No way!" Cartman was almost shouting. He couldn't believe what Stan had told him. "That CAN'T be Shelly! That voice is far too sexy to belong to that hoe-bag of a sister of yours!"

"Shut up you turd!" Shelly spat back.

"Oh my God," Cartman said in a tone as if he was seeing the truth of everything before his eyes. "That… that is her…"

Cartman hadn't really seen Shelly before since the last time they met. It was when she was in the 8th grade and he was in 5th and they met each other in the mall. He was teasing homeless people at the fountain and she stood and watched for a moment. He noticed after a while she had started to giggle. He then noticed that when she smiled, she looked cute… in a total ugly bitch sort of way.

Cartman stayed quiet until Shelly let out an audible sigh and restarted the conversation.

"Cartman," Shelly began in a calm, peaceful tone that shocked and intrigued Cartman at the same time. "Do you know what's wrong with Stan and Wendy's relationship?"

"Hey," Stan whined. "There's nothing wrong with me and Wendy!"

"Psh," Cartman said while waving his hand, as if anyone could see it. He didn't think the conversation would turn to this. Not that he wanted it to, but it wasn't something he couldn't answer. "Of course I do, it's so obvious."

"Well tell it," Shelly said quickly. "My little Turd of a brother needs a wakeup call."

"There's nothing wrong with us!" Stan argued. "Nothing! We just had a fight!"

"For the 50th time in, what, the last 3 relationships put together?" Cartman bemused with a smirk. There was no denying that Stan had obvious problems with Wendy and no denying that they were obviously a train wreck together.

"So nothing unusual on that front, huh?" Shelly asked, interested.

"No way! That bitch always finds something to hound Stan on all the time! It's like it's her personal hobby. "Let me find something about Stan I want to change and then bitch at him about"," Cartman said in a high pitched mimic of Wendy's voice.

Stan giggled a little before rebutting.

"That's not what she does."

"Stan," Shelly said in a serious tone directed at him.

"What?"

"You didn't defend her."

"… What?"

"You just laughed at it like it was true and then played it."

"I did not!"

"Yes you did."

"It's because he knows it's true," Cartman said while looking at his nails. He noticed they had a little dirt on them from somewhere. "He knows it but he's too much of a pussy to bring it up or anything so he just lets Wendy dress him up like one of those gay dogs in a pet show that never wins."

"Shut up!" Stan said, blushing a little and thankful for the fact no one could see him. "I am not a pussy!"

"But you do let her push you around." Shelly said dingily.

Stan opened his mouth to retort but came up dry. He hated to say, well think, it but… Cartman had a point. Whatever Stan and Wendy did together Wendy would suggest and plan it. Stan would do whatever Wendy wanted, say whatever she wanted and sometimes he even thought whatever she wanted him to think about. Stan shuffled his feet and arms a bit. He was trying to think of something, a time when he didn't do what she wanted or a reason why whatever she wanted to do was reasonable. But he just kept fidgeting.

"See," Cartman stated over the silence. "I was right. He's a pussy and he knows it."

"I am not!"

"Yeah," Shelly confirmed while nodding her head. "He always has been."

"Hey! Shelly! Whose side are you on?"

"The side that has their shit together."

"… I seriously don't think Cartman has his shit together better than me."

"Hey!" Cartman yelled angrily.

"Maybe not," Shelly said while nodding her head. "But he at least acts like he does."

"Why thank you Shelly," Cartman said in a pleasant tone.

"She just insulted you dude," Stan pointed out.

"Alright," Cartman said grudgingly. "What the fuck is this all about? Are we here to tell Stan he's being a pussy about Wendy? Because I do that all the time and he never seems to catch a clue no matter what."

"And I keep telling you to cut that shit out before I beat your ass," Stan mumbled.

"Speak up Stan," Shelly said as she shifted her weight to her other foot, trying to become as comfortable as possible. "No, I'm trying to get it through his head that there's an obvious reason for all of this that he isn't seeing."

"Oh yeah?" Stan asked with his eyebrows perked up, both interested and wiry of what she means. "What is that?"

"Kyle."

"Kyle?"

"Yeah. Kyle. You know; red hair and green eyes with an even greener hat. The one who used to follow you around like a puppy dog and hold your hand when he got scared."

"He did not follow me around like a dog!" Stan yelled and then crossed his arms. "And that only happened once because it was dark and we didn't know where we were going."

"So you admit to holding his hand?"

"Yeah, but, it wasn't weird or anything."

"So you didn't think that was a little weird? 2 boys holding each other's hands?"

"We were kids!"

"Back then you knew what gay was."

"… I hate you so much right now Shelly."

"So Stan was a fag for the Jew since he was kid?" Cartman asked as he pulled out his mom's nail file. He really couldn't stand having dirty nails. "Oh who am I kidding? It's been obvious those 2 were like, IN LOVE, since preschool."

"Shut up, Cartman!"

"Yeah," Shelly said while nodding her head. "I mean, it was always so gay when those 2 were together. What with Kyle coming over almost EVERY weekend for a slumber party."

"It wasn't gay!"

"I mean, they'd sleep in the same bed together."

"I know," Cartman said with a smile, like a teenage girl talking to his-er-her best girlfriend. "They'd always be walking home from school together or doing class projects together or, get this, they'd even join clubs together."

"That's normal!" Stan yelled, he felt like he was just a background noise.

"Oh," Shelly laughed out, trying to get to the story before she cracked up. "This one time our mom made a cake with homemade icing and everything and Stan decided him and Kyle would decorate."

"Don't say it Shelly," Stan said in a desperate voice. His eyes were shot open and he felt sweat run down his back.

"So anyway," Shelly returned, as if she hadn't even heard Stan. "They're just at the table and decorating and getting icing everywhere like idiots and when I walk in, like 30 minutes later, they're all covered in icing."

"Shut up," Stan nearly begged, his face getting red.

"And Stan I see Stan and Kyle whipping off the icing with their fingers and sucking it off."

"Gay," Cartman blew out with a smirk.

"That's not the worse part."

"Don't say it," Stan said while nearly hiding his face behind his hand. As if that would make both him and the story disappear from the memory of time.

"Kyle had it all over his left cheek and Stan just leans in randomly and starts licking it."

"NO FUCKING WAY!" Cartman nearly screams out while laughing.

"I'm serious!" Shelly laughs as well. "He's fucking licking Kyle's cheek and then he tips him over and the 2 of them start wrestling each other until Kyle's on top of Stan and he licks Stan's cheek!"

"Oh God…" Stan moaned. He had completely forgotten that incident or written it off as the 2 of them being kids. But now, now he was embarrassed by it and… slightly aroused about remembering it. That put him in a mini panic. He wasn't thinking about anything except that and how Kyle had liked his cheek when they were little.

"HOW FUCKING GAY IS THAT!" Cartman is nearly in tears laughing.

"I know right!" Shelly laughs back. "I mean, I'm standing there, trying to get like milk or something, and I see my brother trying to get to second base with his friend in our kitchen and doing it all wrong!"

"What a fag! I mean, I knew the 2 of them were trying to finger bang each other since 3rd grade, but I had no idea they'd gone that far!"

"Who knows how far they've gone? I mean, they did sleep in the same bed together during their sleep overs."

"I'M STILL FUCKING HERE YOU KNOW!?" Stan shouts in to his cell phone, causing both Cartman and Shelly to back away from their phones from the volume. A minute ago Stan was crouched down in a sitting position; red and dizzy from embarrassment and listening to Cartman and Shelly. Now he was standing up straight with his face a blaze, he was sure the room wasn't quite as hot as it was before.

"Damnit Stan," Cartman said at last, switching his phone from one ear to the other. "Can you get any fucking louder? I swear, you could of just yelled out your window and I would of fucking heard you from here!"

"I'm kicking your ass for that," Shelly said once she returned her phone to her ear.

"He's always so fucking loud. You know, when he's not being a pussy and trying to hide from shit."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Little asshole… Just how many times do you think you've almost blown out my eardrums in this night alone, Stan?"

"Sorry," Stan said, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. "Sorry… sorry…. It's just, no! That is so wrong! I mean, we were kids when that happened! We didn't know any better, I mean. We just thought that was fun and that's what friends do to each other. I mean, we probably wouldn't of done it if we knew what that looked like."

"Probably," Cartman laughed out. "Yeah, you'd have 'probably' done something else. Like, you'd have 'probably' stuck icing on his dick just so you'd have an excuse to suck him off."

Stan got red in the face and his eyes shot open. He felt his stomach lurch from the bottom and his mouth drop open. He tried to form words but his mouth was dry and when wind came from his throat it only emitted a sort of chocking sound.

"I don't hear him refusing that statement, do you Shelly?"

"Fuck off," Stan finally managed to make out after a few seconds.

"Oh jezz Stan, if you were so worried about what people thought you 2 looked like you'd have noticed that the 2 of you look like fags together everyday at school."

"We do not! We're normal! We do the exact same shit as any other guys!"

"Oh really? Do all the guys walk each other home or wait for each other after practice like a girlfriend?"

Cartman smirked as he heard Stan's silence on the other end. There was nothing more refreshing then making Stan frustrated about, well anything. And the fact he looked cool in front of Shelly wasn't too bad either. Not that that mattered to him. Really…

"He's got a point Stan," Shelly said while leaning against the wall.

"WHAT!?"

"Thank you!" Cartman said victoriously, his other arm stretched up as if he'd caught a high flying football.

"Think about it Stan," Shelly said in a professional tone. "Kyle's at your practice, Kyle's in your room all the time, fuck, you drove him home because you didn't want him to be alone at the party that night."

"Actually I walked him home," Stan offered, as if that made a difference.

"That only proves my point Stan."

"What point?"

"That you're gay for him," Cartman offered. He was actually wondering if that was what Shelly was going for. He never could read the girl.

"I am not!" Stan nearly shouted again.

"But he's important to you," Shelly stated, knowing there was no question. She'd seen those 2 grow up together as if they shared a heart and liver. There was no way anyone was more important to Stan than Kyle in his life.

"Of course he is." Stan said solemnly. "He's my best friend…"

"And Wendy's your girlfriend."

"I don't see where this is going Shelly."

"This is where it's going. You have to realize something here, now and not later. Who's more important to you: Kyle or Wendy?"

Stan stood there, as if he was absorbing Shelly's words like a plant does sunlight. Who was more important to him? Was that like who he liked more? No, Stan knew the difference between something being important and liking something. Stan liked football but it wasn't important to him. Stan liked pizza but he could live without it. What was important to Stan? Kyle was definitely important to him. Kyle was his best friend, Kyle helped him whenever he was in trouble, Kyle listened to his problems, Kyle cheered him up even when he didn't know he was sad. Wendy was his girlfriend. That made her important… but, what about her made her more important than Kyle?

"He's going to pick Kyle," Cartman said before hanging up. He faintly heard Stan yell 'Hey' before he clicked the end button and stuffed his cell phone in his pocket.

"He hung up," Stan sighed in relief. Knowing Cartman he'd use what Shelly said as amo against him tomorrow but wasn't really interested in what had transpired.

"Hmm," Shelly hummed out bemusedly. "Has Cartman changed much since I last saw him?"

"What? No, not really. I mean, he's taller now and I guess he doesn't look that fat anymore. He's still as sick and evil as ever and still can't tell the difference between cartoons and a Steven Spielburg movie."

"Maybe I'll look him up next time I'm in town."

"Dude!"

That was when Shelly hung up on Stan. Stan stood there and listened to the disconnected tone on his phone, the beeping adding a strangely calming effect. He thought about that time Shelly had mentioned with him, Kyle and the icing. It was a cake his mom had made to give the Broflovski's for Ike's birthday. Kyle and Stan had made such a mess together, the floor and themselves included, that Sharon had demanded the boy's take a bath immediately before cleaning up the floor. The 2 of them had taken a bath together to save time and made another mess in the bathroom.

Stan remembered how back then Sharon was such a photo junky that she took a picture of the 2 of them together almost every day. Stan pressed the off button on his phone, stuffed it in his pocket and went downstairs. He wondered if his mom had taken a picture of that day and put it somewhere.

When he came downstairs he saw his mom in the kitchen doing the dishes while humming to tune to an old radio song and his dad in the living room flipping between football, Terrance and Philip, and his new, weird, obsession. Stan didn't really understand it, or why, but his dad was obsessed with the indie-rock group from Israel that was preaching something about political asylum or whatever. All he knew was to stay out of it; if someone purposely, or accidentally, challenged Randy's new and confusing belief they would be in a real shit storm. Stan walked past him, catching a glimpse of an Iraque with a guitar and then Terrance farting, and settled himself on the floor in front of the bookshelf. His mom loved to scrap book, but they always turned into massive photo albums that contained all the photos from that 1 year in them.

Stan kept his head low, trying to get a good view of them, and pulled out the big, blue binder labeled "Stan, 4th grade". Stan opened it up and flipped through the year. Each photo had a different version of Stan from that year. It was a bit of a surprise, how much had happened in that 1 year. Metro sexual was in, there was that outbreak of the plague, Stan got his bangs cut and… he couldn't find the picture. In fact, there seemed to be barely any pictures of just him and Kyle together.

"Hey mom," Stan yelled over to the kitchen. That was something common in the Marsh household, yelling to each other rather than going over to them and talking to them, so now they just yell from different rooms in the house or call one of their phones. "Why isn't Kyle in any of these pictures in this album?"

"Because they're in a different album, Stan," Sharon Marsh called out from the kitchen. She found this form of communication annoying and abusive, but she was too busy to leave the kitchen and reprimand Stan. "There're so many of you 2 that I just started keeping separate albums of the 2 of you."

Stan quickly put the blue binder away and carefully traced his finger over the tops of each binder, carefully searching for his prey. He felt determined; something about his talk with Shelly really made him want to see that picture for some reason. It made him want to search for a fragment of time that may or may not exist. Stan almost stopped breathing when he finally found the missing album of his life. It was twice as big as the one containing pictures of just him and it was green and yellow stripped. Stan gently traced the neatly printed words on the front cover "Stan and Kyle, 4th grade". When Stan opened the album he was greeted with the picture of Stan and Kyle standing next to each other, smiles planted on their faces and in their winter gear at the bus stop.

Stan smiled as he flipped through the year, each day, week and month holding the still frame pieces of time that Stan hadn't forgotten. Every snow ball fight, every sledding trip, camping trip and weird shit that ever went down in South Park that year was forever enclosed in a square window into the past. Each picture had the 2 of them smiling together, whether it was them playing tag or working on a way to bring Kenny back they were smiling together. Stan gently flipped through each page until he stopped at the 1 entitled 'Ike's Birthday Cake'.

There were no pictures of Ike or Shelly or even the cake really, just Stan and Kyle having a blast with the icing. Stan actually had to keep himself from laughing. There were around 8 different photos and each one was more extreme and hilarious than the other. One had Kyle tackling Stan to the ground with a big grin on his face and another had Stan squirting icing at Kyle from the weird decorating bottle. Stan traced over the photos nostalgically, it had been awhile since Kyle and he had done anything really extreme or silly together. Stan stopped at a photo near the bottom of the page and picked it out of the book to have a closer look at it.

In it, Kyle's cheek is against Stan's and he has a grin that is so big his eyes are closed; he looks like he is in mid-laugh. Stan was smiling the same and had his arm around Kyle's waist, pulling him closer to Stan. Both of their hats are off and there is so much red, yellow and blue icing on them they look like something out of a modern art collection. But in their messy and rambunctious state they somehow manage to look completely adorable.

Stan laughed a little before staring at the picture intently. He remembered how this had happened. His mom had told them to pose for at least one photo for her and to look nice too. Kyle and Stan had just finished wrestling and Kyle was a giggling idiot, something about rolling around in icing had made him super giddy. Kyle hugged Stan tight and Stan pulled him in so close that it was almost as if the 2 of them had been born sharing the same kidney. Of course after the picture was taken they were yelled at and told to clean up the kitchen and then take a bath, but they had had so much fun they could care less how their afternoon was spent.

Stan put the photo in his back pocket and put up the album. To him the photo was too precious to be left in an album to be forgotten about. To Stan it represented a much simpler time. A time that was happy, care free and full of wonder. The world was still filled with wonder to Stan, and all he wanted to do was go see that world with his best friend, but that picture conveyed his sense of happiness that no other scene could.

"Why couldn't we stay that way?" Stan thought as he got up and climbed the stairs back to his room. "Why couldn't everything just stay like that? Why did everything and everyone have to come in and confuse me with all this shit?"

Sn couldn't understand what was going on. But how could he? He was just turning 16 in a few months, his long time on-and-off girlfriend didn't seem to understand him anymore and Kyle… Kyle understood him better than anyone and vice-versa for Stan. But now, something told Stan that he wasn't thinking about everything the way he used to. As Stan settled in his bed and pulled out the photo to give it one last look over, Stan had to wonder… Has everything about us changed?

-Somewhere else in South Park-

"Who was that guy?"

Kyle looked up from his book and looked at his younger brother who was standing at the door of the living room. Kyle had gotten home about 30 minutes ago in which he took a quick shower and found a book to read before dinner started. They were having Knishes, in an attempt to find something Kyle would eat more of. He did do better with bread.

"That was Craig," Kyle said casually as he returned to his book. "He goes to my school."

"What about Stan?"

Kyle stopped mid-sentence and sighed. Ike had become really annoying about Stan lately. He always questioned what Kyle and Stan were doing together or what they talked about and when they were going on another trip to Denver together again. He was starting to wonder if Ike had a crush on Stan.

"Stan took his girlfriend home," Kyle said while not looking up from his book. He didn't even notice the anger in his voice or that his eyes had formed a glare. "And anyway, why should Stan always be hanging around me? Why does Stan always have to be the one to walk me home every night?"

Ike noticed that Kyle was now glaring at the words on his book as if they had wronged him. Ike was worried. He had been since he saw a tall boy with green eyes and black, straight hair walk Kyle up to their doorway and wave 'bye' to him. He saw that down the street Kyle had been avidly talking to him about something and the boy just sort of listened to him. That wasn't right; Stan was supposed to do that. Stan had done that since they were in elementary school, and when Ike saw Kyle walking home with another guy… it didn't look RIGHT.

"So does Stan know you walked home with, what's his name again, Craig?"

Kyle shut his book loudly and dramatically, not even leaving a bookmark in its place.

"Why does Stan have to know I walked home with someone else?" Kyle asked, his tone angry and unsettled. "You know what; he doesn't have to know because he doesn't deserve to know. If he really cared he would have taken me home, like he said he would. But no, he had to take his girlfriend home and completely ditch me like I was a burden. And, you know what, who cares who I came home with? What? I can't have other friends? Craig was nice enough to walk to my house and then go home, so why should Stan care? In fact, why should Stan be a part of this at all?"

Ike's eyes went wide as he saw his brother become more and more animated with anger. Kyle wasn't looking at Ike at all; he was staring down at the floor as if he was glaring at Stan himself. Ike knew not to open his mouth at this point.

"Not like he cares that much, right? I mean, why wouldn't he even talk to me all day? He just used me to open his locker and then he gets all pissy on the field at me and then he ditches me. And for who? Wendy, that's who. He ditched me twice today, twice! No, he ditched me 3 times today!" Kyle took out his hand and counted on his fingers. "Once this morning. Then during lunch. And then he ditched me afterschool because he had to drive her home. So you know what? Why should he have to know that I happen to have another friend? It's not like I'm not replaceable, since I'm not as important to his as Wendy. Hell, I bet I'm not even more important to him then that God Damn football team!"

Kyle threw his book on the floor with a slam and noticed how quick his breathing had become. It was then that he realized that he had been screaming. When he looked up over at his young brother he could see the 11 year old cowering behind the door, only peeking at his older brother.

"Umm," Ike had to say something, anything to make his brother less savage at the moment. Then he remembered what his mom had asked Kyle on his way up the stairs but didn't listen to her about. "Mom wanted to know why you didn't invite him over for dinner… I think she thought he was Stan at first but then wanted to know who your new friend was…"

Kyle's breathing had become steady and his temper calmed back down. Kyle sighed as he picked up his book and looked over at Ike apologetically.

"He's not really my friend," Kyle said as he got up off the couch and put his book down on it. "He's just in a few of my classes and we're… getting along better now. Sorry for yelling like that. C'mon, let's go into the dining room so mom can whine about me being too skinny some more."

Ike watched Kyle walk past him and then leaned against the wall and gave a sigh. This isn't good. Not good at all. Kyle was way too confused about his feeling to understand why he was mad at Stan and now this Craig kid has come into the picture… Ike remembered watching Craig's expression. Silent, not bored but not interested in what Kyle was saying. Like he was looking past what Kyle was talking about and just watching Kyle _move_. He remembered that look. It reminded him of how Kenny would look at Kyle; but not in that playful silly manner that Ike trusted.

This was not good. Not good at all.

-And in yet another house in South Park at that time-

Wendy sat on the bed of her perfectly clean and pink room. The room was most definitely pink. Of all the things Wendy tried to refuse was the female stereotype of loving girly, pretty things. But that was only a front. On the inside, which she safely kept secret in her room, she loved the fluffy and the sparkly and the girly. It was her one, true weakness. And here she sat on her pink covered bed with purple, fluffy pillows and a princess canopy.

She was looking down at her homework when a book fell off her bed. As she reached down and picked it up she noticed that it was the book she checked out in the library. The one she had grabbed when she saw Craig rubbing Kyle's shoulders.

Wendy stopped and stared at the book. It really didn't look like Craig was JUST rubbing Kyle's shoulders. It looked almost as if he was feeling Kyle up. The way Craig moved his hands had almost given Wendy the impression that he wanted to take off Kyle's clothes. And that wasn't the weird part. Kyle was sort of moaning the entire time which shocked Wendy. Kyle had always seemed very… she doesn't want to say straight but at least someone who wasn't comfortable having a guy _touch _him like Craig was.

Wendy shifted her weight and thought about what she had seen. What had she seen? It defienatly looked more than just Craig rubbing Kyle's shoulders. Craig was way too into it and focused, like he wanted something from it. And Kyle, well, he seemed a bit too relaxed. It could have just been from all the stress, it could simply be explained as Kyle just needing someone to help relax him. But… then again. Kyle had never made _those _kinds of sounds. They were too deep, too throaty, too… needy.

Wendy put the book back down on her head. She needed to stop thinking about that. It wasn't any of her business and she had no right to have been eavesdropping on them. It was just… she couldn't NOT watch them. It was that sort of thing you couldn't help watching.

She had never seen Kyle so different from his usual self. In fact, the only time she believe she had ever seen Kyle not being serious was that… thing with Craig and when he was cheering on Stan. Kyle seemed different. Happy different and much more animated. Wendy looked down at her homework and wondered where in that bin of knowledge explained how Stan could make Kyle feel that happy. And she wondered if she knew if that would make her that happy as well?


End file.
